View Full Version : FORUM FOLLIES: House/Twilight Zone
brooksea
10-16-2009, 11:34 PM
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition. Rod Serling
Although he walked with a very exaggerated limp and had an eye (just one) for the ladies, little did anyone on staff know what he held within that cane. His eye for the ladies was a ruse. His other eye was always seeking opportune moments to use his experimental formula.
Tonight would be special...He had a twitcher...
As he approaches Dr. (Cutty) Rose about his need for approval of the procedure he is about to attempt, He is interrupted as he passes the ER. It is filled with what can only be called a "twitching fifth dimension!" He swears to himself that he saw something move as he rounded the corner and pulled the curtain.
Dr. Chase (Barry) asks, "Need something? Or are you here to join the ranks mate?"
Zaphoon
10-17-2009, 10:50 AM
Was it real or imagined? This is a question that commonly haunted Pat, a person now in continual distress regarding everything encountered. Pat could not distinguish reality from a dream but new something was amiss.
"If I could only get in to see Dr. House!" Pat thought, "He could get to the bottom of things for me (or maybe even the top)!
Pat's problems had come on suddenly last week. First came the sensation of pins and needles, then the numbness in the "nether regions" followed by uncontrolable twitching that caused the entire body to undulate. The most troublesome symptom, though, was an almost continual flatulence of a substance never before expelled. Strangely, it had an odor that was almost pleasing to the olfactory senses. With every expulsion, however, came an orangeish hue that brought about clouded vision for a period just long enough for Pat to see into the 5th dimension (which, of course, was a new phenomena to Pat).
In this new (or imagined) reality brought about by the orangeish hue, brought about by the almost continual flatulence, Pat could see things in an alternate reality and there could be seen Dr. House. House was fiddling with his cane. Pat thought the tune, "Blue Bells Of Scotland" could be heard eminating from it. Why was house fiddling with his cane?
The answer came about in the 3rd stanza as the tune began to wildly race into a series of hemidemisemiquavers. The cane began to elongate and open at the end to expose something Pat wasn't sure was real or imagined.
(writers note: Pat's gender has not been revealed - for good reason yet to be disclosed.)
BethU
10-17-2009, 01:40 PM
Damn! I've been waiting to work the word hemidemisemiquavers into the Follies from the beginning, and you beat me to it. Now I'll have to start over.
Zaphoon
10-17-2009, 01:46 PM
I could have said, "The tune began to wildly race into a series of 64th notes..." but it just seemed more poetic the other way. If you insist, I'll tone down my literary prowess. I would like to add the flatulence is usually preferred over fart, farts and farting.
PZ (hmph)
GlenBrittle
10-17-2009, 04:34 PM
Dr. Chase (Barry) asks, "Need something? Or are you here to join the ranks mate?"
"When you and Dr. Cameron (CJ) are finished swabbing each other for seminal fluids, please "join" , no , "come" , no , dammmit we have a twitcher"
BethU
10-17-2009, 06:19 PM
Double dog damn! I built a WHOLE EPISODE around the word humph, and some wobbly toy beat me to it again. Now I'll have to start all over.
Pshaw! Piffle, I say. PIFFLE!
GlenBrittle
10-17-2009, 06:43 PM
A fart is a happy thing.
Especially for those of you that are infected with the EL (Emotional Lability) .
When you say the word "flatulence" it conjures up images of what ?
a parent or grandparent about to smack you for being rude at the dinner table (or so I have read)
The thought that grampa crapped his pants while sleeping again ?
That dreaded trip to the old age home ?
Now , when you say the word "fart" do you start giggling ?
do you fart while you giggle ? Would they be happy farts ?
There is the fart contest , who can get who ?
How many wives have seen a "Dutch Oven" !!!!
Did you get caught with your mouth open ?
How funny would Duck Flatulence be ?
Obviously , you can see that two different words for the same action can have opposite impact on you.
brooksea
10-17-2009, 09:34 PM
"Luuk, I'm too busy to go off on one of your gisses," says Chase/Barry. "What do you really want?"
"I'm telling you the fifth dimension has opened up and the twitching is beyond control. You are going to help me stop this madness!"
