[email protected]
New member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2008
- Messages
- 8
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 08/2007
- Country
- US
- State
- NJ
- City
- Wharton
Hello, all. I wrote aimee the other day and poor thing, I dumped on her. But I was so happy to find you all that I was crying in front of the computer screen!
My Mom was diagnosed 3 years ago and I'm her primary caregiver. The details of the last 3 years are, I'm sure, what you all know and have gone through. But please listen to what happened to us and see if you have any ideas.
2 weeks ago, the VNA Nurse with the NEW head of the VNA walk in on a Friday afternoon and announce that the aides are not allowed to lift my mom anymore. Mom needs a full lift now and we have been doing it manually for 3 years (of course, it's really a "full" lift now). Our aides are the most beautiful helpful girls. What was terribly upsetting is they did not offer a plan, a hoyer, a sling, anything! Overnight, my mom was to be confined to the bed all day. She has never even used a bedpan.
The VNA head says to me, Well, you know you've had your mother for 3 years. O dear Jesus, what was that supposed to mean? I looked at her and yup, she meant it the way it was said. I think hospice wants to wipe their hands of her. She's lived too long for them so that's it!
Now, TWO weeks later, we finally have a hoyer (had to raise the bed so it would get under), and the equipment company shows up while I'm not there and offers my Mom(!) two different slings and asks HER which one she wants! I can't believe this! So they leave both and warn her that she has to return one. Neither one works. The hired evening aide has figured out that if we roll up the bottom three times, she can get my mom into bed without too much respiratory distress. Now they tell me they cannot get the right sling for her. What they have is what they have.
Ok, so now I've been trying to get a PT or an OT in to help us figure it out. I leave messages with the VNA nurse and nobody calls back.
My heart is just broken. If I leave the VNA, Mom will lose the girls that she loves and loves her. But this is just too much for us to bear. I am going to have a breakdown and my Mom is so depressed I don't know what to do -- and she is a saint!
Please, please, if you have any thoughts, questions, anything at all please offer them. I need help.
My Mom was diagnosed 3 years ago and I'm her primary caregiver. The details of the last 3 years are, I'm sure, what you all know and have gone through. But please listen to what happened to us and see if you have any ideas.
2 weeks ago, the VNA Nurse with the NEW head of the VNA walk in on a Friday afternoon and announce that the aides are not allowed to lift my mom anymore. Mom needs a full lift now and we have been doing it manually for 3 years (of course, it's really a "full" lift now). Our aides are the most beautiful helpful girls. What was terribly upsetting is they did not offer a plan, a hoyer, a sling, anything! Overnight, my mom was to be confined to the bed all day. She has never even used a bedpan.
The VNA head says to me, Well, you know you've had your mother for 3 years. O dear Jesus, what was that supposed to mean? I looked at her and yup, she meant it the way it was said. I think hospice wants to wipe their hands of her. She's lived too long for them so that's it!
Now, TWO weeks later, we finally have a hoyer (had to raise the bed so it would get under), and the equipment company shows up while I'm not there and offers my Mom(!) two different slings and asks HER which one she wants! I can't believe this! So they leave both and warn her that she has to return one. Neither one works. The hired evening aide has figured out that if we roll up the bottom three times, she can get my mom into bed without too much respiratory distress. Now they tell me they cannot get the right sling for her. What they have is what they have.
Ok, so now I've been trying to get a PT or an OT in to help us figure it out. I leave messages with the VNA nurse and nobody calls back.
My heart is just broken. If I leave the VNA, Mom will lose the girls that she loves and loves her. But this is just too much for us to bear. I am going to have a breakdown and my Mom is so depressed I don't know what to do -- and she is a saint!
Please, please, if you have any thoughts, questions, anything at all please offer them. I need help.