Old 05-05-2011, 10:33 PM #1426 (permalink)
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Kim- that really really sucks that your pooch passed away. i am so very sorry hon. glad you were there with him though. i hate the idea of a beloved pet being alone when they die...

Avril- that is EXCELLENT news. so happy to hear this. maybe those forehead kisses are working?! hope your mom finds all her spunk once again. and yes. you can be silly with me. id love the company!

Ann- i love me some prunes. youre not alone. LOL. seriously though. i do. i get made fun of by 60 somethings all of the time...
I dont eat em to poo. i eat em cuz they are tastey. and to poo. but who needs to know that?

Helen- husbands are dumb alot of the time. not all of em. but they are really just oversized children. send him my way- if he thinks louder means he's winning, well- ive got something he needs to hear!

Where is Aly today? Did i miss her posts? or forget? if i forgot, Aly, dont take it personally. you know- brain farts and all. clearly too many prunes...

Joni- the blahs stink but hopefully after a good nights rest you will feel better.

Everyone else- lots of love.
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Old 05-05-2011, 10:34 PM #1427 (permalink)
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OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH...... the moderation game.....
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:59 AM #1428 (permalink)
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Thanks Joyce and Liz... what frustrates me is the fact that if ANYTHING has to get done around here, I have to tell people several times to do it... and he's the worst as he says, "the kids don't do anything, why should I?" like that's a good reason. How old is he anyway, 12? He's supposed to be SETTING the example, not using them as an excuse. And supporting us financially has been a total joke for more than 7 years or so, it's the other way around. I would have lost this house if it weren't for my Mom's help. He's like your college age son, ..."she'll take care of it, why should I?" attitude. He never starts anything without being told multiple times that it needs to be done, and then most of the time he doesn't finish it or put stuff away afterwards. I gave up years ago on this, and would just do it myself (which was his goal in the first place), but now I just can't do it. He just doesn't get it, and never will... he thinks by doing what help he has been doing, that he doesn't need to step up and do anything else. Like "I did the dishes last week 2x, so don't say that I don't do anything"... or "I didn't eat here all week, why should I do them?" I finally said to him a few months ago, "how many times do you use that toilet in the last 20 years, vs how many times have you CLEANED it?" He's clueless! I wouldn't mind the lack of money so much if he were actually helpful and considerate of ANY of us, but he always thinks of himself first.

So it's 7:45 a.m. here, and I got up at 6:45 with the kids... guess where he is?
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Old 05-06-2011, 09:39 AM #1429 (permalink)
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Did I scare everyone away? Sorry...
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:43 AM #1430 (permalink)
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No, Helen--but have to go eat before the aide comes. I have total sympathy for your situation. Once again, I'm grateful for Phil, and feel a bit guilty that I have much more than I deserve! Keep Shawn...maybe I said that on the last page already, but I surely was thinking it when I read your post this morning!
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:47 AM #1431 (permalink)
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Good morning friends! It is always so nice to come here and know that I am surrounded by loving, caring, compassionate people - truly a blessing!

Avril - I am so glad to hear that your Mom is improving. I pray that she continues in a positive direction.

Kimberly - Thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope you and the family are doing well today.

Ann - Prunes are my daughters favorite! She is my fruit and veggie gal anyway. Can't get her brother to touch them with a 10 foot pole though. Zoe would eat a whole bag and suffer serious tummy issues after. Then would ask for more.

Helen - You did not scare anyone away. I am so sorry your hubby is being a little bit of a butt. I wish I had wonderful words of wisdom for you. Just know that we are all here for you to vent and yell and scream. (hugs)

Joni - I hope that the sun is shining where you are today! Hopefully a restful night has sent the blahs packing for good.

Diane - Happy and safe travels. Enjoy!

Ann - I was so happy to hear that your new aide is working out well. Glad things are moving in a positive direction for you.

Joyce - So glad the kitchen is clean! I hope that this is a lesson learned and sticks for your son. My boy is 10 and my daughter is 6. They have no desire to clean their rooms at all. Even after I have helped, cajoled, and yelled. (sigh) I am at my wits end. I actually grounded them from all electronics until their rooms were cleaned. They immediately started playing board games with each other and reading more. It was wonderful! Except the rooms never got clean. AAHHHH!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday! We will have perfect Spring weather today. I get to play softball tonight and am looking forward to getting this old out of shape body out on the diamond.
Love and light
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:51 AM #1432 (permalink)
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Helen I hear your frustration and believe me I know exactly where you are at. Your husband sounds alot like mine. He also sounds alot like my youngest son. Not to be nosy or anything but to bring up a point, has he ever been tested for either ADD or ADHD? You have a son on the autistic spectrum and it is very much can be inherited. My husband has ADHD. I didn't know it when I married him. But when we had been married for a while it came up in conversation that they had him on retalin when he was a kid. That is when I learned what ADHD is about and then when my youngest son was born and they diagnosed him with it, I was already on top of what needed to be done. Although it didn't help with his sensory issues.

