LOST Horizon

[BethU]

The sun first lights the highest peak in this part of the Himalayas five minutes before the lower peaks start to turn rosy with dawn and an hour before the shafts of morning light touch the shadowed valley below.

In a sacred cave in the highest peak, the Great Mystic Rhm Bo opens his crystal-green, all-seeing eyes and peers down at the sleeping valley.

It is The Day. The one day in the century when the village comes to life, and pilgrims from around the world flock to this obscure pocket of Twitchistan to beg a blessing of Rhm Bo, and learn from him the secret of immortal youth and twitch-free living. The secret lies buried in the sacred cave, guarded by Rhm Bo and his devotees.

Also, come the usual suspects to peddle some nostrums to the drooling, twitching pilgrims.

As the village stirs, a quaint little train rumbles into the station, and passengers disembark. First off, dragging a large sack of books, undulates Eric the Self-Proclaimed Winner. “What a loser,” thinks Rhm Bo, twitching a whisker. Amalgam detoxifiers follow, along with vitamin salesmen, massage therapists, colonic cleansers promoters.

As the passengers disembark, an ominous chill undulates up and down Rhm Bo’s fur: There is evil aboard the train. More than one evil-doer. Trouble lies ahead.

A trio of snake oil salesmen jump down next: Kim, PZ, and Mr. Zaphoon, followed by the Divine Rose, a noted faith healer. A pair of twins appear, one dressed in slinky black, obviously going for a Daytime Emmy, and one dressed in modest white. Doktor Professor Wright, the Italian Stallion, appears from the next car, as do Cowboy Barry G, Colleen the Coy, Peter the Aussie Rebel, the Inspirational Capt. Al., the wicked, wicked Glen B., Marjorie and Rick, All-wise Moderator Al, Hal the Marathon Man, Roadie, and a fetching Southern Belle, wearing a hoopskirt, carrying a tiny parasol and displaying plenty of attitude. The whole damn Forum has arrived! There are even two adorable, yappy pups undulating through the crowd. As the train pulls out of the station, an elderly woman falls from the caboose, amid the clatter of metal bedpans.

A tussle breaks out among the Pro-Amalgam and Anti-Amalgam forces, as Joel sets up his “Yummies for the Tummies” Vita-Mix refreshment stand, and Chef Deborah lays out a sidewalk cafe for her Peg-O-Licious Snacks.

The crowd undulates toward the mountain. Who will win the Mystic’s blessing and learn the secret of immortal life and twitch-free living? Who will pedal the most snake oil? Who will get lucky with the Evil Twin, Colleen and Rose?.

Time for meditation. Rhm Bo assumes the powerful yoga position, Cat Licking Balls With One Leg Straight Up in Air.

Suddenly, far below, a shot rings out.

[rose]

The echo of the gunshot reverberated, echoing off of the sheer walls of the mountains, bringing Rhm Bo back from his trance-like state.

Below him, a knot of twitching Forumers formed around the as yet unnamed victim. Was this random, senseless violence? Or a targeted malevolent attack?

The good twin undulated her way into the crowd, eager to do as much good as an untrained but well intentioned lay person could.

Divine Rose, falling back on her former training as a flight attendant, whipped a megaphone out of her valise, and asked if there were any doctors, or those with medical training among them. ...

[peter57]

While Rose is trying to find some medical assistance for the unknown victim, cowboy Barry G and the Aussie rebel Peter are making their way to Chef Deborah's cafe for a expresso and a healthy serve of chocolate cake, before she makes it in to a Peg treat.

Did you see who was shot asked Barry, no i didnt but lets enjoy the moment here sipping coffee as i am sure it is going to get interesting shortly.

Just then a shadow is cast over them, they look up to find someone standing over them breathing heavily.

[BarryG]

It was the elderly, bedpan festooned lady who asked "Oh please excuse me but do either of you gentlemen know where a lady can find a room? Cowboy Barry, ever the gentleman, replies "Well I don't know where a lady could find a room but I bet you would be able to find a bunk in the roadhouse that Peter and I were just talking about setting up"

The lady, looking troubled. says "But that will take a long time and I need something now because my twitching is making these bedpans rattle something fierce"

"No worries, I have a tent that I can let you have cheap" chimes in Peter. "I'm Peter, what's your name lady?"

