Memorial

[JohnB]

I've had the garden tidied up,
As she woul have me do,
This little pal who couldn't stay
To see the season through.
The flowers were her dearest friends,
The garden was her own.
I've watched her work, but never knew
The things that she had grown.
Her catalogues keep coming, and
Her garden magazine.
I run across the queerest names,
And study what they mean.
I read them all from end to end,
And when the spring is here,
I'll have a garden just like hers,
As though my wife were near

[liz]

Thank you for sharing that lovely tribute.

[CindyM]

A lovely sentiment. Very moving! Cindy

[jimercat]

Very nice j.

[JohnB]

I've had the garden tidied up,
As she would have me do,
This little pal who couldn't stay
To see the season through.
The flowers were her dearest friends,
The garden was her own.
I've watched her work, but never knew
The things that she had grown.
Her catalogues keep coming, and
Her garden magazine.
I run across the queerest names,
And study what they mean.
I read them all from end to end,
And when the spring is here,
I'll have a garden just like hers,
As though my wife were near

I hope to read this at my wife's funeral to-morrow. Pray for me.

[CindyM]

You are in our thoughts. I am sorry for your loss. Cindy

[trying to stay positive]

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are most definitely in my prayers.

[Icanmanz]

My condolences to you and your family. May your wife rest in peace.


Irma

[JohnB]

:oops:I hope to read this at my wife's funeral to-morrow. Pray for me.

I managed to read the poem at my wife's funeral, together with a tribute. It was very hard and I faltered a few times, but I am certain with all your prayers, I completed it. It was a lovely thaksgiving for my wife's life and there were over 75 of my relatives and friends present. The Minister gave a very nice address. The music was Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring, Jerusalem and God Be With You Till We Meet Again. The Wake was a joyous affair, meeting old friends and relatives I hadn't seen for ages. I treated my immediate family to a meal at a favourite restaurant. My Son & Daughter stayed overnight so I wasn'alone. They have just left so I am left with my thoughts. I have had plenty of invitations which I may take up when I'm ready. I have been counting my letters and cards-about 100, which are a great comfort, but bring a tear to my eye. I hope my wife approved of the service.
I hope to now try and pick up the reigns, but Christmas is going to be difficult. I am a Wandsman at St. Paul's Cathedral and attending the services will be comforting. The music is especially important to me as I am a church organist.
My wife had Bulbar MND which was very distressing but she bore it with fortitude and patience, often giving the thumbs up sign of approval (she couldn't eat or speak, I do miss her voice).
I must stop now before I get too emotional.
Iwould like to change my username to John as it was automatically put in by Google.

[CindyM]

Hello John- glad all went well. You all sound like a lovely family and your wife must have been special to make such an impact on so many people. She will be missed, I am sure. Take extra care of yourself over these next few weeks. thhings will get tough but then eventually they start to get better. We will be with you at every step of the way. Cordially, Cindy

[Al]

Hi John. Sorry for your loss. John is taken as a user name. Would JohnB be alright or would you prefer something else.
AL.

[oldmoor]

John -what a lucky wife you had to have such a thoughtful,dear man as a husband. Your tribute to her is beautiful,and I know it meant the world to your family. Als is so cruel . I am glad your wife had her garden ,and you will have that part of her in the future. You are in my thoughts and prayers as I see my dear sister slipping away. Mary

[JohnB]

Thankyou, John B would be fine.

[Al]

JohnB should work next time you sign in. Let me know if there are problems.
AL.

[JohnB]

I would like to share this incident with you which will remain for me forever.
A few days before my wife died, my son, daughter, daughter-in-law and myself were with her at the hospice. She was under sedation, but just before we left she woke up and started to plead with us to let her get up. She was so strong and it took all of us to prevent her. It seemed as though she could see something that we couldn't as she was pointing with her finger. This went on for 3 hours, it was so distressing, and no matter what medication they gave her she fought against it. It was only when the night staff gave her another injection that she settled.
I have often wondered what would have happened if we had let her get up.

