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brooksea

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"My dear FAMILY,
I am writing to you to tell you my truth and my hope that this situation will grow a beautiful blessing for this place that I called home. I am writing this and asking our CJ to post it for me. CJ phoned me this morning and during our conversation it occured to me that my absence from the forum was causing the people that I cherish more pain. Sybil and her trolls are fixated on me. If they see that I have posted all the ugliness will begin again. The forum and my forum family [you know who you are so I will not include any names] do not need the additional stress. I want this war to stop! No more PALS and CALS to be shattered even one more time, EVER. This wonderful home just needs a security system that protects PALS and CALS. Oh, and also smilies that give kisses and group hugs! I still have your backs and hold you safely in my heart. That transcends this place. That is forever.

Those of you that know me, know that my true belief is that nothing happens without a reason. This painful experience was not a coincidence. It was not just for me. We all are given lessons from the Universe so that we will be forced to grow. My personal experience is that oftentimes the most powerful lessons are also the ones that just shatter you so that you can then see the gifts and the blessings that will come to you from the dark pain. Was I hurt? Was I shattered? Yes, I was and I am picking up the pieces and gluing them back together with the heart glue that came to me with the love messages and love calls that you have been sending. Oh, I also got a new ruby red pair of silk "big girl panties" that is actually a thong!

Please do not believe that the vicious attacks on me by Sybil and her trolls wounded me. Those were only ugly words from a unstable person. They have no power what so ever. The shattering came from the reality that in that moment of ugliness that I had no one to protect my back in ways that made sense to me. I felt like I was literally in my home and it was being ransaked. I felt like I was being abused and that everyone was only looking through their fingers that were covering up their eyes. The honest truth is that I felt soul abandoned, betrayed and unprotected by my family. That is MY lesson. I felt like I had a house fire that was consuming my home and that no one would call 911 or even throw a bucket of water on the flames. In the aftermath, I had to face the ugly truth that I was living in the same imaginary world that Sybil and the trolls live in-just a better neighborhood!

I will not be here because at this moment in time, it is all I have to protect you from the trolls. I have not been here because I have had to protect and take care of my shattered heart. My absence is not manipulaton or asking people to take sides. It is the only way that I can work through how violated I felt and the loss of my trust. I am sharing this with you because of this quote by Dinah Shore of all people."

"Trouble is part of your life — if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."

So whether you agree with me or not is unimportant in the big picture. There will continue to be gifts and blessings. The gift that I have for you today is honestly sharing my trouble and the knowledge that we all need chances to love enough.

Florida Scott-Maxwell said it soul honestly,
"Life does not accomodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition."
 
"part 2
My hope is that out of my personal shattered heart that there will be new growth and a bigger home with strong walls and a working security system! I challenge each of you that loves this forum home and the people that you know as your chosen family to find your voice and rebuild it, empower it, nurture it, protect it and appreciate it. I have asked each of you to work for having more moderators on the forum. I can not imagine how overwhelming it must be to be a moderator. What happended and has been happening could have been avoided with more moderators. The moderators need to have a policy and procedure with powerful teeth so that they can delete inflammatory posts immediately and also ban obvious trolls immediately. Ask David if there is a way to "erect a virtual fence" that divides the dreaded thread from our threads. All of the virulent discord is from that thread. Is it reasonable to expect that they can not come over here until they are diagnosed as a PALS or CALS? As a family, you need to watch out for one another. trfogey is also a lightening rod for troll abuse. Watch his back. He is protecting you. He thinks he has a tough hide but inside is someone who also winces with repeated abuse. If you are going to interact with the people that have no diagnosed and are looking for information BE SMART. Go to their profile and see what you think. If they have verbally abused one of your forum family friends, for God's sake, Don't befriend them or tell them that you support them! The best way to get rid of trolls as Joel, AL and others have repeated over and over is to not interact with them and to simply ignore them. I know that is true but when it becomes a personal assault it is difficult to do. I should have known better. I have to own what I did or didn't do. Please have this lesson bear fruit of goodness and security. Please know that even the people that are soul resiliant, full of passion and fire have vulnerable places that you must protect on the days that they are exhausted. Draw lines in the sand and stand on the side that is just. Trust that there are people who have reliable, built in, highly developed BS radars and then listen to them when they are yelling at the top of their lungs that the trolls have invaded your home! Love one another. Thank you, each and everyone of you sweet souls that put your arms around me with your emails, messages and calls. This too shall pass. sending you the song of the Meadowlark from the Prairie and heart hugs from indigosd Kay Marie"
 