"Miss Marple, and thank you for the offer, I really need to dump these pans somewhere so I can go get started on the case of the mysterious gunshot"

Barry and Peter exchange glances and go back to their drinks.

[Zaphoon]

At the sound of the shot ringing out, PZ ducked under the caboose for cover. Next to him, lay Pat, a person who's gender PZ was still trying to define. PZ couldn't figure if Pat was slightly less endowed for a woman or just a bit too much so for a man. His/her hair was butch-boy short and the face was youthful; no whiskers to be seen. His/her voice teatered on being just a tad high for a man and a tad low for a woman.

Pat was noticeably disturbed and was twitching to high heaven. PZ did not have to guess why his under-the-caboose buddy had made the trip. He/she was in bad need of PZ's own, new (and improved!) anti-twitch cream. He was sure to make at least one good sale this trip!

Pat calmed down just enough to tell PZ that when this scare was all over, he/she was going to find a big, chocolate cake to ingest.

[GlenBrittle]

Having left behind the remains of a career gone wrong , Glen looks at the mountains , then looks at the throng of people and animals departing from the train.

Any evil grin , the grin of practiced mischief , spreads across his face .
"Wicked" he murmurs .

Spying the twin dressed to please in the black slinky outfit , he raises an eyebrow and another "Wicked !" passes his lips.

Not knowing why , and not caring , he moves toward the crowd .

Hearing the shot ring out , he steadies himself and resolves to leave this part of his life behind. How to get into those mountains , can it be true that this legendary place exists ? He must find out.

[Zaphoon]

While PZ lay under the caboose with Pat, Kim and Zaphoon were conferring with each other regarding "the plan". It was why they had made the trip; why they had come to this God-forsaken part of the earth.

Zaphoon: "Kim, I have all that we need to accomplish our mission right in this bag."

Kim: "Zaph, so, that means you brought the XJ-004 with you?"

Zaphoon: "Huh? No! I brought the older, more reliable model with me!"

Kim: "Just testing... just testing Zaph. Don't get upset."

Their plan was simply to see that this year, no one would be successful in having their twitches forever cured. The experience of achieving the twitch-free life would go unclaimed this year. But then, there was Zaphoon's weakness that had accompanied them on the train and Kim had proven a bit unbalanced of late.

[peter57]

Meanwhile Rose has been able to summon the help of the Doktor Wright, who takes one look at the, still un nammed patient and pronounces him dead, from a bullet wound to the head made by a .45 long Colt 220 grain slug.

Rose is astounded that the doktor could be so exact. Has he xray vision, did he see the shooter, was he the shooter????
All these thoughts were going through her head as she hesantly asked him how he knew.
Elementary my dear Rose as he stood up, holding the forementioned gun and 1 empty case.


Back at the cafe, Barry and Peter had finished their drinks and had worked out the plan for the bunkhouse.
It was infact going to more like a resort, containing all of the stalls recently set up in town.

Miss Marple undulated past them, now free of the bedpans and headed back to the group around the body to solve the shooting

[GlenBrittle]

Time for meditation. Rhm Bo assumes the powerful yoga position, Cat Licking Balls With One Leg Straight Up in Air.

Suddenly, far below, a shot rings out.

Woa , Rhm Bo , realizes that a little more protein is required in his diet. That one ripped the shorts. Good thing he had one leg in the air.

Down below someone has fainted on the platform and people are scurrying for cover. Lets weed out the un-worthy with the natural power of methane. Wait , that's not a fainting , that's a murder.

Come to me my friends - leave the shysters and mockers and ones with lesser morales behind.

OK , let the lesser morales people in , someone has to get up here.

[rose]

(OMG, too many replies before I could get this posted!) I think we need to cut to commercial or something

[GlenBrittle]

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
this could be heaven or this could be hell
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the hotel california
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the captain,
please bring me my wine
He said, we havent had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin it up at the hotel california
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said we are all just prisoners here, of our own device
And in the masters chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just cant kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
relax, said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

[rose]

Glen, I love the Eagles! (was this the commercial break?)

[GlenBrittle]

Yeah , I thought the never leave part fit in with the theme.

