mysticunicorn66
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2008
- Messages
- 242
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- US
- State
- MD
- City
- Allegany County
Having a need to vent and thought just maybe some of you could offer some suggestions. I am the youngest of three children. My older sister has ALS. We have a brother who is the oldest of the three of us. Our brother was with us when we got the diagnosis from the doctor. I am sis's POA and caregiver for the duties that require more lifting, etc. I live 20 minutes away. My brother lives next door to sis (who lives with our Dad). The problem I am having is that my brother seems to be walking around with blinders on. I came after work to check on sis and tend to her personal care, only to find her crying and upset. I found out that my brother, in his infinite wisdom, thought it necessary to give sis a lecture on fiber, eating, drinking, etc. Told her she needed to eat more fiber, drink more water, etc. I about went ballistic on him. I marched over next door and tried to explain to him what is happening with sis, but he keeps butting heads with me and saying that she just needs to drink more. I spoke to his younger daughter (she is twenty-eight)). She told me that her Dad is in denial to the fact that sis is getting worse and has a terminal condition. He was telling me about some amino acid that regrows nerves? I told him, yet again, that while there are some promising studies, at this point there is no cure for ALS. I told him that I didn't have a magic wand to wave over her to make this all go away. If that would have done it, I would have done this long ago because it breaks my heart when she is in so much pain that I can't keep her from screaming. My brother just goes on like everything is fine. He went on a vacation to the beach for almost two weeks. Not once did he call to check to see how things were. When he came back, he never even came over to see her until 3 days later! I just cannot fathom how he can do this. The two of them are only 3 years apart. I am way younger than they are (sis is 9 years older, and my brother is 13 years older). Just makes me upset that he walks around like nothing is wrong, while I have been taking care of everything else at this point, except feeding her and emptying her cath bag--which is the only things my Dad can do to help as he is not in real good shape himself.