Not saying that that is an excuse. But if your husband is not completing jobs then that could be a strong indicator. Also not being able to keep a job is another indicator, then they give up. In his mind he might see the job as complete. Or he got distracted and forgot to finish. Not uncommon for attention problems. Who knows...maybe a checklist of exactly what you would like done would help him to get it done. Or when things are not so crazy, a calm discussion on how he felt school was (in a round about way) to get insight on if he felt frustrated, or if he was a A,B student or a C,D student.

He might genuinely want to help but doesn't have the tools in his brain to keep things orginized in his thoughts to do easy tasks. Or he is a bum. But you married him for a reason and this has been going on for a long time and sounds like it has been consistant. After I learned about my hubby's ADHD, I was able to understand more when he became obstanate or hyperfocused on things. I understood and was able to motivate him much like I do my son with autism who actually is the one who helps the most in this family.

Just thoughts dear Helen. I pray that things can find a solution that keeps peace in your family. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:09 AM #1433 (permalink)
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Good morning all! I am proud to say that I made a pot o coffee and without a hitch this morning! Now I am sipping on a mint mocha made with my favorite italian chocolate that starts with a G. heavenly!

I am excited for it has promises of being a beautiful day outside today. The skies are clear after yesterdays thunder storms. And the ice on the lake is showing patches of open water that reflect the mountains and sky above. If it warms up enough my day will be spent out on the deck in hopes to get some of my pots out of storage and put in some seedlings of herbs and such.

So I just wanted to pop in and wish you all a happy day, evening or night...where ever you are in the world!
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Old 05-06-2011, 01:06 PM #1434 (permalink)
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Good morning all. Lurking about but feeling just too tired to write much. Have woken up at 4 am again, probably doesn't help.

Been enjoying the chatter. Helen , why don't you just kick him out? Can't see him stepping up to the plate and helping you enough anyway. You don't need all the stress and neither do the kids. You certainly make me realize just how lucky I am.

Avril, so very pleased that your mum is better and smiling, what a huge relief.

We have got our tickets to go to England to visit my daughter Katie and new husband Andrew. I am really not wanting to go. I can't be bothered, but had promised her. Hubby will stay on and start his time in Utrecht for his Phd. Buying the tickets has been a nightmare. The computer played up and I ended up with 2 tickets, Sam missed his flight from London to Auckland last week? Apparently April was put in instead of July! Expensive mistake, but the airline has been kind and only charged us $50 instead of $ 700. Now we can't get him on the plane out of Auckland, because they said we didn't confirm it in time , which we did. Oh I am so glad it wasn't me that made the mistakes,

It's Saturday morning. Still dark out and I can hear the rain. It's SAMs first soccer game and Hubby is driving the school minivan with the boarders. I shall feel an overwhelming desire to vacuum the house.

I have been too tired to do any housework and the place is a mess. I need a Joni to help. Maybe I will fly her here and she can be my housekeeper.

Helen, why don't you leave the kids with your Hubby and come spend a month in NZ? That will make them all stand up and have to work. You are most welcome.

Love to you all
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:01 PM #1435 (permalink)
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Good Afertnoom Ladies amd Gents,

Beuatiful aftrenoon here. a littel chilly im the sjhade but sun is warm. Thjandks for the comncerns; burial wemt smoothly, not a dry eye im thje "cemetray". We hjace 3 xtra lg dogs left amd rumming uot of burial plots im the yuard! Aftre these r gone no more. It's just 2 hjard.

Avril, I \am so happy Mum is doimg berrer! Enmjoy Mothre's Day witjh er. Amnd like I said b4, I prauy 1 of my girls will become at least half of u. I knmow uour mother feels blessed to jhace uou as jher dauhgtre!

Ann, I am glad hospoice is worikng out well! Uou seem 2 b a little bit brihgtre. But ecen whjen u r dowm, u alwsays seem chipoer.