[BarryG]

Peter turns to Barry and says "I've got a great (stolen) idea!:idea::idea::idea:

"Let's call our new bunkhouse Hotel Arizona and the Presidential Suite will be named The Beagles cause it is sure to be a dog of a place the way you build"

"Right on" says Chico, one of the undulating but not twitching pooches. "And the restaurant can be called the Schnoodle Cafe" adds Ernie, wagging his almost nonexistent tail enthusiastically.

[BethU]

Miss Marple surveys the scene, her little mauve scarves fluttering in the breeze.

"Normally, this would be a case for Scotland Yard," she murmurs, "but since we're in Twitchistan, that is out of their jurisdiction. Let me just enjoy a sip of sassparilla rum swizzle from the maestro at the VitaMix stand, and I'll see what I can do."

The crowd waits, except for wicked Glen, who has disappeared into the caboose with Colleen. He hangs out a sign: "If this train's a'rockin', don't come a'knockin'." The caboose begins to undulate to a classic Eagles beat.

Miss Marple returns, rum in hand. "The victim is someone named Pat. His/Her gender is unknown, but an autopsy may reveal clues to that. The important question is, What was he/she/it doing here, today of all days?"

Exclamations of surprise ripple through the crowd. "How did you know his/her/its name?" someone asks.

"It's clearly visible on the ID bracelet he, she or it is wearing."

"Remarkable! But who shot him, her or it?"

"Someone in, under or near the caboose!" Miss Marple cries dramatically, pointing to the caboose, which is rocking so hard it threatens to derail the train.

PZ, Kim, Zaphoon and the other Pat of indeterminate gender scramble from under the caboose and run for the trail up the mountain. A crowd of heavy-breathing village women with pitchforks undulates after them.

Barry G eyes the Divine Rose. "Looking to bunk down for the night, Miss?" the Canadian Cowboy asks. "I can help." Peter steps in front of him. "Miss, I will be glad to accommodate you, and show you what Aussie men are made of." He glares at Barry. Doktor Professor Wright steps between them, offering his arm to the lovely faith healer. "Not so fast, gents. I believe Miss Rose is waiting for me and some fine Eye-talian loving. Giddyup."

[GlenBrittle]

Glen steps out on the caboose landing , and lights up a smoke. With a practiced pufff , he blows a word in smoke "Wicked !".

He starts singing a tune, with a big grin on his face.

Raven hair and ruby lips
sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
she's a restless spirit on an endless flight
wooo hooo witchy woman, see how
high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got
the moon in her eye
She held me spellbound in the night
dancing shadows and firelight
crazy laughter in another
room and she drove herself to madness
with a silver spoon
woo hoo witchy woman see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye
Well I know you want a lover,
let me tell your brother, she's been sleeping
in the Devil's bed.
And there's some rumors going round
someone's underground
she can rock you in the nighttime
'til your skin turns red
woo hoo witchy woman
see how high she flies
woo hoo witchy woman
she got the moon in her eye

As he finishes the tune , an arm from inside the caboose reaches out and draws him in. The door to the caboose closes with the sign rocking back and forth.

PZ, Kim, Zaphoon who all seem to be running with the same stride agree with each other that if they can run faster than the other Pat of indeterminate gender , their freedom is assured.

[Zaphoon]

As they are jogging up the mountain, Pat falls behind, not being in the same, great physical shape as Kim, PZ and Zaphoon. Pat's momma put too many mashed potatoes on the plate and now it showed in Pat's waiste line (size 56).

Pat stopped to rest on a boulder and meditate. The aim was to get on the same wave length as the meditating Rhm Bo. If this could be accomplished, it might just be there was direction to be received from the mighty master himself.

Halfway up the mountain, PZ noticed that Pat was now far behind the trotting trio and mentioned so to the other two in his company.

"I knew Pat wouldn't be able to keep pace with us." stated Zaphoon.

PZ asked, "Did anyone else notice anything peculiar about Pat?"

"Yes!" replied Kim, "I sure did! Pat's deodorant wore off about 2 kilometers ago!"

Zaphoon chimed in, "I noticed that, too!"

"Aw, come on guys! You know that's not what I was referring to!" declared PZ.

Meanwhile, Pat (with body odor now in a funk) deep in meditation on the boulder was beginning to see "The Way" clearly while in the transendental trance. The only obstacle in the way was the path that must now be taken. Pat wished and longed for chocolate cake and more mashed potatoes.

