Old 05-25-2010, 05:51 PM #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: New here..

TakeThemAMeal.com is a wonderful place to start a meal plan. A couple in my Sunday school class set that up. It is super easy to use, and it stops the same meal from coming to the house over and over!
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Old 05-25-2010, 06:10 PM #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: New here..

Missy, I am almost jealous! I would be estatic for even one meal! Our community support is nonexistant. Our Ministers have not even phoned us since December when they brought Web a Prayer Shawl made by the WELCA. Maybe it is a Lutheran thing...

Great suggestions from everyone! hugs
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Old 05-28-2010, 08:23 AM #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: New here..

Good Morning Aimee!
I am really sorry to hear about your MIL. It's a horrible disease and a very difficult situation you have found yourself in. You have definitely come to the right place for information, advice, and comfort. These people are great! Please do not feel guilty for the feelings you are feeling or for asking for help. You need all the help you can get. I don't know if anyone has mentioned the MDA/ALS site. The ALS Guardian Angels are on that site too. Also, definitely contact your local ALS support group. They are a huge help.
You haven't posted in a while, so I hope things are going as good as can be expected. I hope you update us soon on how things are going.
Have a blessed day!
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Old 05-31-2010, 08:35 AM #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: New here..New here too!

Dear Aimee,
I am new here just today and I thank you so much for writing your story. Your story is mine, but add in a father who is in complete denial about his wife dying. I am the stupid daughter who has tried to make everything seem as normal as possible for as long as possible! I am crying in front of this computer just so happy (?) that there is somebody else out there who may understand!

Now 3 years later, I am ready for a complete mental breakdown. Thank God I found this site. If you all can take my "crying", I would like to ask you for help, too.

The guilt, the frustration, the worry, it's like a heavy rock that is sitting on my chest and I can't take a deep breath. I love my mom so much and it's terribly hard on her.

I will just bore you with the latest: The VNA has put us through hell with scheduling. They will call at the last minute and say, "OOps, sorry, nobody available!" The latest is that after 3 years, they will not lift my mom any more. Ok, I understand that. But they walk in on a Friday, late afternoon, and give us this news -- no warning, no hoyer, no sling, no help! So, what is Mom to do? Overnight, she is going to be confined to bed? Again -- no toileting?, no repositioning, nothing?

The VNA new head says to me -- well, you know you've had your Mom for 3 years -- ? what the heck is that supposed to mean? She's been here long enough and too long for hospice? Time for her to die, I guess? Too much trouble for you? Yeah, yeah, I know, it's all about quality of life.

My mom is luckier than most -- she can still swallow and speak - not without difficulties, but it's like the VNa wants to wash their hands of her. She's been on hospice too long. She went on hospice after the doctor ordered it. I didn't order it!

As it is, Mom has a hired night aide who puts her to bed, thank God.

That's enough ranting for now. Back to you, Aimee. All I can say is I'm grateful you wrote and I am so sorry for what you are going through. I, too, had my grandson and son come home and live with me after his mother abandoned them, so I became instant mom again after raising my own. I took my refuge in my grandson who is the joy and light of my life. Whoever told you to focus on the joy of your children's life is completely right. It may be the only way to get through the day.

As for your husband, cling to him. My husband after 35 years has REALLY stepped up to the bat. Tell your husband everything and find consolation in him. He will come through.

Blessings to you,
Nan
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