don't know what to do

Status
Not open for further replies.

babygurl

Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2011
Messages
15
Diagnosis
01/2011
Country
US
State
GA
City
Hinesville
My boyfriend told me he has ALS 01/11. He lives in Texas and I live in Georgia but we had made plans prior to his illness for him to move back to Geaorgia so we could get married. When he first told me about ALS, we made adjustments to our plans but agreed to still be together. But now his illness is progressing much quickier than we thought and his doctor is giving him less than a year. I still want to be with him and, help him thru this. But he has gotten to the point, where he doesn't want to be a burden to me. But I don't want him to go thru this alone. Don't know what to do and I cant convince him other wise.
 
babygurl, I am so sorry about your fiance's diagnosis. This disease is such a robber of life. There are no easy answers here. Would he consider counseling, would you? It might help to put things in perspective. I wish you both the best. Hang in there!
 
I am so sorry you are faced with this. I'm sorry your fiance is, too. He will need someone to help him. Does he have family in Texas?
 
so sorry you two are going through this.
if you really mean it and really want to see him through this, all you can really do is keep reassuring him that you WANT to be there to help him. tell him he is not a burden, that the disease may be, but HE is NOT.
show him that you want to be there by helping him as much as you can and as much as he will allow.
but- and this is a big but- please remember to take care of yourself as well. if you do not, you will be no good to him.
good luck with all of this. we all understand here so keep posting and reading and asking questions. thats why we are all here.
 
Boy.. what a tough spot to be in. My only recommendation is to make sure he is where his friends are. He will need them as time moves on. He will also need you. Any idea what you're gonna do?
 
WOW this is so sad, I am so very sorry this has happened to you both :0(
 
I agree with lorna, he needs to be where friends are. That is great that you want to help him and still be with him. Be prepared that the road is long and hard. Everyone progresses at different rates and noone can really say how long you have. My Mom did not want to be vented because she did not want to be a burden to me. I told her that I was going to take care of her no matter what...it wasn't a choice for me. Msake sure he knows that.
 
No don't have any family there in Texas. All of his family is here in GA. I understand his pain and desperatly want to be help him. But he doesn't want to be a burden to me and the kids or his family and he don't want us to watch him suffer.
 
After this semester of school is over I'm going to make a trip for awhile. Stop sure how long I will stay becasue I do have kids here in GA. My goal is to get as much info as possible and talk him into moving back with me so we can work thru this together
 
Thank you Laura and I like that quote. I was a no brainer to me when he first told me about als and I haven't changed my mind about taking care of him just because they gave him less time to live. I believe in the power of human strength. So I will do my best to keep him reassured. I found him a another doctor in town to get another option and he got involved in a support group so things are slowly progessing and I already prepared myself for the worse. Just want to be able to enjoy him for how ever long that may be
 
i think it is just amazing that you are willing to take care of him. that says you are an exraordinary (sp?) person.
but i need to tell you, as was mentioined above, this is a long hard road. Hard doesnt really cover it. Do you have friends and family who will help you? You will NEED that. Please keep that in mind. Or if you two have the finances to hire outside help. I believe Medicare allows so many hours of help.
My heart aches for you. Try to stay strong, and hold onto hope.
 
like joel told me and you can tell him he is not dying today or tomorrow ... pain and heartache yes but also time still for living , laughing , and joy ... you tell him that and hope it helps .. best of luck
 
Nice that you are willing to help your fiance. If your family is willing to help take care of him, that would be great.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top