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BlueSeattle

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Joined
May 7, 2011
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17
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
WA
City
Seattle area
My wife and I were walking for coffee this morning and she tripped and nearly fell. She doesn't have foot drop but sometimes rolls her ankle when she doesn't concentrate on how she places her foot. She usually just shrugs it off as "Stupid leg!" Today she started to cry and I asked why and she just said "Because my leg didn't support me."

I couldn't think of a thing to say. I rubbed her arm because it was the only thing I could think of to do. What can I say? If someone was sick I'd give words of encouragement like "It'll get better" or I'd crack a joke about how it could be worse to make them smile.... but it's not going to get better, and it will get worse.

I'm at a loss for giving comfort in these situations and I know they're going to be more frequent in the future.
 
You don't have to say anything. Just pick her up and lovingly hug her and let her cry.
 
Not just a hug but a long gentle belly to belly hug.
 
Don't try to fix it either. Just be quiet. xoxo!
 
I agree with Ms. Pie... Words are not always necessary. Just let her know by holding her at those times that you love her and will be supporting her all the way no matter what. Allow her to cry is my advice too. Often times my hub tells me not to cry because it hurts him to witness my discomfort for any reason. But with ALS in the big picture, both partners need to cry together sometimes and comfort each other...especially in the beginning. I told my sis who has ALS that I would cry with her at times, but sometimes I would tell her to get her buttocks up and put on her "big girl panties". It isn't easy for the male to be the caregiver. Always be open to "listen" to her. I know that you will do just fine because just putting this post on this site shows how much you love your wife. I will pray for the both of you. God Bless You Both!
 
There isn't much you can say. I found that when my husband was falling you just help them up and kiss the boo boo's. Your right, it's not going to get better and it will only go down hill, But just love her, and when it get hard love her even harder. Do everything you wanted to do, NOW! Respect her, love her, and let her know that you will be there. When it get down to the wire (where we are now) remeber to keep her modisty, never see her as clinical, and listen. Remember your a husband FIRST, caretaker second. We are all here for you, and this is a great place to find tricks, tips, hits, and FRIENDS who know what it's like. You will get tired, upset, have sleepless nights, worried, and pissed off. This is not a road any of us choose, but we are going down the path with the GPS broken, but the good thing is we can stop and ask for directions. :)
 
Along a diffrent line, have you checked into an afo. My ankle was getting very weak I discribed it like being on short ice skates. I have had an afo for several weeks now and haven't had problems with it since. Just a thought.
 
Hi sweetie, I like your definition of a hug! A real hug as I call them too! lol
 
BlueSeattle, you've gotten great advice. And the fact you cared enough to ask means a lot. Very best wishes for the future, but I think you're going to do just fine.
 
agree with the above... just give her a hug, let her talk or cry or whatever. If you MUST say something, "I'm sorry" is sufficient. Or "I love you".
 
Thanks. My wife prides herself on being independant so I've learned not to try to fix everything though being southern raised it's in my nature to try to take care of everything so sometimes I can't help myself. That said it doesn't make me feel better. I wish so much I could fix everything, have kids, grow old, and just live a "normal" life.

As for the AFO, they look to be more for foot drop in my quick search. Do they really help with ankle support?

Also, I wasn't very clear in my first post. It wasn't food drop that made her trip and it wasn't the ankle that rolled this time, it was that the muscles in her upper leg are starting to give her trouble and this is the first time she's tripped (that I know of) for that reason :-S
 
{{{{{big hugs for you}}}}} :)
 
I had a co worker tell me the other day something similar to your situation...she said 'I don't know what to say' and she just kept repeating it over and over. I felt bad but also relieved because this is the first time someone had been serious and honest with me on how they felt. Even though she felt weird saying she didn't know what to say...it meant the world to me. Oh and hugs are always a good way to go too. Don't say it will be alright when it won't. Just frustrates the PALS person more. My thoughts and prayers with you guys...
 
If her legs are starting to give out--I'd really suggest at least her using a walker. A fall can be very bad. Sounds like you've already got great advice on how to respond....

"your leg might not support you, love; but I always will" might be a good one, too
 
A hug and the fact that you are there to help support is what she needs, sometimes we have to cry and recharge for the next charge of the castle.
 
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