View Single Post
Old 11-15-2004, 09:40 AM #12 (permalink)
saddaughter's Avatar
saddaughter saddaughter is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
 
Join Date: 2004
Posts: 4
saddaughter is an unknown quantity at this point
saddaughter saddaughter is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
saddaughter's Avatar
Join Date: 2004
Posts: 4
saddaughter is an unknown quantity at this point
Default I'm so sorry to hear about the diagnosis

You posed a question saying "how do you deal with this?" This is really difficult to answer. My dad was diagnosed just over a year ago. I don't think there is a way to deal with this. My heart bleeds for everyone who has been touched by this disease. My father is 56 years old, and was a very strong and confident man. He prided himself on always being a kind and loving man. So I think the first stage I went through was anger. Actually this stage fades but never completely goes away. I've come to realize that there is no point in being angry but sometimes you can't help it. The world is not fair. I've spent a lot of time watching programs on sick children and somehow, this has alleviated some of my anger. My father has lived a good life and at 56 he has done many, many things. Having worked through that stage, I went through the pleading with God. I think I prayed 20 times a day for a six month period. It really consumed me. For six months I was mentally drained. I don't think that there is any benefit in pleading with God. God cannot control this and to feel that you can somehow change this diagnosis is exhausting. Now I'm at the stage of utter sadness. I look at my dad and the state he's in and I accept what's going on. It rips apart my entire being but now I find myself thinking of all of the good things. I actually had a memory of him rocking and singing me to sleep when I was five. I'm finding comfort in remembering things that I might have otherwise never remembered. He's been sharing a lot of his childhood memories with the rest of the family and I feel that we are now starting to know him better than we ever have. This horrible disease is a tragedy at a level that only other survivors can understand. My advice is to not look for a solution for dealing with this - because there really isn't one. My advice is to try your best not to waste too much time on the denial, anger and pleading. Spend as much quality time with your father as you can and never forget that as devastating as this is for you, you can't even begin to imagine how this feels to him. Don't look at everything that he is no longer able to do and feel hurt, look at everyday that he is still with you and be happy. Love with every ounce of love that you have in you and relive all of the good memories together. Grieve afterwards and live today. Be strong.....My heart goes out to you.
saddaughter is offline