Help needed: Home Health Attendant

[retiredmus2010]

Hello everyone,

Each day in this experience with ALS brings me to a new learning curve. Today, I am in need of sage advice from all of you who have gone before me.

We are in the need of a home health attendant. This would be a two-fold accommodation. My husband needs the care and I need the mental, emotional, physical relief.

Question: I have been given a name so actually moral compass and credibility is not an issue here. What is the issue you ask? I would need this person to assist in the grooming, bathing and dressing of my husband. What other items should I ask of this person? What questions should I bring to the table of him? Again, I say to you: "HELP." ! :?:

 

[Katie C]

Is this someone you are hiring privately? If so, I would run a background check (pretty easy to do online these days) I would probably want some knowledge of why he/she go into the work to begin with. Our home health aide was provided through hospice. He did exactly what you listed: shower, toothbrushing, trimmed his beard once a week, kept his nails trimmed, etc. He was kind of an odd little man but he was able to put up with Glen's personality quirks with energy and good humor. Again, if you are hiring this person privately, I would also ask for references and follow up on them.

 

[Ms. Pie]

Contact your local ALSA. They can refer someone to you.

 

[KKay]

It sounds like you have been given the name of someone you trust who provides home care to people. That being vetted out my suggestion is to first talk to your husband. Ask him what he is willing to have this person do for him. I will tell you from personal experience; a home health attendent may be there for your agenda, but when push comes to shove it is what your husband is willing for this person to do for him. I suggest you accept that and work around it. Then have a list of things they can do with the rest of their time: laundry (folding, ironing), straighten up, make beds, wipe down the bathroom, sweep, vacuum, do the dishes - unload & reload the dishwasher etc. That way, if your husband still insists that you do the more personal things for him at least someone is taking a load off somewhere else. Go over this with the person coming in and see if they are willing to work in your arrangement, many home health attendants want to sit on their ass and take a nap. Although, after two years of trial and error I am quite grateful for the people who come into our home for 8 hours a week to help my husband and me. And I can leave without a worry in my head (but I still have my cell phone! LOL!).

 

[Lobster]

Here are questions I have asked:

Have you ever actually...

brushed another person's teeth? (Follow-Up question EACH question: Exactly who?)

wiped another person after using the toilet?

washed another person's hair?

helped care for a terminally ill person?

What was the most challenging thing about your last position?

Exactly what days and hours are you available?

 

[Miss]

Depending on the number of hours the caregiver will be there, do you need her to feed him, light cleaning around the house, etc. I know that the CNA that helped me every morning went to another fellows house and was bored to death. Talk to her about that. Does she mind sitting with him and reading a book while he watches TV. Will she take him for a walk when the weather cools off. It depends on how much time you want her to spend with him.

 

[retiredmus2010]

Thank you, yes. This name has come from someone who has used him. No worries about a background check. This was the advice I wanted. from you wonderful people out there. He also sounds (from 2 phone conversations) to be highly motivated; hoping laziness is not an issue. I really appreciate your thoughts about other chores. Actually, my husband today, after seeing the exhaustion in my face, told me it was time to call this person. However, as you say (write) it will ultimately be what my husband ALLOWS this man to do for him.

 

[retiredmus2010]

Perfect LOBSTER! JUST the things I wanted. THANKING you ever so much.

 

[Atsugi]

VETERANS ADMINISTRATION WILL PAY FOR HHA. They paid for 5 hours daily, M-F and later offered to put someone here on the weekends.

 

[10steps]

be sure you have some type of workmans comp insurance for the person. If he has an accident in your home or while caring for your husband be sure you are covered somehow - even if this person is a friend.
In addition to lobster and others suggestions be sure to let the person know boundaries and what you are comfortable with. I've had an attendent listen in on private phone calls with doctors and then actually bring up a conversation and ask very probing questions. I can tell you she was extremely inappropriate because we are dealing with end of life issues.

 

[retiredmus2010]

10steps: I am so sorry that you had to deal with such unacceptable behavior. I am thanking you for the heads up! I would not have thought about the possibility of that one. I guess nothing should surprise me anymore! Yikes... You all are wonderful for all of this brainstorming! Sometimes I think my own brain has gone south....overload.
You are caring for someone who was diagnosed in April 2010 and that is when my husband was diagnosed as well.
Maybe we will need to PM each other, if you would want?
G

 

[Lobster]

I've had an attendent listen in on private phone calls with doctors and then actually bring up a conversation and ask very probing questions.

Oh good Lord, don't even let me start on this issue!

I am going to log off right now Before I start ranting about a past caregiver.

 

[Gentleman Jim]

Hello, used to work for the F.B.I.. Farm Bureau Insurance

If you hire a person to put a roof on your home, they should have there own ins. however, if they
are hurt while performing that work your home owners has what is called Contingent workmans
comp. Check with your Ins. agent, to be sure.

So many things have changed over the years, They have even changed lovers lane in to sex drive.

Jim

 

[retiredmus2010]

Thanks, FBI MAN!
G.

 

[mysticunicorn66]

I would definitely ask if the person is familiar with caring for a person who is paralyzed. Lesson I learned the hard way. I assumed (yes I know I shouldn't have), that the agency based caregivers had a clue about how to care for my sister. I even specifically told the director of the organization that my sis has ALS. I explained the affects that it is having on my sis. I explained what I needed them to do for sis. I also explained to the director that I needed TWO people for the time period to do this job. After I covered all of this with the director, I asked if there was anything in the description of the nature of the work that they would have to do that she felt they could NOT do, which she responded that they could handle all of it. However, when I got to sis's immediately after work, I found not only did one caregiver get dispatched to do the job of two people, but that the lady had my elderly father helping her move my sister. My Dad of course helped, but shouldn't have because the rotator cuff in each shoulder is completely torn. Then, I ended up having to care both for Dad and my sister. Needless to say, I looked for other caregivers.