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ruthiep

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
174
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
01/2011
Country
US
State
AL
City
Enterprise
Well, I guess it’s just one more change that I should’ve anticipated with this damn disease....career changes. I had to interview for a teaching position at the local community college yesterday, uggghhh! After what seems like a million conversations, Scott and I finally decided it’s time for me to quit practicing law with my firm and get a little closer to home! Granted a 35-mile commute each way is not bad, but we both realize the practicality of things. My hubs has great health insurance, however the reality is that when he goes on Social Security our grandson and I are gonna have our butts hanging out in the wind unless we wanna shell out $1,500 plus a month (or more) for health insurance—not to mention that at some point in the future I’m gonna need to be closer to home. I have mixed feelings about the new job possibility (mostly negative). I know what I need to do for “us” but the selfish side of me is really rebelling! Guess I’ll have to put on my big girl drawers if the door opens for us!

Okay, my vent for the evening is over! Think I’ll go enjoy a little Christmas music and keep working on my Christmas stuff while Hubs and the grandson are peacefully snoozing! Keeping all of ya’ll in my thoughts and prayers!

Ruth
 
I know how you feel. The change belongs to everyone, not just our pals. Let us hope that the working windows presenting themselves to you are things that will become your new favourite things. Maybe the negative vibes are coming from the world of the unknown and as soon as you get your feet wet you will even like where you can go. Who knows what the universe will offer up to you. You may find that you are a natural teacher and you may have a student or two connect and that will be all you need to feel encouraged and appreciated.
I am glad for the opportunity that has opened for you, not many have options come along. I hope you get the green light!
Hang in there kiddo, I think the ride has more surprises ahead of the next turn.

Juliette
 
So sorry. So many losses and not just for the PALS. We're all struggling with these changes. Hope you can find the blessings behind this one soon. Good luck to you in the new career.
 
I understand completely. We all make choices and sacrifices and hope that they will work at for our families. I worked in the school system for my entire career and this is the first semester I haven't been in a school for my entire life. I miss the kids and my friends but I know my place is at home caring for my husband as long as he can hang in here.
 
Ruth, hang in there like we know you will, and rant away when you need too.
 
Hello, I am new here and have only posted one other time, but this post relates to me so much. I have a good job, good pay, great beneifts, retirement, etc. The job requires that I travel most of the time. I am currently out on FMLA, but have determined that I won't be going back. I am 58 years old. I am scared and frightened that I won't be able to find another job that is even nearly comparable. As long as my husband is still able to work, I can be on his insurace, but what happens when he goes on disability?! It is a burden that I mostly bear to myself, as there are enough other things to worry about, but it causes me depression and stress. My dear mother would have said to me, " Don't borrow worry until it's due time" or, " Don't cross that bridge before you get to it"...which are both wise bits of advise.....but I just wanted to let you know that I certainly can relate with your dilemma. I feels good to me to know that I am not alone....
 
I hesitate to answer, but I want to tell y'all the reality. I had a great career, but put it aside to adopt our son and raise him til I could go back to work when he went to school. My husband was diagnosed as I was beginning my search for a job. The diagnosis put a screeching halt on my job hunt when they told me my husband would die in 2-5. Then my mother needed help after a stint in a nursing home and she paid me to be her caregiver (she had no one else to help her and my husband could still manage on his own). A "friend" hired me thereafter. That lasted about 3 months, as the stress of still checking on my mother and dealing with situations at home grew to be too much. I now have no health insurance and thankfully my son qualifies for children's insurance through the state.

I say all that to express that if you can still work and somehow afford to hire care til it's time for hospice---GO FOR IT! Nobody wants to hire "older" workers, especially after they haven't worked in any sort of while. That's the way it is. Not right, but you know what I mean! You NEED to have the health insurance and that is not a selfish thing!

MZ, if your husband makes too much with any disability, you will not qualify for any state/federal insurance. So, think long and hard about your decision. You may want to look into caregiver pay in your state. Seems that I remember OR as one of the states that will pay a spouse to care for their disabled loved one. That might afford you money for insurance.
 
brooksea
Thank you for your honest response. I have been feeling stressed looking in the future as to what I need to do when my husband is no longer able to take care of himself. I hold a VP position and have extremely good benefits. My husband is on my medical plan (we pay $30 for his Rilutek) and I am extremely concerned what will happen to us if I leave my position. I have been in the business environment for 30 years and I cannot agree with you more, after the age of 50 (I'm 59) it gets increasingly harder to find jobs especially if you are female. It's not that I don't love my husband, I do with all of my heart and I shed many of tears thinking about loosing him. I want him to have the best care available. I was concerned people would think I did not love my husband or did not want to spend time with him if I did not quit my job. With your comments you pointed out the reality, I have to make sure whatever decision I make I take into consideration short term as well as long term what is best not only for my husband but for me also.
 
I know the commute is time consuming but will another job be as understanding as this one. Maybe hang in there if you can, just for the insurance, then the 6 month family leave act. Good luck
 
As an aside, I have insurance with family coverage that I took into retirement or I would not have left the school system.
 
No one will think any less of you for not quitting your job. Anyone who does is not your friend. My husband is still working. My sister in law. And my mother in law as well as my dad. All take care of me while my husband works. He keeps his sanity. And we still have lots of time together
 
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