Cameron replies, "And why should we?"
"Because it's a virus! It's spreading! This makes the H1N1 look like a stubbed pig's toe!"
They all look at each other knowingly, wondering why there is no world-wide registry for twitching...
"But I've got a hunch. It's something in my Bones (sorry wrong show) - I mean my cane!"
BarryG
10-17-2009, 10:26 PM
"Well, we had better call in the CDC, FBI, CIA, RCMP, MI6, KGB, and every other acronym agency we can think of because this is serious" says Doctor Chase "It could be a plot of Osama Bin Shoppin and we can use all the help we can get"
"Don't be so clueless, if we're going to call anyone it should the Ghost Busters but we don't have time" Dr. House interrupts "The Fifth Dimension waits for no man, now let's get to work"
All of the intrepid medical crew make their way through the funny, fruity, fragrant, fermenting, fantastic, floating flatulence (I do love adjectives) toward Patrick/Patricia, the transgendered twitcher (or is that switcher? I am so confused).
"Relax sir/madam, we are here to help" coos Dr. Cutty in her most soothing voice. "We just need to take some small samples" she says as Dr. House pulls a 4 liter syringe out of his cane.....
tdamess
10-17-2009, 10:42 PM
run pat run
GlenBrittle
10-17-2009, 10:52 PM
Its Pat looks at House and gets glossy eyed "Are you the Key-Master?" which comes out in both a feminine and masculine voice and the hips start to twitch.
House looks at Cuddy and says "Halloween is starting early this year - lets just see whats inside" and starts looking for a vein to drain.
Cuddy asks "When was the last time you drew blood ?" "Cameron , get some blood samples"
"Its funny , I had a weird vico-dream that I was a vet , getting a blood sample from a hell-hound " says House "and it asked me the same thing - coincidence? " looking at Cuddy
Pat starts hyper twitching - almost as if he/she was panting.
brooksea
10-17-2009, 11:02 PM
Osama Bin Shoppin Heels are optional!
LOL Barry! That visual cracks me up!
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
peter57
10-18-2009, 01:35 AM
House come here, quick and check out the colour of this blood i just got.
My god replied house after he made it without a twitch its orange with a tinge of green.
Send it away for a complete rundown, checking especially for LPT's, OTS's, GNS's and FARTS's.
What on earth are those checks House, replied Cameron i havent heard of them.
well they are for
Lower Leg Tremmors
Overall Twitches and Shakes
Giant nodding syndrome
and the one i suspect Pat has
Fifth and Rapid Transgression Syndrome
that would explain the orange blood but the green well we will wait and see.
Dr Cutty's, inappropriately high stiletto heels click furiously as she strides over to take a closer look at the vial. She lets out her (signature) sigh of exasperation, grabs House by the shirt front and draws him close. She murmurs between clinched teeth, in a voice so low only he can hear it.... pssswssshhh psssswshssss [NOTE to reader, this is not code language, remember, only HOUSE can hear her!]
House laughs his sardonic laugh, and turns to his team: Start Pat on an IV, 8 parts saline, two parts this: He withdraws a small cylinder from his lab coat pocket. Then he whipped a FT out of the other pocket. Cameron's eyes grew large as saucers. Is that what I think it is, she gasped. House smirked. Yes, it is a Flatulence Trap. It is on loan from the geriatric ward. The newer improved Fart Trap would be preferable, but the hospital's board of directors, once again, has denied me the funding necessary to do research with anything other than the most rudimentary equipment.
edit add:
Note to the forum "boys" It seems Nurse Rose's avatar got LOST. Sorry about that.
Note to the forum ladies, got my hair cut about 6" yesterday, what do you think? I'm already regretting it.
Rose-
It looks great! But then again, I think you would look great with your head shaved!
(it's still long enough to pull back & up; but I'm sure will be easier with washing & drying!)
Zaphoon
10-18-2009, 12:46 PM
Pat doesn't know if all of this is real, imagined or Memorex but loves the new cut on Dr. Cutty who just happens to have temporarily borrowed House's cane. Once again, Pat hears the cane being fiddled with. This time, the tune rising from it is bluesie and sensuous and sends Dr. Cutty into an undulating frenzy.
