Things That Would Have Been Nice To Know

[Jason's Dream]

Thought this would be a nice thread to start. Since I am learning everything the hard way. I thought people might like to know things that would have been nice to have known, were I told to begin with, I might have made different decisions, or done things differently.

1.) REP Payee for Social Security and making a REP Payee account for Direct Deposit.

~ In order for SS to talk to you about your PALS Disability, SSi, Medicare.. they require you to be the REP Payee. They do not recognize a PoA, as that is a State document, and they are a Federal Institution.

~ In becoming a REP Payee, they then will require you to be have a bank account noted as a REP Payee Account.

~ A REP Payee Account, is not a joint account. It is an account specifically for "The Benefit of the PALS". It is thier account, and you are noted as the one making the decisions, but it is not your account.

~ When a PALS dies, and you take a death certificate to the bank to remove thier name off of that account. Know that they will place a "Death Hold" of 45 days on that account. Once that period of time is up, they will release those funds to thier estate or to next of kin and then that account will close because the "Beneficiary" is deceased. That being said, if you open up a new account, and have them transfer the funds, then hand them the death certificate, then in essense the account will be closed and you will not have to wait to have those funds to take care of your family.

2.) Survivor Benefits and "Death Payment".

~ Not everyone receives Survivors Benefits and Death Payment. Look at the Social Security website for more explanation on that.

~ "Death Payment" is a one time thing of $255.00. That is hard to accept, considering the average cost of a funeral is $8,000-$10,000 (not including head stone which roughly range between $5,000 - $7,000).

~ The max that you can get for you and your children is: $1348.00 per month. $674.00 for you and $674.00 will be split between however many children you have.

~ With Survivor's Benefits, you will need your own personal account, and then a REP Payee account for per each child, as you will be a REP Payee to each minor child.

~ After a year, you will be audited.

~ If you think you will earn more then $14,000ish for the year, you need to notify SS before you go over that certain amount, so they can split the $674.00 you would normally get between your children, or else they will subtract that amount from your check. This way, you will not lose any of that money.

~ As the remaining spouse you will be paid Survivor's benefits up until your child(s) will turn 16.

~ Your child will be paid Survivor's benefits until the age of 18, or some exceptions tied in with schooling.

3.) Bank Accounts

~ If you have a joint bank account, then when a spouse dies, it automatically goes to the remaining spouse with no holds put on the account.

~ If you close a bank account, if you have anything that was "Direct Withdrawl", they can still withdrawl from that closed account and screw up your account. So call and stop or change that to the different account before closing that bank account.

4.) Hospice

~ Most will provide 13 months grief counseling to the immediate family after your PALs has passed.

~ Most nurses and nurse aids can not stay for long periods of time when your PALs is in the process of passing.

~ They will empty all meds of the house right after your PALs passes.

5.) Losing a Spouse

~ I'd give anything to be that 24/7 caregiver again.

~ You lose your identity, and your sense of purpose.

 

[tammyg]

You poor thing. Have you gotten any rest.? It is 2 am here and like 1 where you are. Losing 2 family members in 2 weeks is enough for anyone to go through. We all the know terrible rd you went down with your hubby, then his dad, being a caregiver and being a mom, ect...I cannot believe some of the stuff you had to go through. That was so nice for you to inform others. Emotionally I know you need a break with none in sight. Then to have to go through all the red tape is BS. So many people are clueless about ALS. ALot of them are in the medical industry. Take a hot bath and you deserve a couple glasses of wine, make that 3 glasses. I was really glad to see your post, been thinking about you....

 

[Tom's Support]

Thanks for starting the thinking ball again. Just going into the bank today to rearrange mortgage etc. and taking Tom with me. He has never had the ability to cope with bankng, mortgage and pending debt. Now that the huge line of credit debt has hit the wall and something must be done he has finally shared in the sleepless, nauseating nights that I have endured alone for the past 3 years. I am not happy to do this to him, but really, he holds all the savings in his own name and so, I hold all the debt in my own name. We've been married for 23 years and I have allowed him to behave like it is not true.
As the day of reckoning dawns I now have more cautions to guide me through it.
Hey Tammy -- more with the wine? Good advise still and all.

 

[retiredmus2010]

Hy heart grieves for you. Many of us on here, are so grateful that you share your information. We will UNFORTUNATELY be joining this hateful little ALS club and get to experience some of the things you share in your narratives. May our God who covers all of us in prayer, hold you and your family IN HIS HANDS.

 

[Miss]

Hi Becca,

The first few weeks after Terry died are a blur. It is so hard to start all of the balls rolling. You are sweet to start putting things in writing so others will have a better understanding of what is happening when the time comes.

A quick heads up. If the Soc. Sec Administration, VA or any other government agency feels that made an error in any amount they gave you, they can debit from your account for up to 1 year. I would advise keeping a daily watch on your accounts to make sure that doesn't happen. I was not required to open up the special accounts you were. SS just deposited checks for my husband and son into my checking account.

