Jason's Dream
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2010
- Messages
- 310
- Country
- US
- State
- As Usual
- City
- On My Own
I am soo tired of people saying things like "I am such a strong women", putting me up on a pedestal, or people talking down to me in thier speech to me, calling me "Little One", "Child", and Kid. I am not strong, I am human, and have a hard time, ups and downs like anyone else. I am nothing special, I am just true to my words and vows. Doesn't mean that this crap isn't getting to me, that I am not crumbling inside and having a hard time. You've never spent the time to ask or be there to support me. I am not a child, a kid, or a little one. I am going through some life experiences and am facing things you have not (in your old age) have had to face, I am dealing with things most people my age aren't, and I think my life experiences and what I am going through deserve enough respect, to not belittle me by calling me a child. Its offensive to me, and feels like it trivializes my life experiences or what I am going through.
Right now, I am done with most people in general. If you only want to set and watch the crap I am going through (like a spectator) and not be there for us, or help us in any way, then I am done. We are not a side show, or a "thank G*^ we're not them". We are human beings, with human feelings, and I am soo sick and tired of feeling on display and like a side show circus. I am tired of people saying they are here for me, and if I want to talk, blah blah blah.. then when you take them at thier word, they scatter away like cockroaches when a light is turned on.
I am tired, exhausted, and needing someone to be there for me. This is hard shit to go through and I have my moments when I need a TRUE FRIEND. Someone that won't blow shit up my ass, put me on a pedestal, and say platitudes of "it'll get better", "we're here for you", etc. Put your money where your mouth is, and tell it like it is. People say they are "praying for you", or "don't know how you do it", or "you're a strong woman".. when they don't know what to say and are scared to say the truth. We got dealt a crappy hand, this sucks, and its okay to have a crappy day, and freaking be there for me.
I am tired of people pushing thier religion on me, telling me a nice "wishful thought" of, we will be reunited again, etc...Lets be real people, all I know is what I see. I see people live, people die. Some people get dealt better hands then others, but elsewise, I haven't seen evidance of an afterlife, not that its not a nice thought, but I don't know any of that, and to have pushy nurse aides singing old-timey souther gospel "heaven" songs, without even knowing us.. its a bit put-offish, and gets me mad.
Sorry about this rant, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my real life anymore, without pushing more people away. They say they are there for me, and are here whenever I want to talk etc, and when I take them up on thier word.. they scatter to the wind. I am tired of platitudes, and fair-weather friends.
I am tired of this holding pattern. I am tired of hurting.
Okay, rant over.
Sorry if this if this is offensive to anyone, just needed to scream, and no where to scream.
Right now, I am done with most people in general. If you only want to set and watch the crap I am going through (like a spectator) and not be there for us, or help us in any way, then I am done. We are not a side show, or a "thank G*^ we're not them". We are human beings, with human feelings, and I am soo sick and tired of feeling on display and like a side show circus. I am tired of people saying they are here for me, and if I want to talk, blah blah blah.. then when you take them at thier word, they scatter away like cockroaches when a light is turned on.
I am tired, exhausted, and needing someone to be there for me. This is hard shit to go through and I have my moments when I need a TRUE FRIEND. Someone that won't blow shit up my ass, put me on a pedestal, and say platitudes of "it'll get better", "we're here for you", etc. Put your money where your mouth is, and tell it like it is. People say they are "praying for you", or "don't know how you do it", or "you're a strong woman".. when they don't know what to say and are scared to say the truth. We got dealt a crappy hand, this sucks, and its okay to have a crappy day, and freaking be there for me.
I am tired of people pushing thier religion on me, telling me a nice "wishful thought" of, we will be reunited again, etc...Lets be real people, all I know is what I see. I see people live, people die. Some people get dealt better hands then others, but elsewise, I haven't seen evidance of an afterlife, not that its not a nice thought, but I don't know any of that, and to have pushy nurse aides singing old-timey souther gospel "heaven" songs, without even knowing us.. its a bit put-offish, and gets me mad.
Sorry about this rant, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my real life anymore, without pushing more people away. They say they are there for me, and are here whenever I want to talk etc, and when I take them up on thier word.. they scatter to the wind. I am tired of platitudes, and fair-weather friends.
I am tired of this holding pattern. I am tired of hurting.
Okay, rant over.
Sorry if this if this is offensive to anyone, just needed to scream, and no where to scream.