House, now aware that his cane is missing, hears the music and sees the good Dr. Cutty in her fit of undulation. House realizes he must get his cane back from Cutty before the secret of the cane is revealed.
Meanwhile, Pat and #13 have introduced themselves to one another. Could this be the beginning of another inappropriate Dr./patient relationship?
BarryG
10-18-2009, 01:49 PM
Dr. Cutty is in such a fit of undulation and twitching that she starts to fall apart, well not really fall apart, but the shaking caused her great new hairdo to slip from her head. Revealing a beautiful, shaved head!
"Excuse me, that wasn't supposed to happen. Ever since I tried PZ's anti-twitching cream my hair just hasn't been the same and my hands got really huge"
"No problem" growls House "now if you will just give me back my cane I can use it to get between Pat and #13(?)"
BethU
10-18-2009, 03:53 PM
. . . funny, fruity, fragrant, fermenting, fantastic, floating flatulence (I do love adjectives)
also alliteration.
peter57
10-18-2009, 08:25 PM
As House heads to Pat and #13 with the intention of deploying his cane to seperate them from the embrace they are in, he notices that #13 sudenly jumps back and a strange undulation comming from Pat.
What the hell is going on here #13?
Well the Flatulence Trap seems to be working and i thought Pat might fall over so i grabbed on, thinking Pat was female,(and i might be in with a chance) then i felt this strange appendage from its stomach area sticking in to me, now i am not sure what Pat is.
Good news it however the Trap is working and the CIA is waiting to get it so it doesnt fall into the wrong hands.
peter57
10-19-2009, 05:02 AM
The orange flatulence ended up being only the result of too many oranges so the CIA lost interest.
The Twilight zone holds many unknowns like
Just who was Pat?
What was House's secret with his cane?
Who was #13?
These secrets and more will have to be unravelled in future episodes of
"The TwilightZone"
thelma313
10-19-2009, 06:37 AM
Bravo Everyone!!!! I just read this week's installment. Being a big fan of both House and the Twilight Zone, and an even bigger fan of the Follies, I LOVED it! You are all so imaginative. I really think that the Forum Follies need to be collected and published in an anthology. Seriously.
I am back! I survived the big move this weekend. It went very smoothly but was just a lot of work. My friends and I moved 8 carloads of my stuff over on Thursday night and Friday during the day so I saved a lot on the actual moving expenses on Saturday. Now Monday morning, I am almost all unpacked! I have 6 boxes left. The best news I've heard so far, is that my dad will be able to visit with the aid of assisted transportation. I am so happy about that because I know that he will be so thrilled when he sees my new home. I miss him so much! This is the first weekend since he and my mom got back from Florida in March that I haven't seen him but my mom keeps me fully updated and gives him the hugs and kisses I send over the phone.
I missed you all too, my Forum Follies bunch! :)
Rosella
peter57
10-21-2009, 04:45 AM
Hi there,
Now that the weekend is over it is time to think of the next folly.
I have an idea for one but it is a little different to the norm, (it will be based on a movie but it will have a twist. (dont they all)
I am sure all will pick up on it (especially Kim):wink:
So if you are happy with this i will post it Sat. morning my time, Friday night in US etc.
this will give you some time to think of some quirky replies.
There will be room for all in it (and any new ones who want to join in too).
(some different roles for some regulars on the follies too, sorry Barry):wink:
And no i am not going to tell you Kim what it is about.
So do you want it?
cheers:lol:
Peter.
GlenBrittle
10-21-2009, 09:09 AM
Peter,
I am up to your challenge.
So , we will have to wait , without preparing for it. AWESOME
Bring it on.
Glen
Peter,
I'm not going to be around until later on Sunday, but I look forward to reading what has transpired.
brooksea
10-21-2009, 08:46 PM
Just bring it on!
BarryG
10-22-2009, 01:11 AM
Oh the anticipation! Peter, I cant wait to find out but I am a little worried when you apologize to me in advance. :-o
"Sat. morning my time, Friday night in US etc."
I always knew that you were way ahead of all us North Americans :-P:-P