The year end audit is very easy. Just make sure you put a zero in the space that asks about funds left over. (Like there would be any!) The amount your children/family gets is totally dependent on how much money your spouse earned and paid into the system. In some cases, a person or child will get far more than $1350 a month and in some cases, far less. You can see how much that amount is on the yearly statement sent.

The children's payment will continue until they reach 18 or graduate from high school, which ever occurs later. My son turns 18 the summer before his senior year, so I will be paid on his behalf until his graduation day.

This could potentially be a very good site. I had prepared for the inevitible. I had a book with sections - Soc. Sec., VA, Life Ins., Debts, etc. I was able to turn it over to someone I had preselected, so all of that paperwork was started the week Terry died. Even with all of the preplanning, I missed a few things.

 

[Felica]

My husband and I have poa on each other. Thank you so much for the heads up about ss. I told him and we are going to the ss office Monday to make him payee. Becca You are an angel. Stil thinking about the rest of us. With everything you are going through. My heart goes out to you and all the cals who have to go on after us.

 

[Katie C]

A year and a half later and I'm still comig across something now and again that I thought I'd covered or didn't even think of. Take advantage of the counselling,it will help.

 

[wheeler641]

becca, i think you are wrong about having to have a seperate account if you are the rep payee. I am the rep payee for my 2 grandchilden and their checks are just deposited in my regular checking account and they do not audit you at the end of the year just send you a simple representativee report which takes about 2 minutes to fill out and they do not ask what you spent it on just if you saved anything or spent it. Also the max per family is around 3200.00 per month per family but again that depends on how many credits you have paid in prior to filing for disability, so if could be less depending on how many credits were paid in, hope this helps a little. If you have any more questions on S.s just ask, i am pretty knowledgeable on this subject, margaret

 

[joni51]

Since bruce and I don't have small kids that would draw off of him, Do I need to check into this, I have POA

 

[JennB329]

Becca -
I applaud your effort to help people who will eventually be walking in the shoes I've been (with my dad) in and that you are now in have so recently lost Jason. I only have one correction...

"5.) Losing a Spouse ~ You lose your identity, and your sense of purpose."

Dear Becca, please don't think you've lost your identity or your sense of purpose. You are down but you are not out. On Dad's birthday (7 months after he died), my mom and I went sky diving. My first words upon reaching the ground (besides "wooooo hooooo") were, "it definitely reminds you that you're alive!" Mom and I both have decided to become as involved as we can be in raising awareness and money and lending support to anyone who needs it through the difficult times ahead of them. We decided that if we don't do anything with the knowledge and compassion that we gained on our journey with Dad, then we would spend the rest of our lives saying, "poor us - look what we lost." That is not how I want to spend the rest of my days and I know it's not how Dad would have wanted me to go on.

Consciously or not, you've made the same decision. Sharing your knowledge is part of your purpose. Another part of your purpose is to live. In my dad's eulogy, I wrote, "sometimes letting go isn't weakness, it's freedom." I know it seems difficult to enjoy even a single moment when you know that Jason no longer can. But Becca, Jason is free. I'm not telling you not to grieve... it's been almost a year since we lost my dad and I still grieve EVERY DAY, but I also live EVERY DAY. Continue to build strong memories with your kids and know that Jason lives on in them AND in you.

Let that be your purpose... LIVE so that he can live on in you.

Jennifer

 

[Miss]

Again, family maximum and per child figures for social security are based on previous income and the amount paid in by the worker. Wheeler 641, some family monthly maximums will be higher than $3200 (over $4500 if the wage earner had income over $100,000 for a number of years) and many families will be less since the average wage in the US was $41,000 in 2010. It depends on what the worker paid into the system.

Like you, wheeler 641, I have not had a separate account either - not when my husband was alive, and not now. My son's benefit goes into my account.

 

[Pandora]

i will add one thing, remember to place a "freeze" or "fruad watch" on their ss number with all 3 credit agencys. People read the obitz and try to get what they can b4 all the ink is sealed on teh final paperwork.

 

[Georgia Peach]

OK. Now I'm a little concerned about our finances. Will our joint checking and savings accounts be frozen when my husband passes?

 

[Barbie]

This is an excellent excellent thread-- thanks Becca! I think we all have so many questions about protecting ourselves and familes after the death of our pals, and sometimes we feel embarrassed to ask questions because we don't want to seem "greedy".

Becca--Please remember you do have purpose--your children are your future and they want and need you. It is dark now, but there will be a dawn again for you...

Miss--I would like to hear more about your book that you made-. What did you compile and what did you do? I have a fear of being overwhelmed at the time and it would be great to prepare.

Katie--what kinds of things did you overlook?

Pandora--good advice on the credit agencies.

Here's my question--I didn't work for a very long time so my SS is very low but my husband's is very high. (I was a stay home mom and we thought we would retire together ha.) I am confused about if I remarry and me getting his SS. I am in my 40's, and my kids are near the 18 yo cut off. (See- I feel greedy already).

 

[momap53]

A quick call to the bank should alleviate your concerns about the joint accounts. You should have right of survivorship.