I dropped Him

[whimsy_1971]

I dont even know where to begin. I feel so scared, awful, and just terrible.

Yesterday I was attempting to transfer my husband who was very week from a trip the day before. His legs were so week. I dropped him, he feel and hit his head on the floor so hard. I called for ambualnce as he was kind of out of it and moaned at first. Then he started coming around and he kept asking what happened so I knew something was wrong. (I kept thinking omg what have I done, I hurt him. What if I hurt him bad, omg what have I done)

I hurt my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at him so lifeless and helpless laying on the floor in a daze and I paniced. Im a 911 dispatcher and I freeked. I cant beleave I hurt my husband. I cried all day and night. Im so afraid of what will happend next. Why dont we get the help we need. Why do things like this have to happen. We should get more support, more help. Why does it have to be so hard. :evil:

Im so tired of not having help. I cant do this by myself anymore. I dont know what to do. :cry::confused::evil:

[sharonca]

Christy - you did the best you could do with what you had. Please don't keep berating yourself. How is your husband? Do you have a hoyer lift? Have you asked for the loan of one? I'm sorry if you have told all this before - just trying to think of things that could help you in the future.

Sharonca

[crystalkk]

Christy,

It's not your fault, don't blame yourself you are doing a very good job.
Is your husband OK. Like Sharonca said look into a hoyer lift. In the meantime,
do you have any male neighbors that might be able to help you move him.
I"m sure if you do and you ask they will be very willing to help you with moves.

[MtPockets]

Christy,
It happens. It was not like you planned for it to happen. It was an accident.
Let me tell you just one of my stories I am not proud of.

My wife's dad had both of his legs cut off at the hip due to diabetes. He was in a wheelchair most of the time. Years ago we were taking him to town and I was wheeling him down the front steps, four or five steps, and the shock of him rolling to the next step snatched the wheelchair out of my hands and he fell back-wards and went down the steps, hitting his head on each step, and screaming out in pain, every time he hit a step.

He use to have red hair before it all turned Grey or loose. He had the temper to match and the vocabulary, wow. He let me know in words that would make a sailor blush, just what he thought of me, for dropping him.

I felt terrible. I deserved his tongue lashing. By the time we had returned home he had calmed down and we were on better terms. The family got together and built him a ramp, so this would never happen again.

It was an accident. Stuff happens, as some say. Forgive yourself.

[freddiesnetty]

I have dropped Freddie before and I know how you feel........It is a terrible feeling, but YOU can only do what you can do....I hope that you do not beat yourself up to bad. I am sorry you feel bad, I am in the hospital with Freddie and the pts and ots are showing me the hoyer that is a little freaky to me. See about getting one of these.Looks easy on the back:-D:-D Yours that is......
Netty

[patricia1]

Dont feel bad My husband dropped me twice in one day and he felt terrble, I dont blame him at all .he didnt realize my legs were so weak that day. Please I know how you feel My husband cried half the day.
He loves you Thank God for our caretakers. Without you we would b helpless

God bless\

Pat

[carma]

It was an unfortunate accident; could have happened to anyone. I've dropped my m-i-l and she has fallen on top of me!!! You can't let this get you down...get proactive instead. Like everyone said, look into the hoyer lift and perhaps you should look into hired help. Do you have insurance that would cover an RNA? Or simply a friend willing to help? I know how hard it is to reach out and ask but you will burn out.... maybe you already are. I showered my m-i-l for almost a year lifting her in and out of the bath bench and we fell more than once; I had to put my foot down and say I wouldn't do it anymore. It was too dangerous; she has people come in to wash her in her bed now. It is a hard thing to let go of all the things they use to do so freely,easily. And we can try our best for as long as we can manage to keep some normalcy to their lives but sometimes we have to do things differently. It's sad but it is what it is....

[whimsy_1971]

Dave had a mild concusion, has a good sized knot on his head and feels like he was beat up, but he's doing pretty good.

Ref to the Hoyer we go to the ALS Clinic on the 11th so hopefully will get a script for one there, or from the loan closet or something. I sure hope so.

Thanks for your kind words. I just dont know where I'd be without all your support.

[Jeannie]

Dear Christy,
I hope it works out with you and the hoyer lift. I think that will be of help once you familiarize yourself with using it. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please don't beat yourself up any more. You didn't mean to drop him and I am sure that he knows that you are doing your best.
This really is terrible though isn't it??? We recently called for a home health aide for my mother in law and found out they aren't covered by insurance. We can all pitch in and pay for one but I wonder how long that goes on for?? I really think ALS needs more attention, people don't understand how much our PALs need things and how much we could use the help.
Keep your chin up and know you are doing a great job
Jeannie

[fiddleplayer51]

Christy,
I'm sorry this experience happened to you on top of everything else. Glad your hubby is okay. I know how bad you feel.
I also know how helpless you felt when it happened...You say you're a 911 dispatcher and you were freaking out? Well, this morning my PALS was sitting in a chair in the bathroom and I was cleaning around his PEG tube. It was bloody and there's a little red fleshy area that sticks out on the edge of it. Anyway, all of a sudden my husband said "I feel really light-headed" and then he started to go out on me. He was deathly pale, hardly breathing, basically unresponsive, sliding out of the chair.
I was horrified and had no clue what to do. I'm a nurse...and I had no clue what to do! I ran and grabbed a quilt off the bed and was going to try and ease him down to the floor but I couldn't muster the strength. All the while I was crying and saying "I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" It was wild!
I ran and called 911 and they took him to the ER in the ambulance.
Don't feel bad about what happened with your husband. You did the best you could. We're not superhuman and we get tired and have limits.
Take care, Christy. I'll keep you both in my thoughts.
Jane

[MtPockets]

Jane I am so sorry to hear that. Boy, it seems this holiday weekend has been bad for so many of our friends here on the forum.

