Old 06-02-2010, 02:16 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default How do you keep your PALS occupied

My husband is bored - bored, bored, bored. He cannot drive anymore. Every day, he wants to know what the plan is, where are we going, what will we be doing. I hate having to tell him that today is laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc. He now sees that the life of a homemaker is dull. The time I used to spend at work is now spent caregiving and taking care of the things he used to do. Any suggestions? I do not have the time to go on an adventure every day!
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:22 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I am bored too and only get out once a month if I am lucky.I try not to show my boredom to my wife because there is nothing that she can do about it. Like I said, I wish I had some words of wisdom!
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:24 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Maybe you could reserve one or two days a week for "adventure" days. Does he like movies or the internet or gaming? My husband likes Netflix. They have great historical dramas and all sorts of TV series and just plain ol' movies.

Do you have a retired neighbor that could maybe take him out every now and then? We've have two retirees that like to take my husband out occasionally.

That's all I can offer off the top of my head.
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:14 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Missy
I wish my wife had the energy to want to get out every day. If your husband likes to read try a Kindal from Amazon. You can get a version for you laptop. I am getting Serena a notebook this week and haveing the labtop version added to it. She cant use her arms but she has feet controls for the mouse. It would give him something to do besides watching the TV. Just a suggestion.
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:00 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

I find that getting outside even a little bit makes me feel better. I've been thinking of getting a bird feeder or hummingbird feeder so I would have something to watch out the windows. You could get a dog so you'd have to walk it every day, and then you could bring your husband along. Or forget the dog and just go for a walk around the block, assuming he can go that far or you have a wheelchair. I'll bet he would enjoy small outings like that.

If he can write he could take up puzzles like sudoku or crosswords, there are books of all levels of difficulty. They say these can keep the mind agile. Books on tape or the ebook readers are good ideas too.
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:54 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Oh yes! My husband subscribes to Audible (books you can download). Also, he rides around the block in his PWC (like Hal suggested) and visits with neighbors that may be outside, although they don't understand most of what he's saying. He is just happy to see someone else's face! lol

Something else I would like to add: you can let the housework go sometimes and just enjoy the day! It'll still be there waiting for you. If you are OCD like me, it's hard - but then what is more important? And guess what? If the grass doesn't get cut, it won't have it's feelings hurt!
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:58 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Luckily, we have a beautiful backyard, and he can get out on the patio. We are getting a lift, so starting next week he will be able to use the pool. He wants to go out - literally out - every day. I can take him to the YMCA and workout while our son is in swim team practice. Right now, no power chair, so no "walks" around the block. Hopefully, we'll get that soon. What I am gathering is that my husband is spoiled! He rarely goes ore than one or two days without a friend kidnapping him for lunch or dinner, or I take him on an outling. I even joined the zoo to give us a place to go!
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Old 06-02-2010, 07:10 PM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

A dog is an excellent idea and good company. I had one some years back, she was a collie shepherd mix and so special. I still miss her. When my husband was first diagnosed, I saw her picture on the table and told her - he is sick. In the strangest sort of way, I almost felt she could hear me.


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Old 06-02-2010, 08:24 PM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

We have 3 shih tzus. I think we would lose our minds if we didn't have them. They keep us entertained. The middle one "knows" that he is sick. If he needs a kiss, and I'm too busy - she is always there.
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Old 06-02-2010, 09:40 PM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Dear Missy

I know the work you have and doing it all yourself. Please forgive me if this post seems bold but I do understand! The housework will ALWAYS be there dear. Get out and go places while he can go! Take him for a favorite ride, go the park, ask him where he wants to go. Do this as often as your finances allow you both to enjoy life!
It was the little things that we would do, or go to. When it was not comfortable for him to travel as much (I had an adapter and plugged his bipap in my car lighter for rides)
he enjoyed t.v. and a new hobby was watching the birds at the feeders. We had a family of yellow finches that showed off for him, along with the hummingbird feeders. They still come and visit me and it makes me smile to think they were "his birds".

As I said, I know how much you have to do and no one is going to do the work for you. But I promise you, someday you will get to smile about the little trips that you took him on and the fun days being together.

Love
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:43 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Thanks Patty,

I need to be prompted. It is so hard to let things go. If it were just the two of us, I wouldn't really mind. It's just hard to do it with the kids around. They help out, but I want them to keep things as normal as possible.

We went to the YMCA and worked out tonight while our son was at swim practice. This was definitely good for my husband, mentally and physically. Since practice is four days a week, that will be something good for us to do. Unfortunately, Memphis is very hot and humid. Anything we do outside will have to be early in the morning.

We will figure this out. Thanks for all of the suggestions. It really helps knowing that others are going through this, too. I hate it, but it does help.

Thanks,

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Old 06-03-2010, 11:15 AM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

There is hope as he is a guy.

Guys want good food
Guys want cold beer
Guys want to see women nekkid !

A game of "If you can catch me, you can have me" should cheer him up.
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Old 06-03-2010, 12:33 PM #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Yep, brilliant avice all round. Certainly, just being outside is a major thing for me. Do the books, the listening, the computer, the soduko, but still bored. Want to WORK. Didn't someone suggest a nurse's unifrom once for Wanda? And a shimmy on the pole? These to be done when kids are at school, of course. How wonderful he will be able to go swimming.
But I think that the crux of the matter is that just passong time is not the issue. It is a desire to work,to be useful. Now there are loads of sites on line that need transcribers, particularly genealogy sites that are trying to get old documents available for all to see; Maybe something like that with a real USE to it might make a difference?
For example Invitation to volunteer transcribers to help Native American non-profit org need transcribers of oral traditions recounted by Native Indians......
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Old 06-03-2010, 12:55 PM #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Wonderful idea Irismarie! That's what it is. Feeling useless. As bored as I am, I am taking care of him. I miss work. I can't imagine how he must feel. He knows he will never work again. I know I will once we get to the point that we need caregivers. Thank you so much for the insight.
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Old 06-03-2010, 12:56 PM #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do you keep your PALS occupied

Miss, to make things easier on you, you can see about getting someone in to help with things like laundry, cleaning, etc. I know in PA the county has people to help that may require payment based on income. Also the VA will provide assistance free for service connected vets. I don't know how many hours as my wife actively refuses help.

I'm with Glen (.)(.) can entertain me for hours. Maybe be a topless homemaker
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