[CindyM]

Interesting things happen just before a person passes. I had an aunt who suffered from early onset Alzheimer's and wasted away in another state half-way across the country. When my own Mom was DX'd with dementia she forgot about Auntie and never mentioned her name again until one afternoon she pointed to the ceiling and said, "Edith." The next day the family called with the news that Aunt Edith had died. Something made me ask what time and we figured it was right when Mom was calling her name.

[Steve100]

Gives me goosebumps. When my Grandmother was dying she started talking to her dead Mother, teling her she'll 'be there' soon, and when her husband died a year later, he was talking to her, telling my Father that' Your mother is calling me'. Weird huh?

[hboyajian]

Dear John, My father had a similar reaction the evening he was last consciously with us. He was in the hospital, removed from the ventilator a few hours before. He knew his options and had chosen to allow nature to take it's course, though it was certain to mean he only had a little while left until his breathing diminished to a critical point. After spending some good quality time speaking with the family, he became more tired and slept. Then he woke up and seemed to have forgotten that he was dying and that he was attached to the catheter and a few other things. He insisted vehemently that he needed his walker, and that he must keep his physical activities up or he would lose them. We were able to calm him down, but he fell back on the bed as though defeated. This happened several times. How I wished I had been able to bring the walker to him, but someone had taken it out of my car when they brought my brother from the airport. We were concerned he might get hurt if we were to try to walk him around the hospital room. The nurse really didn't want us to try it, even if we had the walker. It was one of those moments in my life that I have felt absolutely uncertain of what to do, what the right thing is. For a long time I felt terrible that I was unable to honor my father's last request, and even yet it hurts. I did talk with a counselor, who told us that he probably was not fully rational at that point as his brain was not cleared of the CO2, and it was his strong will to live and desire to be with us coming out in the only way he could express it. Holly

[midwestgirl]

I love to hear about end of life events like those mentioned above. I know we have to have to trust and have faith, but somehow these events reassure me about the afterlife. Death is the great unknown, and seems scary, but knowing that someone that my mother loves is there to help her with the transition just makes me feel happy. My mother was unable to speak, but the morning before she passed, she had her eyes wide open and was staring at the ceiling and motioning, as well as looking at each one of us. I truly hope and trust my father was there to help her cross in to heaven.

[anne]

We were at my mother's bedside as she was passing. Prior to her crossing over to heaven my mom looked very haggered and tired. Her eyes were little slits and her breathing became shallow. Suddenly her eyes started to slowly open fully and they were glowing. Her face was full like it had been prior to her getting this horrible disease. She was looking calmly straight into my brothers face. This lasted about 20 seconds and then slowly the eyes began to slowly shut and the fullness in her face left her and the lines on the moniters were flat. This was something I had never witnessed before, nor would I have believed it had someone told me this. It was absolutely amazing. I believe that my mom now in heaven looks like she did prior to getting this terrible disease. Anne

[JohnB]

I didn't realise I had so many kind and generous friends. So far nearly £1,000.00 has been raised in my wife's memory in aid of the Motor Neurone Association's research into this dreadful disease, and I believe there is more to come. I cannot begin to thank all those who donated.

[mammaberger]

Nice to hear of the generous donations in memory of your wife. In response to some of the other posts it seems at the very end there is one last fight. When my mom died from cancer she had been sedated and not coherant for three days then the day she passed she was tring to get out of bed, requesting sugar water and meal replacement drinks and was drinking them even though for the week prior she was only having sips of water the nurse in pallitive care said this often happens at the end, people try to fight it one last time.

[Icanmanz]

Hi anne, I cannot believe I missed your post, maybe I did read it then, and went on to the next one, and forgot to reply. Well, I am replying now, gosh almost a month later. Jeez, wouldn't it be something if I did reply, and forgot that I did? LOL! That happens to me a lot!

Okay, your post is super. Loved it. I'd like to share with you that like your mom, my son, he too, had a beautiful, peaceful look about him when he passed. We no longer saw pain in his face, totally different. Seeing is believing, and I believe you. God bless you!

Irma

[anne]

Irma....That peacefull look is the only thing that I can think about that makes me believe that she is free of this disease. Anne

[Icanmanz]

Anne, you are so right! Free of this disease, and forever and ever with Jesus!

Irma