"My dear FAMILY,
I am writing to you to tell you my truth and my hope that this situation will grow a beautiful blessing for this place that I called home. I am writing this and asking our CJ to post it for me. CJ phoned me this morning and during our conversation it occured to me that my absence from the forum was causing the people that I cherish more pain. Sybil and her trolls are fixated on me. If they see that I have posted all the ugliness will begin again. The forum and my forum family [you know who you are so I will not include any names] do not need the additional stress. I want this war to stop! No more PALS and CALS to be shattered even one more time, EVER. This wonderful home just needs a security system that protects PALS and CALS. Oh, and also smilies that give kisses and group hugs! I still have your backs and hold you safely in my heart. That transcends this place. That is forever.
Those of you that know me, know that my true belief is that nothing happens without a reason. This painful experience was not a coincidence. It was not just for me. We all are given lessons from the Universe so that we will be forced to grow. My personal experience is that oftentimes the most powerful lessons are also the ones that just shatter you so that you can then see the gifts and the blessings that will come to you from the dark pain. Was I hurt? Was I shattered? Yes, I was and I am picking up the pieces and gluing them back together with the heart glue that came to me with the love messages and love calls that you have been sending. Oh, I also got a new ruby red pair of silk "big girl panties" that is actually a thong!
Please do not believe that the vicious attacks on me by Sybil and her trolls wounded me. Those were only ugly words from a unstable person. They have no power what so ever. The shattering came from the reality that in that moment of ugliness that I had no one to protect my back in ways that made sense to me. I felt like I was literally in my home and it was being ransaked. I felt like I was being abused and that everyone was only looking through their fingers that were covering up their eyes. The honest truth is that I felt soul abandoned, betrayed and unprotected by my family. That is MY lesson. I felt like I had a house fire that was consuming my home and that no one would call 911 or even throw a bucket of water on the flames. In the aftermath, I had to face the ugly truth that I was living in the same imaginary world that Sybil and the trolls live in-just a better neighborhood!
I will not be here because at this moment in time, it is all I have to protect you from the trolls. I have not been here because I have had to protect and take care of my shattered heart. My absence is not manipulaton or asking people to take sides. It is the only way that I can work through how violated I felt and the loss of my trust. I am sharing this with you because of this quote by Dinah Shore of all people."
"Trouble is part of your life — if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."
So whether you agree with me or not is unimportant in the big picture. There will continue to be gifts and blessings. The gift that I have for you today is honestly sharing my trouble and the knowledge that we all need chances to love enough.
Florida Scott-Maxwell said it soul honestly,
"Life does not accomodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition."
I am writing to you to tell you my truth and my hope that this situation will grow a beautiful blessing for this place that I called home. I am writing this and asking our CJ to post it for me. CJ phoned me this morning and during our conversation it occured to me that my absence from the forum was causing the people that I cherish more pain. Sybil and her trolls are fixated on me. If they see that I have posted all the ugliness will begin again. The forum and my forum family [you know who you are so I will not include any names] do not need the additional stress. I want this war to stop! No more PALS and CALS to be shattered even one more time, EVER. This wonderful home just needs a security system that protects PALS and CALS. Oh, and also smilies that give kisses and group hugs! I still have your backs and hold you safely in my heart. That transcends this place. That is forever.
Those of you that know me, know that my true belief is that nothing happens without a reason. This painful experience was not a coincidence. It was not just for me. We all are given lessons from the Universe so that we will be forced to grow. My personal experience is that oftentimes the most powerful lessons are also the ones that just shatter you so that you can then see the gifts and the blessings that will come to you from the dark pain. Was I hurt? Was I shattered? Yes, I was and I am picking up the pieces and gluing them back together with the heart glue that came to me with the love messages and love calls that you have been sending. Oh, I also got a new ruby red pair of silk "big girl panties" that is actually a thong!
Please do not believe that the vicious attacks on me by Sybil and her trolls wounded me. Those were only ugly words from a unstable person. They have no power what so ever. The shattering came from the reality that in that moment of ugliness that I had no one to protect my back in ways that made sense to me. I felt like I was literally in my home and it was being ransaked. I felt like I was being abused and that everyone was only looking through their fingers that were covering up their eyes. The honest truth is that I felt soul abandoned, betrayed and unprotected by my family. That is MY lesson. I felt like I had a house fire that was consuming my home and that no one would call 911 or even throw a bucket of water on the flames. In the aftermath, I had to face the ugly truth that I was living in the same imaginary world that Sybil and the trolls live in-just a better neighborhood!
I will not be here because at this moment in time, it is all I have to protect you from the trolls. I have not been here because I have had to protect and take care of my shattered heart. My absence is not manipulaton or asking people to take sides. It is the only way that I can work through how violated I felt and the loss of my trust. I am sharing this with you because of this quote by Dinah Shore of all people."
"Trouble is part of your life — if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."
So whether you agree with me or not is unimportant in the big picture. There will continue to be gifts and blessings. The gift that I have for you today is honestly sharing my trouble and the knowledge that we all need chances to love enough.
Florida Scott-Maxwell said it soul honestly,
"Life does not accomodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition."