Less and Less Freedom

[pscheffel]

My Mom has some confusion associated with the ALS, but also had a brain injury about 16 or so years ago that created a blood clot requiring surgery to remove it. I spoke with the ALS clinic last week and was told these are a factor in my Mom being confused and having FTD. She is not to the point where driving is totally unsafe, she can still go by the post office or store to get a couple of things. AND, she also can go by her bank........I was just added to her bank account last week and have started to monitor it. OMG! She is pulling out cash every day almost and goes to Kohl's (a department store similar to JCP) and buys fashion jewelry for me, her or her other family/friends. I have told her several times to stop, which I have not gotten anymore thank goodness. Yesterday alone, she took out $40, then $60 and another $60, ALL at seperate times. So, I called my Dad to alert him and he is very frustrated, because he has already told her several times not to pull money out and spend it on items they do not need, because they cannot afford it. This morning when she visits me before I leave for work, she asks me not to tell him about her taking money out. I told her NO, I must tell him because it is important for her to have enough money to cover her meds, equipment she may need or medical bills that are starting to roll in....she just gave me a blank stare...I asked her what she spends the money on everyday, things or scratch off lottery tickets or does she give it to her sister (whom is money hungry and milking the disability system). She just shakes her head no no no...Then where is it? This is difficult, she's always been so independent and in control. And, I know she is limited on the amount of time she has left to be driving. I told my Dad we should withdraw most of the money in her account and put it elsewhere. She will still have a little, but not access to her whole retirement check. He has an account at another bank we can put it in. I am afraid she's going to spend it all and not have enough for the things they need. When I told her that this morning she just smiled....This is such a dreadful disease!

 

[sadiemae]

Contact KatieC, she will have some good advice for you

 

[Katie C]

Putting most of the money into an account she doesn't have access to and leaving "just enough" in her account is perfect in my opinion. Glen would do the same...40 here, 20 there...but it was starting to exceed $1000 a month and to this day we have no idea where the money was going. Honestly it didn't stop until he could no longer drive, so limiting access and even changing passwords are your best protection.

Also...once you're restricting her cash be sure to keep an eye on any credit card she might have. Glen maxed out every card we had before I realized I had to take over the finances.

I hear ya about that blank stare...it still gives me nightmares.

 

[brooksea]

I agree. Also, if she has a good relationship with the bank, she might open up a line of credit and not tell anyone. Your dad needs to take over anything and everything, money wise. I think Texas is a community property state, meaning that your dad will be responsible for any accounts she has opened, regardless if he knew of them. If it gets worse (I know this sounds harsh), your dad may want to talk to the ALS clinic about this to see if he can get her deemed mentally incompetent so he has control over her spending.

 

[pscheffel]

Thank you all! I have taken most of her money out and put it into my Dad's bank. Felt bad doing it....We will look into the credit card and credit line issues, although I think my Dad paid them all and closed them with the fundraiser money our city raised for her.
There are a couple of things I need to speak with the ALS clinic on. So I will add this to the list. I have a feeling I will be posting here more often, it seems this disease is moving faster daily.