Now nearing the top of the mountain, PZ, Zaphoon and Kim were just about ready to put their plan into effect.

Zaphoon felt around in his bag for the item now needed to progress with "The Plan". Suddenly, a black, dense fog started to envelop the three and a terror like none had ever known started to race through their minds, freezing them in their tracks.

Far below, Pat, on the boulder in deep meditation, started to undulate and twitch in a rhythm native to Twitchistan. These were no ordinary undulations and twitches! These were those that had been ordained by the master twitcher himself, Master Ikanfas Cicula! Pat could not stop and a nearby tooty monkey started to mimmick the undulating dance of twitches too.

Pat, in the moment, broke out in song (like the one from "Brigadoon").

What a day this has been!
What a rare mood I'm in!
Why, it's almost like being in love!

There's a smile on my face
For the whole human race
Why, it's almost like being in love!

All the music of life seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing for me!
And from the way that I feel
When that bell starts to peal
I would swear I was falling
I could swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love

The tooty monkey was stymied with it all!

Just then, far up on the mountain, a thunderous explosion boomed out!

[peter57]

Bugger me Barry G we have missed out again said Peter.
The Divine Rose has fallen for that Doktor character, just because he has some initials after his name. I wouldnt be suprised he got them from a Wheeties Packet.

Wait a minute Peter before we find a pub to drown our sorrows, who is that group of people running away from the train and up the mountain??

Why it looks like that group of snake oil salesmen PZ, Kim, Zaphoon with Pat behind them, boy do they run in unison replied Peter.

I bet they had somthing to do with the shooting, we should send Chico and Ernie off to head them off at the pass, when they turn around we will be waiting for them.

With the mention of their names Ernie stopped chewing on a roo tail Peter had brought on the trip and said you want us to do what.

Head them off at the pass replied Barry G and whats in it for us replied Chico.
Well if you do it replied Peter i will give you each a fresh pot of dinky die aussie stew i will whip up tonight. That will get you moving.

Its a deal they both replied and bounded off.

Be careful of that black fog at the top yelled Barry G to the fast departing dogs

Peter and Barry G headed off to lay in wait for their return with the 4.
When they too heard the noise

[GlenBrittle]

You see , the black fog was the protector of the valley , allowing only the people with open minds to pass.

The black fog having enveloped the trio of salesman began searching each for items not normally found in the natural environment. Collecting these items together was a mistake as they made for an explosive combination.

Zaphoon yelled at PZ - can you see anything in this mess?
PZ yelled no , Kim can you see anything ?
Kim replied no , and dug in his pockets for some matches . Let me strike a match to see what this is.

In unison Zaphoon & PZ yelled Nooooo , but it was too late.
The black fog exploded .

There lay the three , blackened by the explosion , in clothes so tattered that even Pat would not wear them, with a tremendous ringing in their ears. Sitting up , they went to smacking each other about , in a manner of the three stooges.

The black fog , dispersed by the blast slowly pulled itself together and headed back to the valley , its task completed.

[GlenBrittle]

Colleen opens the door to the caboose , feels the wind in her face. With a devilish grin , looks inside and thinks "That ... was ... Wicked".

Glen appears at the door , spies Nurse Rose with her bulging shirt and the Eye-Talian Stallion with his bulging pants coming towards them.

"We are going to start up the mountain , care to walk with us" asks Rose.
"We would be glad to" says Colleen, pulling her disheveled hair back.

"Rumor has it that the snake oil trio has gone ahead and we are wondering if they had something to do with the killing and the noise up ahead" mentions Wright.

The four begin their ascent to temple of the High Lama , Rhm Bo .

Rhm Bo feels the twitching of Pat down the mountain and expands his awareness to closer check out this person .

"Oh No , I feel that I am being tested by the gawds , surely this cant be the next in line , there must be one other on his way" Time for more meditation. Rhm Bo assumes another yoga position, Monkey Offering a Smell of Butt Scratching Fingers.

[BethU]

Up at the sacred cave, Rhm Bo heaved a great, contented sigh of relief. He had been trying to pass that black fog for a day, and now his digestion was back in tip-top shape. Whew!

