My Idea For Anti-Twitch Cream

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Dude , {{sniffff}}

I'm ready. I have snorted so much I don't know the good shit from the comet cleanser.
My nose runs constantly. {sniffle}

My eyes are so dried out, when I blink its sounds like someone sanding wood.

Do you take trade ? My mastercard scraped so much powder , it melted. They cut up my visa. {sniffle}

I neeeeed your stuff PZ , ya gotta help me , pleeeze.

I will trade with you, will you take, yah here .... A christmas cake aged since 1978 , a blowup doll (she is missing her teeth and an eyeball) , and three of the neighbors sheep as trade ?
 
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Glen,

I'd be happy to trade but I've had a temporary set-back with side-effects from experimenting with too much product.

As soon as my limbs unfreeze (too much anti-twitch cream applied) and my body rehydreates (too much "Drool Be Gone") oh, and I sober up (too much "Anti-Snort/Choke Elixor), I'll be getting right back with you.

Zaphoon
(I'm a real PLSer!)
 
Introducing Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer

We've found a remedy for twitches!
We've found a remedy for uncontroled drooling!
We've even found a remedy for snorting and choking!

Now we're on to a remedy for your sniffles! That's right! Sniffles!

Do you find yourself with those annoying daytime, noontime, eveningtime sniffles? Has your sense of smell been hampered by annoying nose dribbles?

Has your marriage proposal to that sweetheart of yours been laughed at as that unsightly substance leaked from both barrels (nostrils) while on your knees?

We can cure your sniffles due to snorts; sniffles due to weeping episodes and even sniffles due to the common (or uncommon) cold!

Announcing Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer imported from the "Land Downunder"! We searched the world over (and under) for this unique sniffle inhibitor and found its natural ingrediants to be the key in ridding anybody of any post nasal drip!

The key element in this unique blend is its rare, thick yeast that can be seen at the bottome of each bottle of Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer! Each batch is brewed in the bottle, not some hickory barrel.

(this product may bare an uncanny likeness to Australia's "Cooper's Pale Ale" but we promise the labels are different!)

Order a case of Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer today. Why not order 2 or 3!

If this stuff doens't work, write to us and we'll read your letter. We promise!

Send your money to:

Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer
C/O Forum Follies
Canada/U.S/Australia

(cautionary note: overdosing of Zaphoon's Sniffle Snuffer has resulted in:
1. temporary blindess
2. staggering gait
3. other symptoms resembling drunken stooper)

((Thanks to Peter from downunder for his contributions on detail as technical advisor!))
 
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Zaphoon,
you are a champ of the written word.
 
you guys are really so much fun cant even think of words to describe you lol
 
What no
"shipping and fondling included"...?! I am so greedy that I want the WHOLE SHEBANG!
 
In honor of Joelc, Glen and Beth, I've re-opened this thread and am bumping it up for a quick snort, chuckle, gufaw or what have you!

For you Glen! Enjoy some levity!

Don't forget to order some of the fine products from PZ Laboratories, Inc! Have your credit card ready! Remember our famous "almost" guarantee!
 
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this is what is missing for me here glad you bumped it up now all i need is missing you magic
 
Wait 'til he shows you the new PZ Laboratories truck, tdamess. :lol:
 
I love it. Laughed so much my tea is all over the floor. Did me the power of good!

Having cornered the market on drool & twitching, I trust the PZ laboratories are working hard on their new product for raspy respiration and dodgy diaphrams. This combined with door to door delivery in the new van will guarantee $$
 
jellycat you should see the one about the lawnmower think it was grandpal i laughted for days as i could see my son doing them trying to mow the lawn
 
Coming to a neighborhood near you!
 

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lol i will be looking for this truck
 
Al's tips for full contact mowing was the name of the thread. If you use search above and put in mowing tips you'll find it.

AL.
 
Yay for some levity! (I was just thinking about the Full Contact Lawn Mowing the other day) Thanks for bumping this up Kim.
 
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