News Update on Henry February 2, 2005

[Carol Deboer]

Hi everyone,

well, it Has been a long 7 days. i am at tHe Hospital for 12-13 Hours per day. However, we got a lung x-ray done yesterday and tHe report today was tHat His lungs are now clear. praise be to god! tHey are still continuing tHe antibiotics. He Had some pureed food today and tHat went well. He was so Hungry. He still is tube fed, but still needed some solid food of some sort. after a week of no food and only water, He managed some pureed cHicken and potatoes. He was not too agitated today and tHat is good. He slept last nigHt for tHe first time most of tHe nigHt. tHe nurses on palliative are angels. tHey take sucH good care of Him and He flirts witH nurses every cHance He gets. However, He is still very sick. we plan to bring Him Home sometime next week if all goes well. we Had a Hospital bed sent to sarnia today and will be delivered at Home before He comes Home. our plan was always to keep Him at Home, and god willing we will be able to do so. His spirit is still good, and our pastor Has come up to tHe Hospital and prayed witH Him as well. He is still afraid to go to sleep, but tHat is normal considering How sick He is. i am exHausted. i came Home today at 430 and went to bed witH a mirgrane HeadacHe. i tHrew up in tHe parking lot, and tHen again in our driveway wHen i got Home. i took my medication and went straigHt to bed. i just woke up and tHougHt i would cHeck tHe mail. i tHank you all as we continue to figHt tHis als tHing. it is not easy, but witH tHe support of family and friends and all of you, we are getting tHe support and love tHat we need so mucH rigHt now. i Hope tHis note finds you all well. i will continue to pray for all of you as well. i am sHaking as i type tHis note, i am so tired and weak from tHe HeadacHe so i will say good nigHt now and as always will continue to keep you all updated tHe best i can. i love you all!!!

stay strong, god bless

love, carol

[holly]

Carol

we're so happy to hear something positive! les is resting now, but i will tell him that henry is doing better. we will be thinking of you.....you rest as much as you can....continue to stay strong.

holly and les

[sisterofl]

This is good news carol...get some rest...we are Thinking of you.

take care

gisèle

[Elaine]

i 'm so glad to hear that henry is better.you must also take care of yourself carol. rest when you can and eat properly.i know what hospitals can do to you, i've spent many days and nights in hospitals when the children were small.very exhausting .
keep us posted. and may god bless you and henry .
lol elaine

[Al]

Thinking of you carol. al

[DebbieD]

Carol!! this is the first time i've been on the computer in a couple of weeks. i was so upset about you and henry!! what an awful ordeal! i'm relieved that henry's pnuemonia is cleared up and i'm glad he's coming home! that should be alot easier on you, poor dear. my thoughts and prayers will continue for you both!
love and hugs,
debbie

[Timshelper]

Hi everyone,
just got off tHe pHone witH carol and Henry is at Home today so He can watcH tHe super bowl. go eagles. it was so nice to Hear Her voice i tHougHt i was going to get tHe answering macHine but tHere sHe was. Henry goes back to tHe Hospital tomorrow for more assessment but wow wHat a guy. carol is going back to work wHicH i tHink will Help Her state of mind like sHe said sitting at tHe Hospital all day can be so exHausting but you Have to do wHat you Have to do. mel wHat a nice tHing you did too bad you missed carol in tHe process you are indeed anotHer angel on tHis forum. well tHat was my update and i feel a little better because i Heard my girl laugH wHat a couple!
kim
als about loving someone

[TBear]

Carol:
nice to hear that henry is home and, imagine, in time for the super bowl! maybe you can feed him a beer and take a break yourself... or maybe you are concocting a batch of chili for game time. mine is currently simmering in two batches... (my vegetarian daughter is home!)

al, i like the idea that us... "mature gents" can still hold up our own in the thong department. i know now that i can retire my speedo with confidence and move on to something that will distess my kids even more than before... i know... but it's something that every dad has to do for his kids!

deb... glad you've returned from your northern adventure. how was it up in god's country?

i guess the prayers must be having an effect (i missed church today though) maybe if we all say one together.......

cheers

t.

[Theresa2004]

Hi carol, as per tHe rest of tHe forum, great to Hear Henry is Home and comfortable, sipping on refresHments in front of tHe super bowl. not a big football fan, but tHe Half time sHow was great. mccartney was awesome.
but seriously, get some rest, and if tbear Has any cHili left over, maybe He can express mail it to you so you Have a meal already prepared. tHen you can sit back, relax and tHink of al and tbear in red tHongs......tbear, pray for us all............

[holly]

Hey carol

we're very happy to Hear tHe Henry got to come home. tHe two of you are in our thoughts and prayers.

holly n les

[Al]

Good to hear the Good news regarding henry. watched the superbowl in a nice bar. the blue laGoon. fantastic wings and wine. think we are off to key west tomorrow so might not be here until later in the week. hope everyone keeps well. take care. lee and al.

