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tmtellez

New member
Joined
Oct 17, 2010
Messages
6
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
06/2007
Country
US
State
Arizona
City
Flagstaff
Hi all, my name is Tina Tellez and I am caregiver for a woman with ALS. I worked with developmentally disabled adults for over six years, and thought that I was equiped to take on a patient with a different kind of chanllenge wanting to gain skills to become an RN.. I find that this disease is much harder, and difficult for me to handle than working with DD individuals. The woman I work for has been having a difficult time keeping caregivers around because of her particular ways. She must have complete control over everything, and becomes irrational over minor issues... I realize that this is also part of the disease, but at times I feel trapped and drained by her unrealistic expectations...She becomes angry with me, if I am to happy in the morning, and over corrects me to the point of irrability...I work four twenty-hour shifts with her, and I start to loss my cool by the end of my shift..I would like to find a healthy balance with her because the money is descent making it easier to fullfil my goals. I want to stay around, but I feel that possibily there is nothing I can do in this situation and she must get more professional help...I am doing my best and want to try tackle this issues. I hope that joining this group will provide me with some answers...I am open to anything!
 
Tina,
Do you know if your patient is on any medication for emotional lability?
 
I copied your post here in hope that more people will see it and respond.

It could be Emotional Lability as has already been suggested. If it is then medication will help to take care of it. There is also a possibility she is just being hard to get along with, if that is the case then you need to tell her you are not going to put up with it. She will need to be reprimanded for her behaviour, it is not acceptable. Sorry you are going through this.
 
it could be EL, it could be depression, it could be early FTD.... in any of those cases, medication will help. She really needs an evaluation by a psychiatrist knowledgable about neurological disorders. And yes, if it turns out that none of the above apply, then Joel hit the nail on the head: someone needs to gently but firmly tell her to knock it the ==== off!
 
I agree because I wrote the post during the last part of my shift, and felt better about her possible situation, but I lost it when she started being irrational I couldn't take it anymore.. She kept telling me that I might have hormonal issues. I feel confident that I am trying my best to figure out the problem.
 
I will make sure to let her know that in order for me to continue working with her she can at least needs to be evaluated because I can't work with her...
 
I will make sure to let her know that in order for me to continue working with her she can at least needs to be evaluated because I can't work with her...<br>
 
Does she have family around that you can talk to?
 
At least you can quit if she doesn't get her act together. Unfortunately, that is not an option when the PALS is your husband.
 
At least you can quit if she doesn't get her act together. Unfortunately, that is not an option when the PALS is your husband.

I realized that I shouldn't have made that comment. I'm sorry! I was venting and should have been more considerate for people that are helping out there family members..I have so much admiration for your strength and value your insight....So, please forgive me for my outburst....I will try what ever I can to maintain her quality of life as long as I can... I need help to do so...My prayers are with you..Thank you!
 
Her family attempted to help out, but they worried that they could not meet her high demands. She is very OCD, and I have to do things a certain way or she will get very angry and call me stupid....God, this is the hardest job I have ever had...My admiration to all of you that do this for years helping family member out...
 
What a caring person you are! I am sure you will make a great nurse. However, you must protect yourself or you will quickly burn out. And no one will benefit from that.

Emotional liablity is marked by mood swings - not by being unreasonable and contemptible. There are no medications that cure bad behaviour, unfortunately.

You need to have a frank talk with this woman and her family. Ask her Dr Phil's favourite question ... "How is this working for you?"And tell her how it is working for you and everyone else who leaves her.

If you don't say anything, you are giving her permission to continue this - sabotaging her own quality of life as well as that of those who are there to help her.

Providing care for a patient who requires total care can be difficult - but very rewarding. Caring for someone who is disrespectful and abusive is impossible.

You are to be commended for trying.

Lorna
 
Lorna... that's exactly why I asked about an FTD evaluation. FTD patients DO exhibit inappropriate and mean behavior. Glen would laugh if I got upset.. not the uncontrollable EL laughter, but because he genuinely found it humorous. There is also a lack of empathy.. so the person doesn't really grasp that they are being unreasonable. In that way they are much like toddlers.. they want what they want when they want it, which is usually NOW. And while it FEELS deliberate (trust me, I know!) it isn't.. the portion of the brain that provides inhibition, empathy, etc, has atrophied. Caring for them is in fact NOT impossible.. but it is very difficult, and much easier when you realize that the behavior is part of the disease. There ARE medications to help a little bit anyway, but one must get a diagnosis first.
 
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