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Old 12-08-2004, 12:04 PM #8 (permalink)
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Hi to all.
Yes he did write although his message had some cryptic words about short and long term comittments, etc etc. Over the last week I have said everything I can possibly say to him. So if he needs some time and space to deal with what ever else is going on, for now I am going to give it to him. Usually during any problems where he plays this shut down game, I write and write and he doesn't respond. He reads them, or some of them, I think, and since he did reply to me, he must have seen a weeks full of messages. I don't like to do this, but since I have made my view point loud and clear, perhaps if he goes into his 'inbox' and finds it empty from me, it may give him a shake. It has been a year since diagnosis, or close to it. If I sit back, hopefully he will know I am coming to the end of my rope, I was serious about what I have said, including this block out is unacceptable to me any longer.. I will leave it up to him to come to me. Gotta admit the timing really sucks, Christmas. He was either diagnosed in December last year, or they suspected it. He was miserable that entire month, pushing me away, picking absolutely stupid fights, did every thing he could think of to get me angry, went way outside the box and it worked. We spent the entire month in arguements, it drained me and was upsetting. He came around in January, called me and said he was sorry. I think at this point he has to admit to me he misses me as much as I miss him, I know he does, but I need to hear it and he has to see it smack him between the eyes. It could backfire, but I have tried everything else.
Carol you and Henry have been robbed of growing old together. I can understand the fear, anger and all the emotion which goes with it, the strenghth you show is amazing. You have every right to have meltdown days. I try to vision what it is like to watch him, I admit it scares the crap out of me. When you received the news, the world kinda explodes, all the plans together are at risk. That was how I felt, planning a future and building towards for a few years, with the possibility now in front, it may never happen, time will run out.

Melissa, does he not want to feel better? Or is he plain scared.

Well, I am at work also, better do some.

Talk soon....
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