Devestated and empty..........

[feeling helpless]

I lost dad today. I just wanted evryone to know that in the end, after months of pain and struggling he went to sleep on Sunday morning after a night of aggitation. The nurses upped his syringe driver and roused him to tell him this was it now and he nodded in acceptance. We struggled with him over the last few days to manage his pain but the district nurses were wonderful running back and forth to the farmhouse to top him up. Yesterday we got the mix just right and he gradually slipped into a coma.
We both had the chance to say what we needed to even though it was hard to understand him at times we both told each other we loved one another and i told him how proud of him i was and how brave he had been. About 3am he lost colour and his breathing changed. For the first time in months he seemed reaxed and comfortable and his breathing was calm and effortless. Hard to beleive he had ever had such chronic breathing difficulties at all. We finally lost him at 1.45pm in the afternoon. If we had blinked we would have missed his passing it was that calm , but we had been watching him like a hawk for 5 days and nights running and noticed the slight change quickly. It was over in seconds. He gave one tiny breath and was gone. No pain, no struggle, no effort. We are the only ones struggling now............so strong , so brave, he fought this awful disease with everything he had. I hope this will put many minds at ease of how peaceful it can be if you get the right mix of morphine and midazolam. Icannot thank everyone enough from all of you on alsforums, district nurses, M.N.D nurses, hospice staff and G.P's. You've been great. Still very raw, my 10 yr old is finding it tough as he was very close to Grandad. ...... and finally.........."Goodnight Dad, Rest In Peace, I love you"...xxxxx :cry:

[hopingforcure]

Gosh, how encouraging and sad, at the same time. I am so sorry for your loss, but so relieved with the peace your father found, it does are hearts good to hear this sweet passing.. I hope your son will find comfort in your loving arms. Please dont be a stranger. Hugs to you family.

[mare]

Dear Feeling Helpless,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I hope you will find the peace and serenity that I'm sure your dad would want for you.
And, I hope you no longer feel helpless-

With sympathy-
mare

[handinhand]

I lost dad today. I just wanted evryone to know that in the end, after months of pain and struggling he went to sleep on Sunday morning after a night of aggitation. The nurses upped his syringe driver and roused him to tell him this was it now and he nodded in acceptance. We struggled with him over the last few days to manage his pain but the district nurses were wonderful running back and forth to the farmhouse to top him up. Yesterday we got the mix just right and he gradually slipped into a coma.
We both had the chance to say what we needed to even though it was hard to understand him at times we both told each other we loved one another and i told him how proud of him i was and how brave he had been. About 3am he lost colour and his breathing changed. For the first time in months he seemed reaxed and comfortable and his breathing was calm and effortless. Hard to beleive he had ever had such chronic breathing difficulties at all. We finally lost him at 1.45pm in the afternoon. If we had blinked we would have missed his passing it was that calm , but we had been watching him like a hawk for 5 days and nights running and noticed the slight change quickly. It was over in seconds. He gave one tiny breath and was gone. No pain, no struggle, no effort. We are the only ones struggling now............so strong , so brave, he fought this awful disease with everything he had. I hope this will put many minds at ease of how peaceful it can be if you get the right mix of morphine and midazolam. Icannot thank everyone enough from all of you on alsforums, district nurses, M.N.D nurses, hospice staff and G.P's. You've been great. Still very raw, my 10 yr old is finding it tough as he was very close to Grandad. ...... and finally.........."Goodnight Dad, Rest In Peace, I love you"...xxxxx :cry:

I am so sorry for your loss. I am just learning how to deal with the news of this awful illness I have been struck with. My concern is my family and how to make this easy for them. I hope I can be brave like your Father.... Wonderful to know that he isn't hurting any longer... Linda

[BLPhill]

Felling Helpless,

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your father, but happy you were able to say your goodbyes and be there when he passed.

Take Care

[Phil M]

Sorry for the loss. Be happy for him.

[danjay]

We all must pass through this door someday. May we all do it with this peace and surrounded by this kind of love.

[Valerie]

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May you find comfort and strength in the happy memories you hold of your father.

[brooksea]

So very sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace...

[Al]

So sorry for your loss.

AL.

[kylisa]

Headed in the same direction you just passed through. I hope my mother passes as peacefully as your father. May you find comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering.

[KeeKer]

My sympathies to you and your family on your loss.

[BarryG]

Dear Feeling Helpless, My condolences on the loss of your dad, I am glad that the end was peaceful for him. All the best to you and your family.

Barry

[Jeannie]

I am so sorry for your loss...may he rest in peace. Let it comfort you to know he is now no longer suffering and is at peace. You are in my thoughts and prayers
In friendship
Jeannie

[froggy102]

Feeling helpless, gosh am sorry, but, how weird, we had my dad's funeral yesterday, he died on the 7th. Very similar thing, just went to sleep and didn't wake up. I wasn't there but my mum was


This will be a very very odd week for you before the funeral. I sat around drinking and smoking too much. Am going back to work on 29th June I think. It's bloody awful and not fair that this terrible thing took ours dads

*hugs*

[thelma313]

Dear Feeling Helpless, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your brave Dad. I am thankful that the end was peaceful for him and that you had the opportunity to tell him all that you needed to say. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. I hope you find strength in the obvious love you all have for one another. You have my deepest sympathies.

[dldred]

I am sorry for your loss, it sounds like it was a very peaceful passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sure your Dad is watching over you now.

Dana

[imanzcan]

feeling helpless......may your dear dad rest in peace. May our Father help you through this difficult time. Yesterday was my son's birthday. He would've been 41. I lost him at an early age of 38 on June, 3, 2007. May God bless each one of you.

Irma

[abbas child]

Dear Feeling Helpless, thank you for sharing your father's peaceful passing with all of us. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve.

[loretta]

I am so sorry for your loss, but, it is great that you were there by his side. It is wonderful to hear of the peace that he felt, this horrible disease is so painful, it is comforting to know that in the end, they are free. God Bless you and your son, with each others strength, you too will find peace. Stay strong!!

[MtPockets]

This is for you:

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t172/ShakeyMarble/Christian/StairWay.jpg

[Zaphoon]

I'm sorry for your loss. Please know that you made a huge difference during your dad's illness by helping him be more comfortable and bringing happiness into his day. Thanks for being there for your dad. My condolences to you and your family.

Kim

[froggy102]

feeling helpless, thinking of you, especially as tomorrow is bloomin father's day, our dads timed it well huh! do let me know if there is anythhign I can do. We have over 400 people at dad's funeral on thursday! If you need any advice re anything or just a virual hug do SHOUT :)xxxxx

[Marjorie R. Wilcox]

We are thankful for his peaceful passing, and pray that the good memories will sustain you. God bless.

[feeling helpless]

Gosh, how do i express my thanx to you all......... :D dads funeral is on Monday , we have over 300 attending that we know of, it so surreal, like we are organising this for someone else. Incidentally i didn't celebrate fathers day this year , didn't seem right and my kids were very understanding. My youngest wants to read a poem at the funeral, he's only 10 but i think he needs to do this last thing for grandad, pray for him please... he'll probably do better than me !! Thank you all, you will certainly hear from me again, I will always be available to those still in need of help and support. x

[froggy102]

Hope yesterday went OK, was thinking of you. we had over 400 people there, was amazing

am back at work now, just doesnt feel real, think dad still in hospital or at home

let me know how you are