Clinic appointment today

[JOSIEM02]

Well, my MIL had clinic today and it went terrible. They told her this was the end stage because of her breathing. I am truly lost. We all know this day comes but we are never ready. Barb (MIL) has had several bad days. She can no longer suction by herself and it frightens me when she has to be alone. We were able to get a infer red laser alarm for her at night, she could no longer push the button for the wireless door bell we had been using. I sit here, my daughter at my moms, my son in his room, my husband still working, I just put Barb to bed and all I want to do is cry. We had a very good talk tonight but when she looks at me it breaks my heart. I just wanted to let you all know. Josie

 

[Miss]

My heart breaks for you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

 

[handinhand]

Josie, I feel so sorry for you tonight.I can hardly stand it. You sound so very sad. I think of my rich and I don't want him to go through what you are. I have told rich as bad as this is I would not want to be him....this is the hardest thing to go through..we are all here for you..Linda

 

[brooksea]

Praying for you and your MIL. So sorry!

 

[JeffP]

so sorry to hear this mil .you must be going through a very sad time i feel it .i pray for your family comfort from god to help lead you all through this again im so sorry

 

[helpinhand]

So sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you and your family. Special prayer tonight for your MIL.

 

[JOSIEM02]

Thank you all. I don't know what to say, I can't even think straight. Barb and I had a long talk last night about what she wants and doesn't want. Truly hard. I knew we had to because she named me as her final decision maker if she isn't able to. I made those decisions with my dad 10 years ago and it hurts the same. She said she had more to say but she was exhausted last night. I hope my heart can take this. Josie

 

[indigosd]

Josie, holding you soul close right this moment and pouring courage, love and support into you from the Prairie. You do not have to be strong. You only need to be present and love. xo Kay Marie

 

[irismarie]

Josie, my darling darling Josie. If I had someone like you close by I would feel safe, no matter what.
My heart goes out to you all. Kay Marie is right, forget strong. That is much much too much to ask of yourself. Just be there and with love as you cannot help but be;
HOlding you along with the others in our arms

 

[mare]

Josie-

I'm so sorry about this news. It must be so difficult to be faced with this.
But, it seems as though she trusts you to listen & carry out her wishes. Finish that conversation with her, as difficult as it is. It will be the thing that carries you through the days to come, knowing you are doing what she wants. (I'm thinking you already know this!)

Wishing you strength & peace.

 

[luvnmm]

Josiem02 - I am soooo sorry to hear this news. My heart hurts for you and for your MIL. All are in my prayers tonight and always. Please keep us posted on how she is doing.

 

[JOSIEM02]

Thank you all for your replies. The clinic told us with her breathing being so low they would guess only about 3 months if that long. They recommended a nursing facility since she is at home during the day at times by herself while we work. She said no homes but agreed to at least go look at some. My question is we of course want the best for her but if the best is going to a nursing home what do you do. I expressed to my husband and my sister in law that ultimately it is her decision. It is about her not what my sister in law wants, right? It gets a little hard being the daughter in law but I figure I do more then her 3 children so my opinion should matter. Her one son has been here 4 times since she came home last August, the daughter complains about been here and not at her house. I told her last night its not about what you want it is about YOUR MOTHER. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing by Bard. Josie

 

[luvnmm]

Josie, On a positive thought, your MIL did agree to go look at some nursing homes. Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind, she realizes it would be the best move do her. You are correct, it's about what the MIL wants, but... Is someone able to stay with her at home all day and night? Would she be in a safer environment if she were in a nursing home? I'm not trying to make trouble, I'm just thinking out loud. I am sorry to hear that her breathing is so low. That can't be easy to hear. Yes, your opinion does matter. You are family. I'm not sure this post helped you any...I hope it does.

 

[Twinsmom]

Josie,
The others are right...Don't worry about being strong...just BE. Love her, and honor her. Your love will give you what you need to get through each second.

Regarding her wishes for the last phase of this journey...she honored you with being her healthcare surrogate, so screw everyone else. You trust your gut and make the decisions as each hurdle is approached that will best serve her.

Prayers for courage and grace!
Peace,