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dragonflydi

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Joined
Oct 19, 2010
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79
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
NY
City
Fredonia
I need some advice about antidepressants and I hope someone can help me. I haven't posted much because in addition to caring for my husband here in W.NY (who has slow progression ALS--5 years now) I have been long-distance caring for my very ill parents in Florida for two years now as well. In what has to be one of the most unusual coincidences ever, they both died last week on the same day within hours of each other. I suppose that after 65 years together, they simply couldn't bear to be apart. I am an only child and really struggling with grief and sadness. I see my husband's passing reflected in theirs and I'm having trouble taking care of him as well as he needs to be taken care of right now. The mountain of paperwork, phone calls, etc. that comes with the death of both parents is overwhelming and in addition to that, I will have to travel to Florida in a few weeks to tie up all the loose ends and sell their house. Needless to say, it will cost quite a bit to hire aides for my husband and my head is just spinning. My doctor has given me Wellbutrin, but I am afraid of the side effects. Is anyone willing to share their experiences with antidepressants? I have always been the kind of person who hates to take even an aspirin so this is a struggle for me even though I realize that I'm not functioning very well right now. Thank you--Diane
 
Diane,

I'm very sorry about your parents death- but in some ways, it's nice for them that they went together. Especially after 65 years. Although becoming an orphan at any age is traumatic and harder still for an only child. Glad your husband is slow progressing.

I'm like you, not a pill popper, but I was prescribed on "D" day, and occasionally use a tranquilizer (Ativan). I find it helps me on bad days. Would suggest you give your medicine a try and see if it helps you. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist, minister or grief counselor to help you through this unbelievably rough patch. Perhaps joining a support group may be beneficial.

You have had extreme on-going stresses in your life in the last 5 years. Of course your head is spinning. You've done/doing so much for others, do something for yourself. Can you hire people in Florida to help dispose of the home and contents? I think there are companies specializing in these services. You need time to grieve also. It's only been a week- maybe some of the estate related tasks you're doing can wait or be delegated to other relatives, close friends or attorney. Give yourself a break! It's long overdue.
 
Thanks, Ottawa Girl, for that sweet message. I do see a counselor who is wonderful and has helped me quite a bit. As for support groups, the nearest ALS one is an hour away and it's on the night that I work. I may try to find a grief support group locally, instead. I have contacted someone to help clear out my folks' place after I take the memorabilia, etc. that I want and they will take it all to a Hospice resale shop. I am also planning a "make an offer" sale of their furniture, TV, computer, etc. while I'm down there. Since they lived in a mobile home park, I'm only inviting people from the park and I'm sure it will help weed things out. I have a dear friend coming with me for support so that will make everything easier. --Diane
 
Hi! I was sorry to read about all your heartache you have experienced. I am glad you at least have a counselor to talk too. I see one too to help me cope with my dad having ALS. I have also been diagnosed since high school with severe depression and haven't taken medicine off/on for several years. My dad took a very small dosage for just a short term when my mother passed away. He is not a pill popper either. But, he said he couldn't sleep and it really helped him. Take care of yourself and I will add you to my prayer list. Kim
 
I am so sorry to hear for your loss, I recently lost my father to ALS but can only imagine the grief your feeling.

I know a lot of people don't like to depend on medication but an antidepressant has helped me through this time. I take Efexor, it has helped me a lot, although I have spent a day or two in bed since dad passed it has helped with the constant sadness and stress I have been feeling.

I will be praying for you and your family, as I said I can't imagine how you feel. Just promise me that you won't allow others to tell you how to feel. You are entitled to be sad. *hugs*
 
My son took Wellbutrin for serious depression several years ago and it was seriously a life saver for him. His doctor carefully built up his dosage and just as carefully weaned him off when it was time. He took it for about 2 years. Very little by way of side effects once his body adjusted to it.

With all you have going on, it sounds like a good idea to me.
 
Wow Diane, you are dealing with so much! You poor thing...

I never wanted to take anit depressants and really struggled with saddness from the stress of caregiving. One year ago, I just could not take it anymore--weeping and sad and so down all the time. I started taking a low dose of celexa and I am so glad I did! It really took the edge off my negative emotions and allowed me to feel happy again. I am better able to function, make decisions, handle problems, I don't cry all the time. I think you would benefit from taking something during this extra stressful time.