Below he saw the snake oil salesmen, with the curiously symetrical strides, struggling to regain momentum. Below them, two yappy creatures were making fast progress. Rhm Bo's fur bristled. This was trouble. The snake oil salesmen could only be intent upon destroying the secret to twitch-free living, so that they could continue to rake in filthy profits from the gullible.

Time for reinforcements. He motioned to his devotees to bring up the army. This was going to be the Mother of All Cat Fights.

He assumed the yoga position: Cat Curled Up in a Sunbeam, to refresh his strength.

In his head, his favorite song lulled him into deep meditation:

He goes on the prowl each night
Like an alley cat
Looking for some new delight
Like an alley cat

She can't trust him out of sight
There's no doubt of that
He just don't know wrong from right
Like an alley cat

He meets them
And loves them
And leaves them
Like that "Catsanova" does

That's no way to treat a pal
She should tell him "Scat!"
Aren't you sorry for that gal
And her alley cat?

[rose]

Divine Rose grabbed onto the good doktor's hard as iron/steel/rock bulging bicep arm and drew him close to her. The Eye-talion Stallion smiled broadly, as he always liked having his arm warmed. Come closer, Rose insisted, I need to tell you something, and its for your ears only. Wright obligingly bent his head nearer to her, enjoying the fragrance that wafted up from her arm warmers. Whatever it is that you're wearing certainly smells much nicer than that Black Fog, he murmured into her ear.

But, Rose was not interested in making lovey-poo talk. Pay attention! she exclaimed. There is something very Wicked about Glen's aura, she said. I think he's hiding something. I sense he's running away from a life gone awry. He's not the only one either. There are some very suspicious characters among us. In fact, I'd bet that no one is who they portray themself to be. And, there are so very many of us, how will we all ever be allowed to enter into Notwitchopia?

[peter57]

On the way up the mountain Glen's group passes Barry and Peter lying in wait for the dogs to bring back the snake oil salesmen.

Rose, thinking she might need some more support if she is right about all is not as it seems with Glen calls out to them and invites them along on the trip.

Barry who is getting tired of waiting for the dogs return, jumps up and agrees, Peter however is a bit reluncant but a wink and an undulate from Rose is enough to convince him to join the group.

This will speed things up so we can catch up with PZ and co sooner, and it will also will give us 6 against the 4 of them.

So off they head, up the mountain into the unknown

Mean while Rhm Bo is looking a bit worried, what more of them he mutters to himself, this is really going to one hell of a fight

[GlenBrittle]

Glen starts to feel different the closer they get. A weight is being lifted.
It feels different to be so happy - there is something more to the chance acquaintance.

Glen starts to hum a tune and sends a wicked smile to Colleen

Every night I’m lyin’ in bed
Holdin’ you close in my dreams
Thinkin’ about all the things that we said
And comin’ apart at the seams
We try to talk it over
But the words come out too rough
I know you were tryin’
To give me the best of your love
Beautiful faces and loud, empty places
Look at the way that we live
Wastin’ our time on cheap talk and wine
Left us so little to give
That same old crowd
Was like a cold dark cloud
That we could never rise above
But here in my heart I give you the best of my love
Oh sweet darlin’ you get the best of my love
oh Sweet darlin’ you get the best of my love
I’m goin’ back in time
And it’s a sweet dream
It was a quiet night
And I would be all right
If I could go on sleepin’
But every mornin’ I wake up and worry
What’s gonna happen today
You see it your way
And I see it mine
But we both see it slippin’ away
You know we always had each other baby
I guess that wasn’t enough
Oh, but here in my heart
I give you the best of my love
Oh, sweet darlin’ You get the best of my love
Oh, sweet darlin’ You get the best of my love
Every night and day,You get the best of my love
Oh, sweet darlin’ you get the best of my love
Oh, sweet darlin’ you get the best of my love

[BethU]

On the mountain peak, Rhm Bo's army prepares for The Mother of All Cat Fights. The feline warriers pour from the sacred cave, and begin sharpening their gigantic claws on the defenseless pine trees, gnawing their fangs to lethal points on the mouse bones that litter the path. The males spray the trees with Eau de Tomcat and emit clouds of black fog to confuse the pups still clambering up the hill behind PZ, Kim, Zaphoon, Rose, Glen, Colleen, Barry and Peter ...