I hope all is well with your husband? Please let us know.

Lord, we need a break, please.

[fiddleplayer51]

Thanks Mt. He's doing fine now. Just a little sore.
Thanks also for answering his post about doing sit ups after PEG insert. I think that's it for the sit ups. :-|
While I've got you on the line, I just want to say that I've always wondered what MtPockets means...I was always reading it Mountain Pockets and I wondered what it meant. Well, my husband walked in a little while ago and said "Empty Pockets says sit ups are bad." So now after all this time I know what MtPockets means. That's cute.
I know what you mean by empty pockets! ;-)
Take care and thanks for your concern. Hope you're doing okay.
Jane

[hopingforthebest]

Dear Christy

What happened to you as you can read the posts that have responded is more common than you thought.

I can only imagine how awful you must have felt. I will say a prayer that you will and have forgiven yourself as I am sure your husband has. (I have also hurt my George when giving showers, shaves, etc. even cutting his nails!!! :oops: It makes you feel terrible!)


Please speak of your frustrations and the help you need when you go to the ALS clinic. Hopefully, they will have an agency that can help you!

Stay strong and pray!

Patty

[sharonca]

I'd like to remind everyone - including myself that we don't have to wait to go to the ALS clinic to contact the ALS Association. You can go on www.alsa.org and then clink to find your local association and find the person who is in charge of the loaner closet. I got a companion wheelchair just that way. I also found out that I was listed with the national organization but not the local one. Got that fixed so that I would have a local rep assigned to me. Then in the future when I need something I can e-mail or call her. So at my last vist to the MDA ALS clinic I got the card of the person who can find items for me in their loaner closet. I think it is so important to contact these groups before spending our own cash.

Sharonca

[MtPockets]

Jane, you would be surprised how many people do not catch the empty (MT) pockets. You are not the first to be sure.
After 4 children, and 15 grandchildren, and then ALS, they sure are M T.
LOL

[fiddleplayer51]

Your pockets may be M T but your heart is full. You're the best!
Take care,
Jane

[CindyM]

Hi Jane- Hope your hubby is feeling better today. I also did not get the MT reference. that should be my nickname, LOL! :-D

To whimsy and anyone who ever accidentally hurt their PAL. captain Al is right. It was not intentional. That's why they call it an accident, unfortunately.

[jimercat]

Christy,

Hope Dave is doing well. Hope you are feeling better.

don't be so hard on yourself! Like others have said, you are doing the best you can and I'm sure your husband appreciates you immensely.

I've read horror stories about "professional" caregivers and PALS. Believe me, your husband is lucky to have you, as you take a special interest in his well being. Your love means more than any fall/accident!

[fiddleplayer51]

Thanks, Cindy. He is better. It's hard to hurt a good man. LOL ;-)

[swi71]

Christy and Jane--
Glad to hear that all ended well with both situations. Gerald had several of those when he was still mobile. Don't be too hard on yourselves because you are both experienced with helping others. It's a lot harder to stay calm and objective when it's YOUR family member. It's also hard when it happens so quickly.
Christy--I hope you get a hoyer soon. We have had one for a while now. Just a word of advice--be sure you get good instruction on using it. We didn't find out we were using it backwards until a visit to RIC when they put him in the opposite way. Sure was easier after that. LOL.
Sharon

[fiddleplayer51]

Sharon,
Thanks for the encouragement. You've got that right, it's so different when it's your own family member! :cry:

That's hilarious about using the hoyer lift backwards! :lol: We're definitely not born knowing how to use this equipment!

Thanks for the laugh.
Jane

[kylisa]

I am also a 911 dispatcher. My mother was diagnosed in Feb 08. She just recently got her feeding tube. She was very reluctant to get the tube but she is doing really well so far. My father is in the same position that you are. It tears him up to see my mother stumble or fall. I have a young daughter that lights up my parents home when she visits. My mother has been a real trooper. Most people in her shoes would be miserable. She laughs at herself most of the time. We treat her as normal as possible. I have no idea how far this will progress. All we can do is make her remaining time as meaningful as possible.

Keep your head up and do the best you can. That is all you can do.:|






I dont even know where to begin. I feel so scared, awful, and just terrible.

Yesterday I was attempting to transfer my husband who was very week from a trip the day before. His legs were so week. I dropped him, he feel and hit his head on the floor so hard. I called for ambualnce as he was kind of out of it and moaned at first. Then he started coming around and he kept asking what happened so I knew something was wrong. (I kept thinking omg what have I done, I hurt him. What if I hurt him bad, omg what have I done)

I hurt my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at him so lifeless and helpless laying on the floor in a daze and I paniced. Im a 911 dispatcher and I freeked. I cant beleave I hurt my husband. I cried all day and night. Im so afraid of what will happend next. Why dont we get the help we need. Why do things like this have to happen. We should get more support, more help. Why does it have to be so hard. :evil:

Im so tired of not having help. I cant do this by myself anymore. I dont know what to do. :cry::confused::evil: