Hi All,
It's been a long time since I have been on the forum. Where to start? I was laid off, then found an internal transfer at my company before my final day, so was NOT laid off. I started the new job the last monday in Oct. The job is not a great fit, they combined 2 people's jobs and gave them both to me, plus there are issues with my manager (the whole team is having problems with mgr). My husband's progression accelerated rapidly about the same time. Plus we moved, downsizing by more than half (I still don't know what all was given away), to a one level place. Fortunately our house sold quickly, so that is one upside.
Dave needs 24/7 care. I work from home, am constantly barraged by work emails and phone calls. I have someone here from 8-5 (a paid CNA part time and his parents the rest of the time) weekdays to help with him, but work is really more like a 10-12 hour a day thing now. I am so stressed at work that I started making mistakes for basic things. I cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to be effecient or effective. I finally called HR and had a melt down and they insisted that I take Family Medical Leave,both for Dave and for myself. I have 1 week left and the idea of going back to work absolutely makes me panic. I don't know how I can go back.
Dave does not qualify for SSDI or medicare because he was a stay home Dad for more than 10 years, and does not qualify. If I don't work, then we don't have insurance to pay for any of his neurologist, pulomonologist, OT, PT, or equipment rentals (and we have alot of it). Not sure how I will cope with going back.
My heart pounds when I think about work and I can't think straight. I had so much success in my career but I feel like I am blowing it now and will ruin my reputation, lose my job, and not be able to provide insurance for my family.
I worry that maybe Dave doesn't have much time left and I don't want to spend my time feeling horrible. I want to enjoy our time together. But I have to work at this job I hate that makes me feel like a failure and causes me massivie amounts of anxiety that I cannot dissapate no matter how much deep breathing and positive affirmations I give my self.
I don't expect any answers here...just venting...but at the end of my rope.
Thanks for listening & being there for my rant.
Lisa
It's been a long time since I have been on the forum. Where to start? I was laid off, then found an internal transfer at my company before my final day, so was NOT laid off. I started the new job the last monday in Oct. The job is not a great fit, they combined 2 people's jobs and gave them both to me, plus there are issues with my manager (the whole team is having problems with mgr). My husband's progression accelerated rapidly about the same time. Plus we moved, downsizing by more than half (I still don't know what all was given away), to a one level place. Fortunately our house sold quickly, so that is one upside.
Dave needs 24/7 care. I work from home, am constantly barraged by work emails and phone calls. I have someone here from 8-5 (a paid CNA part time and his parents the rest of the time) weekdays to help with him, but work is really more like a 10-12 hour a day thing now. I am so stressed at work that I started making mistakes for basic things. I cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to be effecient or effective. I finally called HR and had a melt down and they insisted that I take Family Medical Leave,both for Dave and for myself. I have 1 week left and the idea of going back to work absolutely makes me panic. I don't know how I can go back.
Dave does not qualify for SSDI or medicare because he was a stay home Dad for more than 10 years, and does not qualify. If I don't work, then we don't have insurance to pay for any of his neurologist, pulomonologist, OT, PT, or equipment rentals (and we have alot of it). Not sure how I will cope with going back.
My heart pounds when I think about work and I can't think straight. I had so much success in my career but I feel like I am blowing it now and will ruin my reputation, lose my job, and not be able to provide insurance for my family.
I worry that maybe Dave doesn't have much time left and I don't want to spend my time feeling horrible. I want to enjoy our time together. But I have to work at this job I hate that makes me feel like a failure and causes me massivie amounts of anxiety that I cannot dissapate no matter how much deep breathing and positive affirmations I give my self.
I don't expect any answers here...just venting...but at the end of my rope.
Thanks for listening & being there for my rant.
Lisa