I am sorry for your stress and the death of your parents...
 
I hear you about not liking to take drugs, but Atavan has been a life saver to me. My Best Friend had a non-ALS event in her life and was put on Welbuttrin for a short time and it did a world of good for her.

These are not normal circumstances. Please consider stepping outside your comfort zone for temporary relief.

I'm truly sorry for your losses.
 
Diane, first, I am so sorry for the loss of your parents.

I can't speak to the side effects of Wellbutrin, but have had low-grade depression for years and take Paxil for it. I've heard people express concerns that anti-depressants will dull or blunt their personalities, but I haven't experienced that at all. Paxil has been a lifesaver for me.

A lot of people become depressed as a result of a specific incidence, like a divorce or death, and anti-depressants can be very helpful during those very difficult circumstances. Like Barbie said, they can help people to function, make decisions and simply cope. Many of those people don't need to take anti-depressants on a long-term basis.

Stress is a trigger for depression, and it sounds like you're under a lot of stress, not to mention the grieving you're going through. My advice is not to worry too much about taking Wellbutrin and consider it a temporary solution to help you through this difficult time. One word of caution, though - make sure to consult with your doctor before going off them, because abruptly stopping them can cause problems. It's important to reduce the dose gradually when you go off them.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care.
 
Thank you all so much for your kind and sensitive replies. I really appreciate the help and advice. I think it's probably a good idea to go ahead and try the Wellbutrin for a while. Life has just thrown me a few too many curve balls. Diane
 
Diane,

So sorry to hear about your parents.

I have had such bad anxiety (more than depression) since mu husband's diagnosis. I feel so overwhelmed then would wake up in the middle of the night with a full on panic attack. This was something I had never experienced in the past.

I am a nurse and am fully aware of the potential side effects and interactions of drugs so I only take what I need. I decided that I need to sleep and not feel so overwhelmed all the time if I had any hope of caring for my husband and our 11 year old daughter.

My doctor put me on Lexapro- it has a low side effects and helps with depression and anxiety. Just because this drug works for me does not mean it is the best one for you and once you start taking a medication does not mean you have to stay on it forever. Most antidepressants take about 6 weeks before they are working at their full potential so do not expect an overnight miracle if you decide to start one.

It is a personal decision and you need to do what is right for you. I am glad that I did this for myself, I am better able to deal with the anxiety and do not feel so overwhelmed. This means I can better enjoy my time with my family.

Talk to your doctor and hang in there.

Heather
 
Diane,
If I can help you at all - I am in Florida and would be happy to do whatever I can to ease your road....Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you out. You came to "family" here...
Amy
 
I'm so sorry to hear of your double loss... I cannot imagine how overwhelming it mus be.

I'm also not someone who felt comfortable taking medicine, but you should definitely see if you can take something to help you through this time. I also take citalopram, a generic of celexa.

Do you have anyone close to you to help with hubby while you're gone? ALSA and ALSGuardian Angels may have some funds to help in emergencies, please check with them.
 
I also feel the same way about medicine. After a few years of my mother having ALS the weight on my shoulders was just too much to bare and I started having panic attacks all the time. So my doctor wanted to put me on medicine. I told him that I refused to take any kind of medication that I could TELL i was taking or would make me feel weird or not myself. I explained I didn't want to feel like i was medicated. He started me on a gradual dosage of Zoloft and it continued up after a few weeks. This way I never was able to tell I was on the medicine an the medicine helped so much. After fighting being medicated for years I am so glad I finally did it because even excerising wasn't enough. The panic attacks went away and I was able to feel a sense of relaxation again. Now I am off the Zoloft after a year and feeling much better about. So my advice to you is to just explain to the doctor like I did that you don't want to feel like you are medicated. They do a great job of working around what you want and trying to find you the best medication.
Jen
 
I'm sorry for your terrible loss. My husband started on the wellbutrin about 3 months ago. He has had no noticeable side effects and he feels much better. The world isnt quite so overwhelming. Hes not walking around in a cloud...nor is he loopy. Just not so sad.
 
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