Helem, Get rid of the BUM! He's mot pullomg his weoihgt, relaese amd dom't cathc him agaim. I remembre u sayimg he's returnde many x's nbut nothing chamges. Buy that smallre huose with no xtra BR 4 him! I am blessde 2 hace a womdreful hubby, NOT! Hje had a meetimg in Columbia 2day for his soccre "seed" amd told me I wuol;d jhace to drice the kids (40 miles) 2 school 2day (1 way). Thjen he didm't even leave til like 10:00. And his car gets nbettre gas mileage thjan mine! Amnd work aruomd the huose; BOY thjat's a joke! Every fall jhe promises to blow tjhe leaces amd tjhat doesm't get dome till sprimg comes amd jhe does the 1st mowimg. I ecem buohgt him a leaf blorew so hje doesn't hace 2 rake! Amd jhe wuoldn't kmow how to cleam anyhting (prob similar 2 urs Joyce), when he has washed dishes b4 I hjad 2 rewsah tjhem bc they were greasy. If u want something done rihgt, do it urself!

Joni, hope 2day is a bettre day 4 u. I pray this fimds u refershed amd renewwd!

Meg, Enjou tjhd softball game 2nihgt. Thje last x I plaued softnball, I was hit inm the chest/berast aere! Maynbe that's Y I din't get any boobs. Thje ball pushed it inwarsde.

Dianne, if U have ledt on UR trip, Safe travels! Will B prayung 4 safe return.

Liz, didn't C anythimg in UR post 4 it 2 Be moderatde. Maybe U R a marked woman!

Did I miss amy1? I hooe not. If I did, I apologixe. I must hjace gotten the brain Fatrs from Liz! I used 2 call it "some-timers" disease (meaning some times I have a briam, sometimes I don't) but now it's gettimg 2 B all the time hence all-timers!

HJace 2 go, have a good dauy. I won't. Hubby is home from meeting and is whining he jhasn't felt well sinxe Tues; says mayb he's sufferinf from exhaustoin! Oh, gice me a break.

Love 2 all!
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:30 PM #1436 (permalink)
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Thank you all for listening to my venting... Joyce, I believe you must be psychic, he indeed is very ADD (definitely no "H" in him), and I should remember that I guess. But that still doesn't mean he can't do better around here, especially with the kids. Aly, I would love to go see you, but I can't leave my kids in his hands! Maybe if I hit the lottery I'll go and visit every one of you. Kim, sorry about your dog, I know what you mean about not getting another one, but then you'll see another one that needs a home and that will be the end of that.
Meg, hope you enjoy the softball, its a beautiful day here, hope its equally there, just a great day to be outside. I just sat out on my porch for over an hour, basking in the sun. Felt SO good to do absolutely nothing for a while.

My daughter walked downtown a while ago with 3 friends to get their "mani and pedis" done for tomorrow's prom. I'll have to upload photos of her in her dress tomorrow. She's going in a limo with 19 others, mostly girls... and they have a school after party for the rest of the night so no one goes out drinking and driving.

Love you all, thanks again!
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:57 PM #1437 (permalink)
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Now that's a good idea Helen. We have done animal photos, we could show off our gorgeous offspring showing ball( prom) photos. Just an excuse to be proud mums and dads. Not trying to exclude the people with no kids. Sorry.

And Kimberley, I go away for a day and you forget me, boo hoo

I was very busy on the treadmil when Hubby left for soccer, way too busy to go along and watch, the boring game, in the cold, from the sideline tee hee hee...........that meant to sound like and evil laugh, by the way

So for you Friday people, nothing too dramatic has happened in the world, oh except our rampant, Maori activist Hone Harawera, who has stupidly said that Osama Ben laden was a freedom fighter! Now that has upset everybody, including the world! He has just been thrown out of his own Maori party and started his own political party. A dangerous man, that's for sure.

Can feel Liz going red in the face, the heat has crossed the Pacific ocean!
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:52 PM #1438 (permalink)
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hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't been around lately just getting things ready for my parents to come. They will be here on Monday and I'm so excited. I have my house spit spot!
Well an update on mom. She will be in a wheel chair soon unfortunely her legs are becoming weaker. It is so hard to be a
long distance caregiver and I'm looking forward to them moving up here. I hope they sell there home soon so I can spend all my time with my parents. I'm very scared of what will happen next. I wish and pray that there is a mircle pill that comes out soon for all of you.
Happy mothers day to all the mom's out there!
Sandy
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Old 05-06-2011, 08:06 PM #1439 (permalink)
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Hi Sandy, enjoy your visit with your parents! And no more cleaning, it makes the rest of us look bad!
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Old 05-06-2011, 08:18 PM #1440 (permalink)
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Ditto Sandy, good to hear from you. Have a great time with your folks. Thinking of you all
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