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Old 01-10-2005, 09:55 AM #12 (permalink)
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Theresa2004 Theresa2004 is offline
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Theresa2004 Theresa2004 is offline
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Join Date: 2004
Posts: 310
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Thanks al, you trying to set me up i see...sorry tbear, that was his idea...and i am only kinda cute? come on..."kinda". dynamite in a short skirt too....however i am open to blind dates, anyone have any available "unmarried cute" friends please..let me know. my new years present from the bastard was conclusive....there simply is not enough time for us, in year terms. i can't leave yet for at least two years, even if we take two of my younger ones with us, staying in this city is not an option for us. of couse it would have been nice if he had the guts to talk to me to my face instead of emailing me. i don't know how his health is but i gave him a piece of my mind regarding moving his ass to try anything that may be available to him. i assumed he read it but did't reply..naturally..all i ever seem to hear from him is a discussion about the weather or snow storms...answers those messages. not sure why he bothers...i know deep down he is struggling as i am, so i am trying to back away, lick my wounds and move on. but it is hard, i know he loves me, and i love him, living so close doesn't help either, passing cars in parking lots or on the roads. he will do what he always does in periods of high stress, he shuts down and lets no one in. i doubt there is much support at home if they even know, i can say that from seeing the household in action and from previous situtations. he likes to play superman and shoulder the burdens himself, not admitting very often he needs some help. i have said i will do everything i can to be there, and since he hasn't completely blocked the email and responds on occasion, i think he still needs me but won't admit it. even if the future does not hold what we were striving for, it is difficult for me not to kick him in the ass on a daily basis and get him to at least talk. in our case, the disease infected him and destroyed us, there simply isn't enough time to make it.

so to the gang, even if it looks bleak, which it does, a part of me is not ready to give up completely, so do i return on my daily ass kicking showing him i am still there for him, or do i sit back and wait to see if he caves in when he opens up his email and finds i am not there?
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