Happy Birthday?

[Barbie]

Today is my sweetie's birthday. We had a family trip to the movies, then his favorite dinner of crab. Saddly, he has paid with coughing and choking for the last 2 hours, and he is exhausted. I did not do a good job of protecting him. the kids were just about having fun and laughing and I could not resist joining them. now I feel guilty for drinking and eating and enjoying myself becuase he is suffering.

I wonder if this is his last birthday...

 

[ottawa girl]

Oh Barbie- you are so hard on yourself. I bet he thoroughly enjoyed the night out with his beautiful family. He likely relished watching you enjoy yourself too. What better gift could he have received? Of course he's exhausted- but it's a "good tired"- if you know what I mean. I hope with all of my heart, that this is NOT his last birthday, but if it is- he had a grand time with those he loves the most.

You know, I think often "oh is this the last time for this or that" and my husband reminds me that all life is fragile- for everyone- not just for the less healthy. It can be anyone's last birthday- anytime.

Glad you had a great time!

 

[WellsRuby]

Well said Elaine. Barbie, you will look back on this and be glad that you did. I was afraid our last trip was to much for my husband but he said no and he was glad he did go and I could tell it was important to him.

 

[cervus]

I'm with Elaine. It's great you all enjoyed tonight. None of us know what our futures hold. All of us here know its not what we hoped or expected. Take care and don't feel bad or guilty. Yasmin.

 

[Compass Rose]

I bet your sweetie loved seeing you and the kids laughing and having fun. It sounds like you did your best to make his birthday happy, and I'm guessing it meant a lot to him. You seem like a wonderful wife and caregiver.

 

[joni51]

Barbie, don't feel guilty because you actually had a good time. I agree with Elaine. You are doing wonderful and everything you can for him.. remember that. Love you

 

[rachelg]

Barbie, my Mark used to love seeing me and the kids laughing and even though he couldnt eat, he liked us eating as normal around him. It sounds like a great day so absolutely no need to feel guilty at all. No one knows what the next year will bring so I say live for the now xx

 

[Barbie]

I sure hope he had a good time--it is hard to tell sometimes. I know he wanted to but being over tired and then coughing is rough. He was up almost all night coughing and phlemy and tossing and turning. ( I am very tired today..) I think he enjoyed himself until the coughing started...of course he really enjoyed my story the next morning--

I was making a second round of matinis for everyone and they were going to be cranberry pomegranite flavored. I mixed it all together, but everyone made a face when they sipped. whoops--I used prune juice instead of cranberry! Only a Cals would do that!

 

[Barbie]

Good Point Elaine--life is fragile and none of us know when ours will be over!

 

[poppy62]

Belated Happy Birthday Wishes from across the pond,
Glad you got some happy times, sending hubby by concorde for some lessons,
our birthdays this month..

 

[momap53]

Sounds like a good time, Barbie! You are such a great CALS! Hope your mini-vacation is still on.

I'll take two prunetinis please.

 

[Tofinodays]

It sounds like a wonderful birthday in spite of the coughing and choking. One thing that has helped me to avoid the "I wonder if..." is to change it to "This is the only birthday/father's day/Christmas" we will have in 2012. It might be a bit of self-delusion but it allows me to focus on the uniqueness, impermanence and significance of that special occasion because it can only be celebrated once given that it is tied to a particular year. Does that make any sense?