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LauraW

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
421
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
09/2008
Country
US
State
New York
City
Fishkill
Oh man, I just need to vent. I know I need to be thankful and grateful for every day and I am really. And I am so grateful for the help I have already gotten...thank you Stu! But.....so the office of the aging has decided that they want to help keep seniors in their homes as opposed to a nursing home...so they want to help caregivers do this. Great! Thanks! So i call...give her my whole story. She tells me they can pay for someone to come in for 6 hours a week to "GIVE ME A BREAK". She says she knows it isn't much but I am thinking "thank you sooooo much. it IS a lot to me". THEN she tells me that this person can only do personal care so I will have to be in the house while she is here because she can't have anything to do with the vent or the feeding tube. So much for the help.........if my husband and I don't get out soon I am going to shoot myself (just kidding of course). I can get some help from my sister in law....and hear about how she helped us instead of doing "her" stuff for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just want to run away...anyone else feel like that? Really...I would go to the ocean (alone) and just sit on the beach and watch and listen to and smell the water! I am already there in my mind. Thanks for listening! I can't talk to anyone else. Now I have to put on a smile and see how Mom is doing after the horrible messy bowel movement a little bit ago. It was so bad that I had to change my clothes too. Ugggggg!
 
Hey Laura .... welcome to my world. Or me welcome to yours ... ditto same here, identically the same. no help, can get an aide but no such luck in even getting that even after they said they would. I think I am saving them close to $700,000 a year, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but gzz just a little help would be a great deal.
You know I read an article a while back where a woman I think in Maine finally sued and got the amount a nursing home would get to pay for people to come in. I'm going to try to find that, you and I need her advice.
 
I always say Help is a four letter word mispelled
 
I hope god saves a special place in heaven for Cals. You've earned it.
 
Yeah, I sometimes wanted to run away, especially when I was just full up and worn out. I do hope you get a break soon. they sometimes make the difference between being able to go on or not. Sending hugs and virtual support.
 
Me too. I do too. God bless the loving CALS. I mean it with all my heart.
 
Laura- your feelings are not abnormal. It's not easy doing what we do as CALS. hang in there!
 
Laura - I truly sympathize. We are not in a position to need outside help yet, but I am not looking forward to it.

I am blessed with a loving and supportive family. I know that in a heart beat my in laws and my family will help in anyway they can. i think in a way, it is brought us closer together.

Wishing you all the best and I hope you get a break and a little relief too.
Love and light
Meg
 
Laura, can I go with you to the ocean? I know how you feel! Sending you hugs and hoping tomorrow is a better day...
 
I feel for you. Some "help" just makes things worse. I am far from a control freak, however I prefer the chaos that I know than the chaos that is put upon me.
 
Thanks, everyone! This is really the only place where I know for sure that people understand me. I wish we could all go to the beach together and just sit!
 
You certainly have been in this for a lot longer than I have, so I can really feel for you. I have been a stay-at-home mom for 15 years, and I've had one day off in that time. Now, with my BIL, I can go shopping, running all of his errands, too, but that's about it. Oh, and the kids are with me, too, so it's not like it a break. I'm totally all in for a beach trip.
 
I forgot to add the people who say, completely sympathetically and sincerely, "You really could use a break." I seriously want to choke those people.
 
Party at the ocean? Seriously, who knew that we got a trip to the ocean when we became caregivers? I would have signed up earlier! When do we leave?
 
Eww I want to go too:0
 
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