Sandra,
Your urinary incontinence problem is something specific, and that is a good thing as far as reaching a diagnosis. What I mean, is many of your other problems are vaguer in nature, and thus could be harder for your doctor to get a handle on.
The bladder is a different type of muscle than is typically affected by
ALS. Even though
ALS is a systemic disease, and can affect other functions than just motor, incontinence is not something PALS report happening early on, usually never.
I believe that with PLS it can be a feature as there is progression over many years.
It is something you should talk to your doctor about, and not try to tie into your other problems, it could be totally unrelated, but even if its not, let the doctors make the connection.
I have no experience with Depends or Poise, but from what I understand they are very advanced in controlling what could be embarrassing situations, and it certainly would be reasonable to give them a test drive
Remember when you're in the store, that people don't know
who you're purchasing them for, and they probably really don't care anyway.
As to the bras, yes I understand what you're describing. For proper fit most of the support
should come from the band, rather than straps, so if you try larger band size, what will happen next is your shoulders will start bothering you, and you won't look as nice in clothes, so, that's not really a solution.
How about just wearing a form fitting cami (or two) under your clothes? The ones with a little lycra can help keep down the jiggle factor, without being as tight as a sports/yoga one... I have an extensive collection of matching sets of bras and panties, brands including the (now no longer in business) Rigby & Peller , Fantasie, etc, and it makes me sad to see them in my drawer, for the most part unworn now, but comfort is a heck of a lot more important! The reason I've mostly given them up is not because of the breathing, although I can breathe easier without one on, but rather I have difficulty reaching behind, and with the hooks, and also the strap cuts into my right shoulder to where it always feels like its twisted, drives me nuts!
There is an alternate school of thinking by some that bras don't prevent sag, that its just a myth propagated by the lingerie industry. But regardless of if they help or not, one less thing that makes your days better has got to be more important right now.
The Dansko clogs are a favorite of flight attendants to wear during flight, but I never went that route because they weigh so much! I didn't want to be hauling them around in my bag. Wearing them could be giving you more of a workout than you need right now. There is a brand, Aetrex, that makes some lightweight shoes, I buy that brand because they have the removable insole for orthotic use, but, the entire line offered by the company centers on foot/leg/back health. Also Crocks (or is it Crox?) are lightweight. There is a website "FootSmart" which has a huge inventory of shoes that are low stress on the body. The draw back is they have pretty steep shipping charges, however, they also discount the shoes, so its sort of a wash. You could always search there, and then try on locally.
Good luck with your upcoming appointment