Having A Hard Day

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Jason's Dream

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On My Own
Today I am really struggling. Today we started the process of switching hospice agencies. So today we said good bye to two very dear people to us. We got them a basket of goodies. A gift soup in a jar, pictures of our family, a bag of popcorn, some movie candies, and a movie rental gift card, and 2 gift cards to the movie theatres and to a nice restaraunt for them and thier sweethearts to have dates and enjoy some special time together. Much tears were shed by Jason's nurse and nurse aide, as well as Jason and I. I ordered tickets to a concert at the university where we met just 6 years ago. Such a short time for a life time of experiences. Then it hit me, this will probably be our last concert together. My emotions are shot and all I can do right now is cry. :(
 
I am so sorry, I share your tears and will be praying for you both...((((GREAT BIG HUGS))))))
 
Oof! That is brutal, Becca.

I'd like to say try not to think about it - but that is easier said than done.

As much as I am sure you cherish your alone time with Jason, you might consider a double date. I find that my wife and I don't dwell on things when others are around and it is easier to enjoy the moment.

I don't know.
 
I am so sorry you are having such a rough time today. I pray tomorrow will be better.
 
I am sorry you have to make this switch. It is so kind of you to recognize the contributions these people have made. I don't know if I could stop and be so thoughtful if I were in your position. (Jason is blessed to have you by his side.) If it will be too painful for you to update these people yourself, I hope you have someone who will do that for you. I'm sure they will want to know how you and Jason are doing.

I hope the transition is as smooth as possible and is ultimately for the best.
 
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Thoughts and hugs sent your way. We all feel for you.
 
Wow! How very thoughtful of you! I'm sure they appreciated your efforts to make them feel appreciated!

Glad you can still take in a concert together.

Hugs to you!
 
Thinking of you.

Some days I feel stronger, sometimes I can cry over nothing.

We moved into a new house on the 3rd of the month and on Monday I locked my husband, the dog and myself out of the house in the back yard. He was in the power chair. No garage door opener, no hidden keys. My wonderful new neighbors helped me get into the house from a side window, needless to say, if it was that easy to get in, we need a security system. Signed the contract yesterday.
 
God Bless you for being so thoughtful of them when you have so much on your plate already. You truly are a kind soul!
 
Aw Becca. Hope today is better.
 
Dearest Becca, Big warm hugs to you and Jason. That was very thoughtful of you to say goodbye to your helpers in such a loving way. I'm sorry you're sad. Try to enjoy each day and experience togehter rather than thinking of the future. Everything is backwards now, I know.
Life is good.
Love to you,
Marta
 
Hopefully you will enjoy the concert that much more, knowing it is your last time. Most people drift through life without stopping to fully appreciate each experience. I remember my last ski run, a few months after I was diagnosed. I've never felt more alive.
 
I'll write more about the switch of hospice agencies, which have been a pain.

Right now, within the last 48 hours, we have been in a "crisis" situation. Jason became fully impacted. When we got his body to start the process of emptying the contents, he went into shock. His eyes bulged out, his lips and hands turned blue, his body became rigid, he was foaming at the mouth, hyperventilating, he was freaking out. The scariest thing I have ever saw! Broke my heart. The nurse was here last night for over 5 hours, helping with the impaction. She bumped his O2 from 2 liters to 4 liters. We had two fans on him, as he had sweat from head to toe through his sheets. And we gave him several doses of atavan. He has slept most of today and hasn't ate at all, and now has double vision. More atavan. Tomorrow the nurse comes back out.

What a truelly stressful, emotional weekend. :(
 
Hang in there thinking of you and DH...
 
Hope things are better this morning.
 
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