He's Thrown Me a Curve Ball!

[brooksea]

So, I've been getting organized, making sure I have a list of his meds/dosages, making sure I have the pertinent couple of docs he sees listed, making sure he doesn't need anything else before I or the doc calls hospice, checking into hospices in our area, etc...

BAM! SIL is in town and she has helped me a couple of days. He wants to go home with her. LOL I don't blame him! I want to go home with her!

I was very upset at first because he really is in bad shape, but this will most likely be the last time he will be able to go. He really shouldn't go now, but she is willing to take it on, so I will just let things be. :-( She told me she looked at it as her gift to him and she was able to do it.

I think he just wants to travel one last time before he thinks he has been "relegated" to hospice. He just can't get it through his head that he can go off hospice and hospice doesn't mean he will be gone in 3-6 months!

SIL has come a long way from half eaten birthday cake to respite care! :shock:

 

[ruthiep]

No amazing words of wisdom....just thinking about you and sending loads of hugs your way! Personally, as hard it may be....let him go! Allow your SIL and hubs that special time together. Great time for you and your son to relax and regroup together--ya'll have been through so much difficulty of late! Maybe ya'll can take a day or two to enjoy some special moments that help heal some of the angst ya'll are having to go through! Again, thoughts and hugs being sent your way!

Ruth

 

[Ms. Pie]

Me too, loads of hugs to you. Believe it or not I learn a lot from you CALS and admire you very much. I can see how difficult it is for you.
Love and admiration,
Marta

 

[pmbenb83]

Oh CJ,
Wow, this is another hard one for you. When are you going to catch a break? How long will he be gone and how far away will he be? I guess you just have to go with the flow, like you have been doing from day one. Keep your phone nearby and "try" to relax and enjoy time with your son.

As always you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[Shane the Pain]

Hey Brooksea,

From my perspective, I would encourage you to enjoy the time off !

I'm working on a plan to give my wife and kids time off from me....
I'll let you know how it goes.

Fight on,
Shane the Pain

 

[brooksea]

Well, he's off! It took my SIL and I over 2 1/2 hours to load everything in the UHAUL and SUV. We borrowed ramps for the PWC, but they had slats and the wheels got stuck (like I tried to explain would happen to both SIL and husband!). We noodled the situation over and decided to back the UHAUL up to a slope in the yard. I pulled an interior door that had come off the bathroom remodel to use as a ramp. That worked great! We secured the chair and loaded everything else. As usual, my husband decided he needed more things after we got everything loaded. I had to keep adding to my list, all the things he was taking. If I don't list it, I will never know if it came back. They are both so scatter brained.

While we were loading the last bit, the WWII vet came by and asked if she was leaving in the morning. She told him they were leaving right then, as it takes too much to get him ready for bed to unload the stuff we packed just for that occasion.

I'm a little worried, but hope he is able to enjoy himself. He told me he wouldn't do anything stupid, but his definition and mine differ greatly in that respect! :roll:

 

[momap53]

CJ, Best of luck to you! Sounds like packing him up was quite the ordeal. Hope they have a grand time and that you and your son can spend some time relaxing. (Easier said than done, I know) God bless.

 

[joni51]

CJ you need a break! I agree with Deb spend some one on one time with your son and try to enjoy and not worry. I am going to give you some advice, when my son's dad was so sick, everything was about him, as all caregivers know, when his dad passed away, he was resentful because he felt like I neglected him when I was always seeing about things for his dad. It is hard I know, but just for a little while, forget about as much as you can and enjoy your son. HUGS to you..

 

[jwife]

CJ, if you ask me he has already done something stupid. He can't get better care somewhere else. Do you suppose there might just be some dementia going on here? Like the others have said, "Take this time for yourself! Try to focus on YOU for a change. And try NOT to worry about him. Thinking about you...
Janis

 

[LauraW]

Wow, CJ. Sorry, I haven't been on in awhile. A huge change for you. Enjoy the time off and breathe......I am sure things will be back to "normal" soon so take the time as a blessing!

 

[grandmommyk]

I believe you did the right thing, but gosh it must be hard. I hope you and your son are able to enjoy the time alone, although I kind of feel that it may be shorter than your husband first planned. Obviously neither of them realize how hard your job is or how much you do. It does sound like he can still talk. That will be a big help anyways.

 

[Katie C]

CJ... so how are things going?

 

[kmendsley]

Hm well at least you get a little break! But that of course doesn't mean you won't be worry free while he is away. Sometimes, we just all need a little time apart...even from the ones we love...as the saying goes...your heart grows fonder the time they are away...or something to that affect.

Try to enjoy the time...he will be back soon enough wanting that wonderful list to be checked off to make sure that none of his things have been forgotten

 

[brooksea]

Well, today the water was turned off when I had a load of clothes in the washer and I was taking a shower! I was really pissed at the time, but now it's funny. Not... He pays the bills online and I discussed the bill situation with him before he left. It was my understanding it was business as usual in that he had it under control. He keeps changing the passwords to every online account and I cannot access most of them, most of the time. I don't know why he does that. I think I will have to take over, as this is not the first time this kind of thing has happened.

 

[brooksea]

Dang it! My post went to moderation!