New diagnosis

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susanjean

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
michigan
City
Prudenville
My son in law was just diagnosised in August and I don't know what to say when I talk to my daughter and son in law. I want to be supportive, but don't know how. :?:
 
Hello,

Sorry for this invasion into your family. Glad you found this forum.

From this PALS perspective -

DO acknowledge the ALS (but he's still the guy you knew before diagnoses)
DO listen but resist the urge to try to fix him or citing off the wall "cures"
DO support them with actions- not just words
DO be yourself - love him as you do your daughter

Don't just ask, what can we do? That is too broad a question to pose when people are in crisis- might be better to say "we were thinking of doing such and such- on this or that a day- would that be helpful to you both?" Concrete things- cleaning, meals, babysitting,
vacation getaway gifts, financial assistance etc. will be well received and remembered.

BE an ear. Have a big open heart and, if you can, wear it on your sleeve. It's OK to cry with them and even better still (in my world), to pray for them and with them.

It's not easy for families- it's indeed catastrophic- but ALS is not without its silver linings. There are many. Hopefully, you will discover some of your own, as my family has done.

I wish you the best.
 
Susan, Elaine has given you some excellent ideas. I can't think of anything else to add. If you have anymore questions, don't heitate to ask.
 
Elaine, great advice! Let them know that you love them and are available to help when they need it. Educate yourself regarding ALS. Call your local ALS Association and ask for any information they have on ALS. They are a wealth of information. I'm sorry you have cause to be here.
 
Susan, sorry for your son- in-law's diagnosis but you will find lots of information and support from this forum. Do not hesitate to ask questions. Everyone here has been a big help and support to me.
 
I would suggest just talking them like you always have, as their mother.
 
If you are close by, you could be a huge help with the grandkids (if any). I know someone who's parents moved down the street so they could start driving the kids to all their activities, pick up from school, help with homework etc. As a mom, I was and am filled with guilt about the time spent with my pals that takes away from my children and the activities they wanted to participate in that they couldn't be cause I could not get them there and back. your daughter can not do it all and the kids will lose out. if you can take on some of that burden you and the kids and your daughter and son in law will all win!
 
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