ALS Son Very Angry!

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cheyann

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2010
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
02/2007
Country
US
State
NV
City
Carson City
My son who has ALS is displaying a great amount of anger at everyone, especially his -inwife. Is this a common behavior. My daughter-in-law is beside herself. Any ideas what she can do? Any help would be appreciated.
 
I think some of it may be shock according to how long he has been diagnosed. We all have different ways to deal with BAD news. Don't make it right and he will have to learn to express himself better because she is also dealing with it too. Maybe they can talk to someone.
 
My husband has done the same thing - over and over and over. I don't know what the answer is, I just know that it is intolerable. I make sure that I don't keep this to myself. I'm afraid I would resent him if I did. I "talk" it out with him - more often than not I just remind him of the behavior when he calms down and how horrible it is for me (and the children if they are around to see it).

I am so sorry your daughter-in-law is experiencing this. It is so painful. The caregiving is hard enough with out it. I am planning to talk to our minister about it (this one deals primarily with members of the congregation that are ill). I hope he can get through to my husband. I will say that the love and support I receive here on the forum helps me get through the rough spots. I would encourage your daughter-in-law to check in to the forum as a source of support.
 
It could be because of Emotional Lability and there is medication that can help.

Emotional Lability is 3 fold, it can manifest itself as inappropriate and uncontrollable crying, laughing or anger. I had the crying and the doctor prescribed Citalopram, it solved the problem for me.
 
Mom was like that in the beginning. She was so mean to my Dad. She is not like that anymore at all.
 
I recently lost the support and love of my daughters through being in a similar rage. Lasted about three days and I just lashed out at everybody and everything. There was no rationality behind it at all. I have apologised to my daughters but they will not come back. That is their choice and their behaviour does not make me feel respect for them, not to have the compassion. The point being, PLEASE bear with him. He is not doing it purposely any more than I was and you are the greater person for respecting that and forgiving him.
LOve
Irismarie
 
From my personal experience I think men have greater difficulty dealing with the loss of the independence and dignity. ALS is often so fast I can't imagine anybody ever adapting or accepting this huge change. One day you are in the prime of life and the next, parts of you fall off and don't work. I know I am frightened. It took me two years to get out of being depressed whrn I was diagnosed with Dystonia. I don't have that time now. God bless us all.
 
Does part of the anger manifest itself in totally irrational behavior? I get accussed of abuse because I don't hand him a TV remote fast enough, or I don't hop up the minute he wants more ice in his tea. I wouldn't have behaved any differently before he was ill. Why would I change that? Of course I take care of all of his needs - no question. I do not think that it is abuse if it is not an essential need and I finish what I am doing before I take care of it.
 
Yes, it does manifest in a totally irrational way and there is no control over it without medication.
 
What is the best medication for it? My husband is on Lexapro, and obviously that isn't doing the trick!
 
There are many different medications people take that work. I tried several and Citalopram works best for me.
 
Thanks to everyone who responded to this.... I really do appreciate it. Now, if I can just get my daughter-in-law to join this site.... I think it would really help. But, she seems so resistent to getting help. Don't know if it's from fear of getting my son upset or just that she worries about reaching out to others. Only time will tell. Thanks to all! God bless you.
 
Please do encourage her to join this site. She could sit back and read helpful info that might make their journey easier. If she is afraid of upsetting your son, she should explain that the people on this site are going through exactly what they are and can make life easier with the knowledge gained from each other. Health care professionals do not know everything, as they are not living ALS. She will HAVE to reach out to someone or she may not be able to effectively care for him, due to mental stress. Then where will they be?

Good luck to y'all...
 
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My husband wouldn't like that I am on this site, so I understand her concern. He isn't interested in going online for support, though.
 
You know what? My husband has been irritated with me before about being on any ALS forum. But, guess what? He wouldn't be where he is today, if I had not taken the initiative to research and advocate for him. I'm just honest with him about it. Now he is appreciative and even asks me to present questions to the forum!

Now, FB is whole nother story!;)
 
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