His boss has questioned his work

[cubcake]

I've been dreading this day for so long......Fred's work is finally not up to snuff, and someone has said something. It's time for us to pursue disability. He is heartbroken by this. I think that he still feels that he is going to get better, that his speech will return and all this will just be a very bad memory in our happily ever after.

Because of his alimony payments, I will have to continue to work full time, and he's still very much in the deep throws of his Velcro Syndrome. I'm not sure how to handle this.

To add insult to injury, I feel totally paralysed with regards to making any decisions, something that I'd never really felt before. Like I can't think straight! I just want to be able to provide the comfort that he can't provide for himself any longer.

I'm afraid I'm not handling this very well for him.

 

[Ms. Pie]

Have you contacted your local ALSA yet Dear One? They know all the problems, ins and outs, cut through red tape, know who to call for help, have a loaner closet for any of your special needs. Services In Your Community - The ALS Association

Hope this helps. I know it's a heavy burdan. Love

 

[caldona]

Maybe he can do back to count and show that he is disabled the judge might then change his alimony
.

 

[brooksea]

I'm sorry to hear of the turn of events. Does your husband work for a company that could put him in another position for a while? If he has a disability policy through the company, stay on top of getting the benefits in a timely manner.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is Velcro Syndrome?

As for alimony, I agree with caldona. Less money, less alimony. You might want to discuss this with a pro bono attorney that handles this type of thing. Call the ALS Clinc social worker, she should be able to help. If not, call the ALSA.

 

[ruthiep]

Although each state is different, I agree with Caldona and C.J. Depending on the type of alimony he was ordered to pay (property settlement vs. rehabilitative), it may be modifiable based on his disability. Definitely worth checking up on. Please follow up with a local attorney familiar with disability. Hang in there!

Ruth

 

[Katie C]

CJ... Velcro Syndrome= he doesn't want her out of his sight

I was thinking exactly the same thing about the alimony... if he's not making the same amount, he should be able to get it adjusted. It's certainly worth pursuing!

 

[EGBAR]

I agree with all, he should be able to lower his alimony based on disability and also lower income. In most states disability payments are not subject to court ordered payments, not an attorney just what I was told.

 

[ScarlettK]

My sister had sick time built up and timed it perfectly coinciding with her disability (God's plan not ours obviously because we were still in shock by the diagnosis of ALS in May). It took about 2 months working with Social Security and her disability policy to get the disability approved. Her Social Security goes into effect November 1 of this year. Her last working days were in June, but her sick leave was for about 10 weeks. So she will be without income for about 3 or 4 weeks. So the sooner the better when it comes to getting the disability. ALS patients do get a jump start of sorts. This was told to us by the ALS clinic social worker.

So... number 1: Does hubby have any sick leave built up?
number 2: Does he have a short-term or long-term disability policy from his work place?
number 3: Does he have a diagnosis yet? (That should have been no. 1)


It all gets so unnerving, but time is of the essence. I will pray for you. We are all here to help in anyway we can.

Kaye

 

[cubcake]

Hi everyone, and thank you so much for your replies! I'll first answer Kaye's questions because they are numbered and I'm an accountant and that's the only way I seem to be able to think, lately!

1. At our company, we don't 'build up' sick leave. It's more use it or lose it. And it's only 8 days a year.
2. We have both short term and long term disability, and thank goodness, he had the foresight to carry the extended long term coverage that allows for up to 60% of his pay. Does anyone know if disablity is taxable?
3 (should be 1.). We have a diagnosis of PsuedoBulbar Palsy, however, the last time we went to the clinic (we've only been twice), the doctor told us that he's got all the signs of upper neuron degeneration (he can no longer speak and has trouble eating and drinking without choking) and we are just waiting for the lower to show, but he felt it was only a matter of time. He does have a diagnosis of FTD from UCSF.

We are scheduled for a meeting with the doctor at FNC on October 14th, and I think that I'll see if the Social Worker can meet with us at that time to help me sort out what we have and what we should do.

Ms. Pie, thank you so much for including the link for the ALSA because I had no idea that it is synonomous with the Forbes Norris ALS Center, which is where we've been going. They have been so kind, helpful and understanding!

I have an email out to his former attorney, but I'm afraid that I'll have to seek help elsewhere. We've had very bad luck with Family Law attorneys in our area (SF bay area) and I don't think this one is going to come through for us. I'll check with the Center on that, too. They may have ideas.

Most of all....thank you so much for taking time away from your own troubles to help me with mine. It's so interesting to me that I have a few family and friends who really want to be of help and comfort, and really, they are in a way just by being there, but my real help and comfort is coming from this family of virtual strangers from all over the world. Amazing.

Peace be with us all.

 

[HelenL]

I don't believe disability payments are taxable, but it may be different state to state. Good luck cubcake, sounds like you have some great advice.

 

[brooksea]

Disability income is taxable, but there are stipulations. This will give you a start in researching the answer to that question:

http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=179091,00.html

 

[joni51]

Cubcake I can't add anymore than what has been posted, but just wanted to say how sorry I was about what all you are going through..

 

[notgivnup]

Hi Cupcake, So sorry for all you are faced with, I hope and pray you can get all the info you need. Don't worry, you will do fine, I bet you are stronger than you think, Love truely helps strenghten us all. Sending love your way. Hang in there. And this forum can help get through the tuff times, they are all wonderful caring and helpful people. (Hug)

 

[cubcake]

It appears that if you pay for your own coverage, it's not taxable, but if your employer pays for it, then it is. Now to figure out how this applies to us!

Life Insurance & Disability Insurance Proceeds

Question: I am receiving long-term disability. Is it considered taxable?



Answer: You must report as income any amount you receive for your disability through an accident or health insurance plan paid for by your employer:

If both you and your employer have paid the premiums for the plan, only the amount you receive for your disability that is due to your employer’s payments is reported as income.
If you pay the entire cost of a health or accident insurance plan, do not include any amounts you receive for your disability as income on your tax return.
If you pay the premiums of a health or accident insurance plan through a cafeteria plan, and the amount of the premium was not included as taxable income to you, the premiums are considered paid by your employer, and the disability benefits are fully taxable.
If the amounts are taxable, you can submit a Form W-4S (PDF), Request for Federal Income Tax Withholding, to the insurance company, or
Make estimated tax payments by filing Form 1040-ES (PDF), Estimated Tax for Individuals.

 

[Okie2]

It is amazing the answers one can get on this forum in a short amount of time. The folks on here are very giving and thoughtful. It is truly a blessing for anyone looking for answers or support.