Bill0808
Member
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2010
- Messages
- 10
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 08/2010
- Country
- US
- State
- TX
- City
- Texas
Hello every one, this is my first post but I’m sure it won’t be the last. I just returned from my mother-in-law’s funeral. She was a beautiful and caring women who died after a long bout with Lupus.
About two weeks ago, in the midst of this, my Father-in-law was diagnosed with ALS. He has neglected his condition for some time, choosing to focus on he wife’s condition, and only went to the doctor after his daughter insisted.
My visit was the first I have seen him in about a year. His speech is slurred to the point where some things he says are hard to understand, of course the more time you spend with him the easier it becomes. He has moments of sobbing and extended periods of laughter. He has begun to drag one leg, although not so badly that it has effect his mobility. He still gets up early most morning and goes for short walks on a treadmill.
I recently retired from the military and my relationship with my in-laws has always been one of distance. With that said, my Father-in-law has always been there for us. Fortunately we never had to ask for much but just knowing that there was a safety net beneath me always has been of great comfort and now I feel it is time to return that comfort.
I must admit I am little lost right now. My wife doesn’t work and is with her father as they start the road too long term care, trying to get a grasp on where he is in the disease and what we can do to help. I know this won’t be easy and fully expect that he will eventually move in with us until the illness runs its course.
Does any one have advice on where to start, pitfalls to look out for or perhaps thing that they wish they had done early on?
My wife has already started taking the on the roll of primary care giver. My plane is to start researching organizations and programs that my be of help. I know that not every one is fortunate enough to have a third person to help but if you did, what sort of things would you like them to do? For those of you that have a support system, how have they helped you and maybe more importantly what sort of things have been unhelpful.
In the military we always say adapt and overcome, as I read through the forum I can see this is a trait that all of you share. I see my roll right now as supplying comfort to my Father-in-law support to my wife and trying to be a reasonable guide through uncertain times.
Any response is appreciated and thank you.
About two weeks ago, in the midst of this, my Father-in-law was diagnosed with ALS. He has neglected his condition for some time, choosing to focus on he wife’s condition, and only went to the doctor after his daughter insisted.
My visit was the first I have seen him in about a year. His speech is slurred to the point where some things he says are hard to understand, of course the more time you spend with him the easier it becomes. He has moments of sobbing and extended periods of laughter. He has begun to drag one leg, although not so badly that it has effect his mobility. He still gets up early most morning and goes for short walks on a treadmill.
I recently retired from the military and my relationship with my in-laws has always been one of distance. With that said, my Father-in-law has always been there for us. Fortunately we never had to ask for much but just knowing that there was a safety net beneath me always has been of great comfort and now I feel it is time to return that comfort.
I must admit I am little lost right now. My wife doesn’t work and is with her father as they start the road too long term care, trying to get a grasp on where he is in the disease and what we can do to help. I know this won’t be easy and fully expect that he will eventually move in with us until the illness runs its course.
Does any one have advice on where to start, pitfalls to look out for or perhaps thing that they wish they had done early on?
My wife has already started taking the on the roll of primary care giver. My plane is to start researching organizations and programs that my be of help. I know that not every one is fortunate enough to have a third person to help but if you did, what sort of things would you like them to do? For those of you that have a support system, how have they helped you and maybe more importantly what sort of things have been unhelpful.
In the military we always say adapt and overcome, as I read through the forum I can see this is a trait that all of you share. I see my roll right now as supplying comfort to my Father-in-law support to my wife and trying to be a reasonable guide through uncertain times.
Any response is appreciated and thank you.