Old 10-10-2012, 01:34 PM #1 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: Sandy Springs
State: Georgia
Country: US
Diagnosed: 10/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 512
frankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud of
frankb frankb is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: 2011
City: Sandy Springs
State: Georgia
Country: US
Diagnosed: 10/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 512
frankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud of
Default Jokes Thread

I don't understand why the Jokes Thread was locked, so, let's start another ! !

The musical didrector wasn't happy with the performance of one of the precussionists. Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally, in front of the orchestra, the director said in frustration, "when a musician just can't handle his instrument, they take it away, give him to sticks and make him a drummer!"
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "and if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
frankb is offline  
Old 10-10-2012, 06:57 PM #2 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: OO
State: OO
Country: OO
Interest: OOOO
Posts: 639
kiwisally is on a distinguished road
kiwisally kiwisally is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: 2011
City: OO
State: OO
Country: OO
Interest: OOOO
Posts: 639
kiwisally is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Good idea Frank, and very funny start!
kiwisally is offline  
Old 10-10-2012, 07:42 PM #3 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: Leduc County
State: AB
Country: Can
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 923
cervus is on a distinguished road
cervus cervus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: 2011
City: Leduc County
State: AB
Country: Can
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 923
cervus is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Thanks, Frank! Great start!

Hello Kiwisally!
cervus is offline  
Old 10-13-2012, 02:26 AM #4 (permalink)
Very Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Emerald
State: Kansas
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2008
Interest: Yesterday was the time of our lives
Posts: 1,019
Toto's Dorothy is on a distinguished road
Toto's Dorothy Toto's Dorothy is offline
Very Helpful Member
Join Date: 2012
City: Emerald
State: Kansas
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2008
Interest: Yesterday was the time of our lives
Posts: 1,019
Toto's Dorothy is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Good one Frank. I will have to tell my girls that as they were all in the school band, 2 playing percussion.
Toto's Dorothy is offline  
Old 10-17-2012, 02:00 PM #5 (permalink)
marypat's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
marypat marypat is offline
Member
marypat's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Med school exam


Several young men intent on going to medical school; the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.

One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect."

Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors ... The rest ended up in Congress
marypat is offline  
Old 10-17-2012, 02:11 PM #6 (permalink)
CindyRN's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Great Falls
State: Montana
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 111
CindyRN is on a distinguished road
CindyRN CindyRN is offline
Member
CindyRN's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: Great Falls
State: Montana
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 111
CindyRN is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Good One Marypat!
CindyRN is offline  
Old 10-19-2012, 04:39 PM #7 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: Sandy Springs
State: Georgia
Country: US
Diagnosed: 10/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 512
frankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud of
frankb frankb is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: 2011
City: Sandy Springs
State: Georgia
Country: US
Diagnosed: 10/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 512
frankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud offrankb has much to be proud of
Default Re: Jokes Thread

great one, Marypat. I laughed yesterday and am laughing again today ! !
frankb is offline  
Old 10-23-2012, 06:23 PM #8 (permalink)
marypat's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
marypat marypat is offline
Member
marypat's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

"Testicle Therapy"

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!
marypat is offline  
Old 10-23-2012, 06:32 PM #9 (permalink)
vzandt's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: Noneknown
State: N.H.
Country: US
Diagnosed: 04/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 572
vzandt is on a distinguished road
vzandt vzandt is offline
Senior Member
vzandt's Avatar
Join Date: 2011
City: Noneknown
State: N.H.
Country: US
Diagnosed: 04/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 572
vzandt is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Just read that one to my husband Marypat. He laughed out loud. I love it when he laughs out loud.
vzandt is offline  
Old 10-23-2012, 07:58 PM #10 (permalink)
marypat's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
marypat marypat is offline
Member
marypat's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

mine did too! glad to share the smiles
marypat is offline  
Old 10-24-2012, 12:56 AM #11 (permalink)
peter57's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2009
City: Millicent
State: S.A.
Country: AUS
Diagnosed: 10/2008
Interest: I have been diagnosed with UMND/PLS.
Posts: 434
peter57 is on a distinguished road
peter57 peter57 is offline
Member
peter57's Avatar
Join Date: 2009
City: Millicent
State: S.A.
Country: AUS
Diagnosed: 10/2008
Interest: I have been diagnosed with UMND/PLS.
Posts: 434
peter57 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Hears one from "down under"