I am sorry that you will be taking a time out. I hate that I will miss out on your wisdom gained from traveling a path that I am just embarking on. But I am glad that you have the strength of self to do what you need to do to keep yourself centered. Via con Dios - Go with God - Mary
 
How the heck did I miss this all......come back...come back!
 
I am heartbroken and speechless. My stomach is just sick...
 
I missed all that stuff too - and hope that a resolution will be found soon. I wonder if barricuda security software has something that would be adequate for the site - also, it seems to me that they would want to donate that security service. I hope those know Brooksea personally will be able to contact her privately to encourage her and to let her know when it is safe to go back in the water as it were.
 
Mary - I was asked to post for indigosd AKA Kay Marie, and have gladly done so. Hard to keep us all straight isn't it?

So sad...about KM (not sad about the confusion, Mary! LOL)
 
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Definitely I'm confused - but as long as ya'll are willing to put up with my learning curve, I'll get it right :) Is there nothing we can do to resolve the issues? I can ask my son-in-law about potential computer securities - he's a big cheese in the programming end of things and really smart about all things software - if you think it would be of service to the site. Mary
 
That would be up to David (moderator) who runs the site.
 
brooksea well written#1 i tell you that is exactly what the intent of aka silverlining was sent to do to put confusion on this forum .that is why we have so many christians with this forum to keep the str4ength of god in it.leaving because you feel violated i myself would rethink.kay marie you say this is the only way the trolls will leave this forum i have to disagree with you .we are being attacked or inticed in many ways on a daily basis the world we live in has an ugly side but if we all fall to that then everyone is a mess .this forum was built on a love and concern basis the kind of forum god loves thats why we will be attacked .to carry the weight of this kay on your shoulders is way to heavy for you .let go let god and i pray the strength of prayer will bring to light to you to be here were your needed
 
Kay Marie, I hope this gets to you. JeffP is right - I personally think the trolls have won if you feel you must leave this forum. Your love, concern and wit have been an inspiration to many of us and it appears that the person (s) who were trolling the site were feeding off your honest remarks. They were twisting them to divide the family. Those, like myself, who did not post on the public forum no doubt prayed that the fewer posts defending ourselves and you, the faster this person would lose interest in all of us and slink back into the black hole from which she/he/they sprung.

Please rethink your decision and come back to us - we need you and love you and are here for you. Really, really we are.

Diane

PS - Besides there aren't too many of us from SD on this forum so I need a sistah!
 
I too am saddened that all this nastiness has caused KayMarie all this hurt. I didnt respond because I felt that the less said the better and I hoped that they(the nasty ones) would just go away if they didnt find what they were looking for. I am sorry that my lack of response actually hurt someone who has been such a support to so many on here.
My hope is that you will feel that you 're able to come back to these forums..you are missed greatly.
Susan
 
Kay Marie is a strong woman! I know her concern is for the bigger picture of how to protect our family. She is a passionate woman and warrior for all of us. Right now, she's going to go be with her daughter and celebrate the miracle of a new life being added to her family. Hopefully, now that we have Joel back to help as moderator, things will settle down.

I do think it would be reasonable to put some restrictions on the threads new members can post on for a period of time, although I'm not sure what that period of time should be.

Thank you, CJ for posting on our loved Kay Marie's behalf.
Peace to you all,
 
Kay Marie, I really haven't been on much in the last 3 weeks. I am way behind in what has been going on but I am wishing you all the blessings in the world for you heart. Please know that I will miss you. Josie
 
HEY! I just realized I went from"Member" to "Senior Member"! I'm so excited! I feel like a graduated and went up a grade! :)
 
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