Rhm Bo peers at the throng headed toward the cave for the Final Showdown. "Jeeze, even that old lady with the tissue in her mouth is puffing up the mountain," he notes.

He joins the warriers, who are chanting their fight song as they prepare.

Oooooooh
Black and orange stray cat, sittin' on a fence
Ain't got enough dough to pay the rent
I'm flat broke but I don't care
I strut right by with my tail in the air.

Stray cat strut I'm a ladies cat
I'm a feline Casanova, hey man that's that.
Get a shoe thrown at me from a mean old man
Get my dinner from a garbage can.

Rhm Bo speaks the next line:
Meow. Yeah, don't cross my path !

I don't bother chasing mice around.
I slink down the alley lookin' for a fight.
Howlin' to the moonlight on a hot summer night.
Singin' the blues while the lady cats cry,
"Wild stray cat , you're a real gone guy."
I wish I could be as carefree and wild ...

Rhm Bo speaks the final line,
But I got cat class and I got cat style !!

The warrier cheers, their fur bristles, they are ready for action.

BRING IT ON !!

[Zaphoon]

There was a wind that was drifting down from the mountain and it brought with it, the aroma of freshly barbequed tooty monkey. It was coming from the area where Pat was last known to have been. What a wonderful, aromatic pleasure to the folks down below. They had never experienced anything like this sweet treat to the nostrils!

Meanwhile, at a nearby boulder, Pat had come out of the transcendental, meditative trance that had connected this person of questionable gender telepathically with Rhm Bo and was absolutely famished! With Pat's vision still a bit blurry, one gaze at the tooty monkey with his chococlate brown fluffy covering of fur (toots was still in Pat's company) brought a desire for food to the forefront of the mind. There was only thing Pat could do!
Pat had to sing this song as the barbeque went on.

When the summer sun is shining on Twitchistand's happy land -

Round countless fires, in strange attire in many solemn bands -

Of glum Twitchistanians watching as my lunch goes up in flames -

By the smoke & the smell you can plainly tell -

It's barby time again!

(Contributing writer's note: Sorry for the tooty monkey winding up as he did but the past few days have caught up with me and I had to take it out on somebody. Cheese!!)

(2nd addendum - contributing writers note: In case anyone was wondering, the tooty monkey is indiginous to Twitchistan only. For further details on this creature, don't try googling it as it probably only exists in this thread.)

[GlenBrittle]

As is the way with Murphy , any place that doesn't have a loo is a place that needs one.

Glen walked away from the group to leave his mark on the territory. While shaking the dew from the lily , he spies a plant that looks sort of familiar.

He walks over to it , and the leaves are similar , but it has a different smell. How wicked is it to find this growing wild. Glen grabs the stalk at the middle and runs his hand to the top , gathering leaves and buds in his hand. Twisting and folding it into a ball , he stuffs it into a breast pocket thinking HA! , it would not fit in Roses pockets - evil grin .

Hurrying to catch up to Colleen , Rose & Wright , he notices that Barry & Peter have almost caught up to the three snake oilers - Zaphoon, PZ and Kim.

At that moment , the landscape erupted with fur and a sound of a thousand cats being stepped on. The first focus of this tremendous hairball was Zaph, PZ and Kim. They were covered in fur , yelling and screaming which quickly died down as they were forced to the ground.

More cats approached Barry and Peter who froze in their tracks hands out in front of them, which caused a standoff for the moment.

Even more of the hairball hellions circled around and were stalking Colleen , Rose , Wright and Glen. Glen stepped up front as a cat from the pack jumped. Catching it in his hands , he held it away and said "Helllllooo Kitty - aren't you the wicked little thing" . Then a funny thing happened , the cat started purring and trying to head butt Glen,s shirt pocket.

Wright , being the intellectual Stallion he is , asked Glen what is in that pocket. Glen pulled out the herb ball he had collected.
"Wicked , these cats like pot" Glen said .
"Thats not pot , its catnip" claims Wright. "Everyone , rub some on your hands".

[peter57]

As they all scramble off the track to find some catnip, Glen is looking down hearted, seeing his chance to make a quick buck with the pot go up in smoke so to speak.

After a quick rub with the catnip all the cats calmed down and were purring around their feet.

What about Zaphoon, PZ and Kim, shouldnt we do somthing for them cried Rose, look at them all covered in cats, you can hardly see their faces.

