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Old 12-06-2004, 11:44 PM #6 (permalink)
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Join Date: 2003
Posts: 345
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Hi Theresa and Melissa,

Good to hear from you both! Being shut out from the one you love is heartbreaking. As women, we nuture. We need to fix what is broke. We need to be the ones to say that everything will be alright. It is difficult. Not being able to make things better is devastating for us. I feel that way alot. We of course, are way past the critical first stages of this als thing and entering a whole new phase of living. It is hard to watch the one you love suffer so much. There are days that stress gets the best of me, and, I have a major meltdown once in a while. You are allowed. When the beast of als hits, the whole family becomes engulfed in it. You enter a new way of living, and coping. Everyone has different methods. I take each minute as it comes. You can do no more better than that. I used to think and plan in months, weeks, days, now it is just each and every passing second. That is okay too. Overload is always a heartbeat away. As far as Nathans symptoms being stress related, I do not know. However, if you take all the symptoms that you have related to us, I find it very hard to believe that it is just stress. Man, I would have all those symptoms too, plus more ! I really think that there is more going on there. Not to downplay the doctors that you are seeing, but, could they be missing something? Or are they simply not thinking about als at all? Has this been brought us in conversation when you have gone for you appointments Melissa? You are a smart woman, and you will find a way to get to the bottom of this, even if Nathan does not want to. I told you before, I will help you. I will go with you both to London, to see Dr. Strong, or at least help you with getting an appointment or what ever else you need to do. You both need peace of mind. I think, not knowing what the problem is can cause more stress and agony that not knowing. I know that the unkown is scary, but, at least you will have a concrete diagnosis, then get on with it. Henry was very quiet about his illness for a long time at first. We both were. We had to ingest what was happening to us and why. When we both realized that we were dwelling too much on the als and not on us, we changed our thinking. It was not easy. We have both been robbed of growing old together, watching our children get married, seeing our first grandchild being born, and the list goes on. Sooo, we live in the now. We rejoice in the little things. We miss the big things like travelling, dancing, hugging etc. I think that if you love this man enough Theresa, you will have the patience and steadfast love that you will never think was possible for you to ever have. You will be testing yourself over and over. You have not walked away from this man, does he know that? He is maybe not wanting to burden you with his illness, and that is a very macho and manly thing to do, but, he should realize that you are willing to stand by him, and face this als thing together. Your support will be important, whether he wants to continue a relationship with you or not. Do not give up. He will come around. He needs to get his shit together, and that may take a long time. Be waiting for him. Anger is a emotion that is common with als, but that to will disperse with time. Acceptance of anyone we love with an illness is just what we do when we love unconditional. I hope things will work out for you. I know it is not easy when you do not live together, but, keep the faith. At least you heard from him! That is a plus.. Anyway, TBear, I looooove La Senza. I love red. (as you know ha..) And no one here is 50, we are all just big kids. I will not give in to age. It is just a number. Al, have a great time on your trip. You sent me your skydiving pic. Good shot. And yes, you are still sexy .....ha.... Hope this finds you all well, I have to go wrap some presents now or they will never get wrapped. And Al, a trip AND money will be just fine for my Christmas present. Thanks!

Have a good night all. love to the gang...

Stay Strong, Carol xoxo


Les, you have your work cut out for you joining our group, the big boys will try to corupt you, but remember us girls have all the answers !
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