Kia Ora you fullahs (and gidday dingos)
Three Australians and three Maori's are travelling by train to a
Rugby match at the World Cup in England . At the station, the three
Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maori's buy just one
Ticket between them.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks
One of the Aussies. "Watch and learn bro," answers one of the Maori's

They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats
But all three Maori's cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
Collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket
Please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket
In hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on.

The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after
The game, they decide to go one better on the return trip and save
Some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they get to the station for the return trip, the Maoris buy a single
Ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don't buy
A ticket at all!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed
Maori.

"Watch and learn bro, " answers an Aussie ...

When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and
Soon after the three Maori's cram into another nearby. The train
Departs.

Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves the toilet and walks
Over to the toilet where the Maoris are hiding. He knocks on the door
And says, "Ticket please."



Cheers

Peter
peter57 is offline  
Old 10-24-2012, 01:05 AM #12 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: Leduc County
State: AB
Country: Can
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 923
cervus is on a distinguished road
cervus cervus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: 2011
City: Leduc County
State: AB
Country: Can
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 923
cervus is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Tsk tsk! Good one!
cervus is offline  
Old 10-24-2012, 09:26 AM #13 (permalink)
momap53's Avatar
Very Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: EGA
State: GA
Country: US
Diagnosed: 05/2011
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 1,644
momap53 is on a distinguished road
momap53 momap53 is offline
Very Helpful Member
momap53's Avatar
Join Date: 2011
City: EGA
State: GA
Country: US
Diagnosed: 05/2011
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 1,644
momap53 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Very good, guys! Keep 'em coming!
momap53 is offline  
Old 10-24-2012, 10:39 AM #14 (permalink)
CindyRN's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Great Falls
State: Montana
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 111
CindyRN is on a distinguished road
CindyRN CindyRN is offline
Member
CindyRN's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: Great Falls
State: Montana
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 111
CindyRN is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

Good ones Marypat and Peter!
CindyRN is offline  
Old 10-24-2012, 01:41 PM #15 (permalink)
marypat's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
marypat marypat is offline
Member
marypat's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: london
State: OHIO
Country: US
Diagnosed: 11/2010
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 272
marypat is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jokes Thread

lov it peter!
marypat is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
age


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
jokes vickim Comedy, Humour and Jokes 10 05-15-2014 12:30 AM
mother's day jokes vickim Comedy, Humour and Jokes 1 05-10-2014 07:26 PM
jokes vickim Comedy, Humour and Jokes 22 03-02-2014 02:58 PM
jokes vickim Comedy, Humour and Jokes 131 11-06-2013 01:17 PM
Jokes Thread! brooksea Comedy, Humour and Jokes 139 10-05-2012 10:50 PM
Glen Brittle Jokes Thread! brooksea Comedy, Humour and Jokes 54 03-29-2012 10:33 PM
Jokes Thread GlenBrittle Comedy, Humour and Jokes 618 02-22-2012 08:22 PM
Thanksgiving Jokes or Funny Thanksgivings! brooksea Comedy, Humour and Jokes 0 11-20-2011 03:23 PM
Military jokes! brooksea Comedy, Humour and Jokes 6 09-22-2010 12:08 AM
Jokes Thread GlenBrittle Stories of Hope 142 03-12-2010 05:28 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:56 PM.

 

Who we are

"We are a volunteer-driven online community that originated in 2003. We are a resource for anyone affected by ALS and MND. We are a community of like-minded and compassionate individuals. Together we are the ALS Forum and together we build this online resource and online community."

 

Want to help?

Have you found our website helpful? Do you enjoy having a place to talk to people that are knowledgeable about ALS and MND? If you have found it helpful to chat with people at different stages of the ALS/MND journey we encourage you to get involved.

Copyright © 2016