Jeff Long
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2011
- Messages
- 254
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 10/2011
- Country
- US
- State
- NC
- City
- Raleigh
... the big things getcha!
So, last night I’m putting air in the tire of my van (which we haven’t driven since June 2013) when I see a wasp nest inside the wheel well.
Thinking “I sure as hell don’t want to get stung by one of them *****es!”, I ‘jump’ back to avoid that to which I am nowadays quite allergic.
I say ‘jump’ but it was really more of a 'flail'. With great stealth I avoid the wasp. Cool, I missed the wee little bug. Didn’t miss the big sedan parked in the driveway though. No, I hit that sucker hard while trying to regain my balance post-‘jump’. All I really did was leave a large, sweaty mark on the door frame where I glanced off the car on my way toward the driveway.
Now, I’ve been drunk a time or two, so I have learned how to fall with some measure of grace. Not for style points, but to avoid serious injury on those long walks home. Using that great skill, I twisted so my backside would hit before my face… nice for me!
Hit the driveway butt first, elbow second and back of the head third, all in quick succession, and with absolutely zero resistance. Smacked 'em all full force, no slowing down! Hurt like hell too, all three of them! Stayed on the ground for a minute, mocking the wasp for not being able to catch me, before I got up and told the kids “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Thirty seconds later as I was throwing up I realized “fine” might be hopeful.
So, I have a concussion, my elbow is the size of my damn knee, and my backside hurts! But I didn’t get stung by that sneaky little wasp bastard!
So, last night I’m putting air in the tire of my van (which we haven’t driven since June 2013) when I see a wasp nest inside the wheel well.
Thinking “I sure as hell don’t want to get stung by one of them *****es!”, I ‘jump’ back to avoid that to which I am nowadays quite allergic.
I say ‘jump’ but it was really more of a 'flail'. With great stealth I avoid the wasp. Cool, I missed the wee little bug. Didn’t miss the big sedan parked in the driveway though. No, I hit that sucker hard while trying to regain my balance post-‘jump’. All I really did was leave a large, sweaty mark on the door frame where I glanced off the car on my way toward the driveway.
Now, I’ve been drunk a time or two, so I have learned how to fall with some measure of grace. Not for style points, but to avoid serious injury on those long walks home. Using that great skill, I twisted so my backside would hit before my face… nice for me!
Hit the driveway butt first, elbow second and back of the head third, all in quick succession, and with absolutely zero resistance. Smacked 'em all full force, no slowing down! Hurt like hell too, all three of them! Stayed on the ground for a minute, mocking the wasp for not being able to catch me, before I got up and told the kids “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Thirty seconds later as I was throwing up I realized “fine” might be hopeful.
So, I have a concussion, my elbow is the size of my damn knee, and my backside hurts! But I didn’t get stung by that sneaky little wasp bastard!