No worries said Wright as he pulled his super soaker from his trousers, quickly fill the tank with catnip juice and i will give them a squirt, that should get the cats off them.

He fired at the riggling mass on the ground not only getting Zaphoon, PZ and Kim but also many of the cats.

As the cats started to leave the trio, a strange thing starts to happen, the cats who were squirted with catnip started to undulate and pair up and head into the surrounding trees.

What on earth is going on here said Colleen, well i guess cats are doing what cats do replied Glen. It might be somthing we can use in the future so lets fill Wrights super soaker back up and carry on.


Meanwhile Rhm Bo is livid, they have found his secret in establishing his army of feline fur balls. He knows that those that got covered in catnip will be out of action for 6 hours.
Time for plan B.

[BethU]

Ahhh ... too late. The sun is sinking behind the tallest peaks, and the village and its secrets will again disappear for a century. The anti-twitching secret has been saved from the snake oilers (and unfortunately, also from the twitchers) for another 100 years, or a scientific breakthrough, whichever comes first.

Rhm Bo brings out Plan B.

"Let's all gather round and sing a grand finale to LOST Horizons -- the Musical! What will it be? Did the Eagles cover such a situation? Kim, PZ, Zaphoon ... you're musicians, poets and a one-man band. What chorus will bring the curtain down?"

A rim-shot rings out as Rhm Bo turns, stretches deeply, tail in the air. and executes the yoga position, Cat Mooning the Crowd.

[Zaphoon]

As one possibility to the close of this episode:

Rose and Colleen decide to close it out as a duet singing,

"The Twitching Song"

got a boyfriend. he's a bad boy.
he is my favorite. he is my joy.
i got a boyfriend. "danger boy!"
he's got a girlfriend. she is my toy!

sometimes he'll twitch for no reason,
it's just a twitch, and it's part of his style.
he tells me i'm his one and only
i'm the only one making him smile.

sometimes he'll twitch for no reason,
it's just a twitch, and it's part of his style
when he's feeling sad and lonely
i'm the only one driving him wild.

he really likes me. he likes my mom.
he buys me ice cream. he likes my song.
he's got a nice car. i buy his gas.
but in the back seat, he moves too fast!

sometimes he'll twitch for no reason,
it's just a twitch, and it's part of his style.
he tells me i'm his one and only
i'm the only one making him smile.

(my boyfriend's back and you're gonna get in trouble!)

sometimes he'll twitch for no reason,
it's just a twitch, and it's part of his style
when he's feeling sad and lonely
i'm the only one driving him wild.

[GlenBrittle]

Well , of course a tune from the Stray Cats is a must (Yes, I picked up on it earlier)

Well, My baby and me went out late Saturday night
I had my hair piled high and my baby just looked so right
Well, pick you up at ten, gotta have you home at two
Mama don't know what I catched off of you
But that's all right cause we're looking as cool as can be

Well, we found a little place that really didn't lood half bad
I had a whisky on the rocks
And change of a dollar for the jukebox
Well, I put the cold rock into that can
But all they played was disco, man
Come on, baby, baby, let's get out of here right away

We're gonna rock this town
Rock it inside out
We're gonna rock this town
Make'em scream and shout
Let's rock, rock, rock, man, rock
We're gonna rock till you pop
We're gonna rock till you drop
We're gonna rock this town
Rock it inside out

Well, we're having a ball just 'a bopping on the big dance floor
Well, there's a real square cat, he looks a 1974
Well, he looked at me once, he looked at me twice
Look at me again and there's gonna be fight
We're gonna rock this town
We're gonna rip this place apart

We're gonna rock this town
Rock it inside out
We're gonna rock this town
Make'em scream and shout
Let's rock, rock, rock, man, rock
We're gonna rock till you pop
We're gonna rock till you drop
We're gonna rock this town
Rock this place apart

[Zaphoon]

Back at the boulder barbeque, Pat, having missed all of the cat calamity and now with a belly full of tooty monkey, suddenly breaks out in one final song for personal enjoyment.

Thank You Tooty Monkey:

I sat on this boulder to meditate
just after hungering for chocolate cake.

With meditation over and feeling hungry and beat
I looked to sate my hunger with something to eat
gazing down I saw a choclolate brown tooty
he was stymied and dazed and ripe for the booty.

