Chase_Corin
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2010
- Messages
- 135
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 11/2010
- Country
- CA
- State
- On
- City
- Perth, Ontario
I am stressing somthing fierce.
I am suposed to go to Baltimore this weekend (I am driving from Canada) for the bridal shower of one of my best friends (I am her maid of honour).
What is bothering me is that I have not left for such a long distace since my dad's condition has gotten so bad. He is not able to get out of a chair, feed, cloth, toilet or bath himself in months. He is able to walk with the aid of a walker but that is starting to go too.
Normally I am working only 30 minutes away or I am here at the house helping my mom take care of dad. Mom has fibromyalsia and recently has injured her knee. We have help daily that takes care of batheing dad but mom and I take care of everything else.
This weekend I am going to be 11 hours away in a foreign country and not able to help if they need me. On top of that its their 39th wedding anniversary. There is nothing planned and mom told me not to worry about it but I feel really guilty not being here.
I have tried everything I can think of to make things as easy for them as possible this weekend but I fell that I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown. On top of it all I am taking my mom's car to Baltimore since mine had a blunt encounter with a deer last week. I am leaving them with my rental car but I am not sure that mom could get dad into it if she needed to take him anywhere.
I guess I am feeling everyhting wrapped into one. Guilt both that I have to go to the shower or I would be letting people down and also becaus going to the shower forces me to leave my parents who need me. I am anxious about taking my mom's car and leaving her possibly without a mode of getting my dad around. Nervous about all the ifs ands and buts.
The only thing is that in just over a month I have to do it all again to take part in the wedding.
I really don't know what I am asking or really communicating but I need to say it out loud.
I am suposed to go to Baltimore this weekend (I am driving from Canada) for the bridal shower of one of my best friends (I am her maid of honour).
What is bothering me is that I have not left for such a long distace since my dad's condition has gotten so bad. He is not able to get out of a chair, feed, cloth, toilet or bath himself in months. He is able to walk with the aid of a walker but that is starting to go too.
Normally I am working only 30 minutes away or I am here at the house helping my mom take care of dad. Mom has fibromyalsia and recently has injured her knee. We have help daily that takes care of batheing dad but mom and I take care of everything else.
This weekend I am going to be 11 hours away in a foreign country and not able to help if they need me. On top of that its their 39th wedding anniversary. There is nothing planned and mom told me not to worry about it but I feel really guilty not being here.
I have tried everything I can think of to make things as easy for them as possible this weekend but I fell that I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown. On top of it all I am taking my mom's car to Baltimore since mine had a blunt encounter with a deer last week. I am leaving them with my rental car but I am not sure that mom could get dad into it if she needed to take him anywhere.
I guess I am feeling everyhting wrapped into one. Guilt both that I have to go to the shower or I would be letting people down and also becaus going to the shower forces me to leave my parents who need me. I am anxious about taking my mom's car and leaving her possibly without a mode of getting my dad around. Nervous about all the ifs ands and buts.
The only thing is that in just over a month I have to do it all again to take part in the wedding.
I really don't know what I am asking or really communicating but I need to say it out loud.