[Elaine]

Hi carol & Henry,

glad to Hear tHat your Home,so mucH better tHan being in tHe Hospital.
get some rest carol and give Henry a big kiss from us.
lol elaine

[me]

i hope everyone had a good weekend. carol, henry and family, how was the superbowl party?

we were busy working this weekend. we are starting off in the world of real estate investing. we have 1 rental and just bought a multi-family house. this weekend we were cleaning it up and getting it ready for renters. it's a fun project to work on together. it definitely is a good match for the two of our skills.

glad to hear most sound like they are having good times lately. the winter sure is a drag; can't wait till the spring starts coming around again.
well, that's all for now. take care everyone.
melissa

[Timshelper]

Dear melissa,
ive got a great property for you. thehouse was built in 1907 i spent most of my life growing up there. my great aunt owned and then my dad. he si now in a nursing home and i have to sell. i need to do a few renos which i hate so i guess i 'll have to hire someone. they are just cosmetic but still i hate it that kind of stuff. it has all the original wood inside and 1800 square ft. it could be used for commercial or family property. the taxes are low only 786.00 and the house should sell for 70,000 canadian. you wouldnt be interested would you. i even have my freind who is a realtor that could set it up . i'm just kidding about all this but i do have to sell this property. my dad had many bills he left me with being pa which of course i didn't now about and he is imcompetant now so i cant even find out from him where he got some of the work done on the house. did i mention it has new siding and a new roof. ha ha. i'm soing to have a small estate sale because there are a few nice antique pieces and then of course all the appliances and junk. tim juices 3 times a day and carol has a recipe if you ned it. i dont know if tim is using that one or erics i just know there are a lot of beets in it because his lips are always a nice rosy pink. home care does this for him everyday and it takes him about 1 hour to get it all down. he also drinks a lot of ensure plus and that comes form the hospital free of charge. last time i was there we were waiting fo rthe nurse to come over and he has different ones all the time. this guy walks in and he has work clothes on which i thought was a bit odd but hey maybe he ahd a second job. any way tim andnow you have to remeber he has to put a lot of thought nad energy into this. he lifts his glass which has maybe less then an inch of ensure in it the glass is plastic with to handles one fo reach side so he can grab them and have the strength to bring it up to his mouth. this quite a process anyway me and my big mouth or maybe my lack of timing jsut as he gets it to his mouth and is aobut to swallow i say to this guy who hasnt said anything "i guess your not the home care nurse oops well this guy which i later find out is tims brother just starts to roar with laughter and tim couldnt control himself either and lost control and spit all the ensure all over himself. the look on his face was priceless as i'm typing this i'm laughing someone else may not think this is funny but its happened to everybody when someone says something funny and your just about to take a drink and you usually choke or spit it up but since this is such a hard task for tim it was silenced humor i guess. i tried cleaning him up and then he was a little pissed because he said he needed a shower and i said just change your clothes but the butter pecan ensure had gone right through to his private area. he didnt want me really wiping me off there so i said fine now your ensured! its definitly going to be a journey for me and tim because we both have a sense of humor mine is very dry and i do dumb things and take things very lightly. tim is very meticulous thats why when he got all sticky he was a bit upset but he loves my humor i just have to watch my timing. i forget about his disease because hes still tim to me. i see so many other people come over and they dont know what to do or say and i think it upsets us both. they dote on him so much and i wait and see if he can do what ever he trying to achieve and then i ask him if he needs help. he wants to be independent so i let him be as self sufficient as he can be because soon he wont be able to do these simple tasks. don't i sound like the caregiver from hell! tim doesnt have a will yet anyone out there know how i can approach him on this before he totally loses his speech. its going to be hard now trying to figure out what he is saying but people are asking me and i don't know what to say. i dont care what he does with his stuff. enough said.
anyone need some ensurance?
the girl from the prairies
kim
als about loving someone
ps tim is not close to his family

[holly]

Hey kim,

les and i are just going to sit down to do our will. we always mean to but, since He's been sick i'ts more necessary to do it, but also so much more morbid - you know what i mean? at any rate, tHe respirologist didn't give us tHe best news in tHe world. les won't be working much longer, so i called a financial planner and outlined tHe situation. He said i don't need a planner, i can do most of tHe stuff i need to do just by talking to our various insurers and such....but tHe thing He was most insistent on is make a will. so we'll do it this weekend for sure.

as for how to approach tim, i always find tHe best way to approach things with les is to ask him flat out what He wants to do. He knows that He needs to do it and i'm betting tim does too. if tim knows you, He'll know that you're not asking him about it because you're ready to drive him to tHe funeral home, but that you want to Help him stay as independent as possible by taking care of all tHese little details while He can make himself clearly understood.

hope that Helps.

holly

[me]

Kim -your story about the ensure is funny. i can just picture it. anyone had their drink come out of their nose when in that situation???

yikes, approaching him about a will will be tough, i'm sure. but, everyone should have one because we are all going to die some day. maybe if you both did one together....it would make it seem less threatening. besides, you never know, you could be in a car accident before he ever gets that far! also, a living will is a good idea. that way, if you're ever unable to speak for yourself you/he can have his desires known ahead of time. i don't know if you've heard about the lady in florida whose having a battle over her by her parents and her husband as to whether or not to keep her on life support. but, that just sounds aweful.

i went out and got life insurance on both of us and disability insurance for him as soon as he mentioned something weird was going on. it really sucks to have to pay that monthly but i know we'll be thankful if and when we ever need it. so, whenever he does something scary like climb around on a roof, i say, at least you have life insurance! (that's just my coping mechanism of course, i'd rather have him than the money).

as for the house.....it sounds cool, we love old houses. the house we live in now was built in 1920. where in canada did you say this is? anywhere close to michigan? i wonder how difficult it would be to buy in canada?

okay, now i really do have to go (i said i was going a few minutes ago but then read Kim's book)! i'll read the other postings later. melissa