Chorus: Monkey meat, Oh monkey meat
So terribly sweet
From its neck to its feet
Oh sweet monkey meat!

I slayed him, butchered him and filleted him for roasting
It was a culinary delight, pardon my boasting.

Chorus: Monkey meat, Oh monkey meat
So terribly sweet
From its neck to its feet
Oh sweet monkey meat!

Now after eating sweet tooty I have one thing to say
My twitches are gone and gone to stay.
I have found my cure and can depart this land
This wretched place they call, "Twitchistan"!

Chorus: Monkey meat, Oh monkey meat
So terribly sweet
From its neck to its feet
Oh sweet monkey meat!

After singing his ode to tooty, Pat leaves for home, joyfully fulfilled.

[freddiesnetty]

I love this..........I have been away for awhile, I do though like to drop by and see how everyone is doing. It has been 7 months and 13 days. I am doing well sometimes, then others hanging on by a thread. I will keep going on, Freddie would of wanted it that way. He never really got on here, but he knew you all. We would talk of yall often. He needed to know that he wasn't the only one that was afraid, Yet COURAGEOUS!!!

I wish the best to all and travel through again!!
netty

[BarryG]

Way to go everyone! I can't believe that you are all so musical. I have never been a big fan of musicals but a musical follies is an entirely different thing.

[BethU]

Nettie ... so good to hear from you and know that you are hanging on, even through the rough days.

Please take care. I think of you and Freddie often.

[peter57]

Well done to all.
I will be able to contribute the following to a musical folley.

My feet, yes when i take my socks off my feet humm
and sometimes i play the fool.:lol::lol::lol:

Thats my limit to the musical word other than listening to it

cheers:smile:
Peter

[thelma313]

Such a fun read, Everyone! I am sorry I missed out on this one... too busy running around all weekend but I loved catching up this morning with the first-ever musical follies!

Netty, you are an inspiration. Thanks for dropping by.

[KeeKer]

It's amazing what happens to me when I go away! Looks like I have to stick around to keep an eye on things.;)

[BethU]

You didn't know what a good time you had this weekend, huh! :lol:

[KeeKer]

No, what a surprise to find out all the fun I was having without even knowing it!

[GlenBrittle]

You were fantastic .... ;)

[KeeKer]

You promised you wouldn't tell!

[BethU]

Everybody knows. He can't stop talking about it. :lol:

[GlenBrittle]

I didn't tell about you doing [CENSORED]
and then when we were [CENSORED]
and then of course no one will know about that [CENSORED]

I don't write and tell ya know. !

[KeeKer]

Well either you're a gentleman or you knew I'd have to kill you for giving away my secrets.;)

[peter57]

the rate you 2 are going this might end up being the first 2 part folly

ops i have just added to it :lol:

cheers
Peter

[Zaphoon]

I was witness to the whole thing!

[GlenBrittle]

Well either you're a gentleman or you knew I'd have to kill you for giving away my secrets.;)

We both know what you are capable of .... ;)

[KeeKer]

smart man!!! I see you caught my new avatar! Just thought I'd look the part!

[peter57]

Zaphoon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was witness to the whole thing!



Yup, so were two others PZ and Kim :)

Barry your new avatar suits you too :-D

cheers
Peter

[BarryG]

Thanks Peter, you can call me Clark!

http://mrsmiller85.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/christmas_vacation_small.jpg

[KeeKer]

planning on burning down the Christmas tree?

[BarryG]

Oh you have no idea about all the plans I have. In fact, the weather is so nice I might just put up the Christmas lights! :lol::lol:

[peter57]

opps i ment to say that Glen's avatar suits him (a bit of a rabbit) :lol:

(that is what happens when the boss comes visiting my desk and whisks me away to a meeting, you hit reply by mistake before you re read it)

Thats not to say that yours doesnt suit you Barry(ops clark) as well.

And KeeKer, what can you say.;)

cheers :lol:
Peter

[GlenBrittle]

planning on burning down the christmas tree?

squirrel !!!!

[GlenBrittle]

opps i ment to say that Glen's avatar suits him (a bit of a rabbit) :lol:

cheers :lol:
Peter

Do you mean soft and cuddly and likes reproduce like a rabbit ? Ok , I can accept that !