shelleynshaggy
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2009
- Messages
- 280
- Diagnosis
- 08/2009
- Country
- US
- State
- OH
- City
- Brunswick
Over the past 3-4 weeks I have noticed a change in myself. Thought I was getting the flu - just lack of motivation and achiness. Well the flu never hit - saw my doctor and he gave me a second prescription for depression. I am afraid my depression is getting worse. I told my doctor and he said "I think your doing good all things considered." Not sure what else I expect from him - I am on 2 daily meds and he gave a third for those "losing it" moments. I have expressed concerns to my mom and a couple of close friends - no one has any advice. I see myself slipping down this slope and can't figure out how to stop. I can't sleep at night (insomnia has been for over a year, partially due to working weekend nights) but can't wake up in the morning. Now that I don't work weekdays I have a hard time getting my butt off of the couch, which in turn makes me more mad at myself. I know I want to get up and do something - just can't seem to do it.
I started working out this last week to give me some "me" time - hoping it will also help increase my energy levels and get my mood up. Hoping to start to redo the bathroom - something I am excited about - but still all I can do is think about curling up into a ball and pulling the blanket over my head. Just feeling so trapped knowing things are going to get worse and I have no control. I actually dread going home - don't want to deal with Jim or the kids or the dogs - just a reminder of how different life is. Just generally annoyed about everything - which makes me more upset with myself. - just that vicious cycle. I have sought out support groups and even seen a counselor. These support groups have helped but the counselor was useless - good the first couple of sessions to get everything off my chest - but again just someone else who doesn't get it.
I think the short days are just adding to my mood - always been a winter blues person - but it's not even winter yet. I feel like the days just go on forever.
I know I am preaching to the choir - and partially just needed to vent to people who get it. Not sure what I should do - but just getting it off my chest hopefully is a start.
:-?:evil:
I started working out this last week to give me some "me" time - hoping it will also help increase my energy levels and get my mood up. Hoping to start to redo the bathroom - something I am excited about - but still all I can do is think about curling up into a ball and pulling the blanket over my head. Just feeling so trapped knowing things are going to get worse and I have no control. I actually dread going home - don't want to deal with Jim or the kids or the dogs - just a reminder of how different life is. Just generally annoyed about everything - which makes me more upset with myself. - just that vicious cycle. I have sought out support groups and even seen a counselor. These support groups have helped but the counselor was useless - good the first couple of sessions to get everything off my chest - but again just someone else who doesn't get it.
I think the short days are just adding to my mood - always been a winter blues person - but it's not even winter yet. I feel like the days just go on forever.
I know I am preaching to the choir - and partially just needed to vent to people who get it. Not sure what I should do - but just getting it off my chest hopefully is a start.
:-?:evil: