Wendy,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and glad for your Dad that he is free. I know how you feel, I just went through this with my Dad and the emptiness is huge, especially after wrapping your life around him and his care for so long. There is a void and it is okay to climb in bed if that is what you want. People will tell you what to do or how you should feel but there are no right or wrong answers, only what brings you comfort as long as you are not hurting yourself in the process. The first several weeks will be hard (its just over 6 weeks now since my Dad passed) and you may go through several phases of emotions (grief, anger, abandonment, etc.) before you start to feel a little bit better. It only helps to an extent knowing his suffering is over... I think that caregivers don't have a lot of time to think about the struggle of their PALS in the moment, it comes later, when you have the luxury to think about all he went through, and that you went through with him, and the absolute horror of watching what
ALS does to someone you love. The horror will pass also... thank goodness! I know that I have some post traumatic stress and delayed anxiety from pushing those feelings away while Dad was still here and doing what I could to be there for him no matter how scary things got. That's normal too! I'm starting to feel better in many ways and you will also, but first you need to let yourself grieve and go through the emotional journey so that you CAN move forward. We all do it differently but I think it is really important, especially for those of us who were really close to those we lost. The full impact of losing my Dad didn't even hit me until 2 weeks after he was gone when the rest of my life had returned to its normal routine (family had gone back home and I returned to work) and he wasn't part of the routine anymore. I wasn't prepared for it but now I am emerging on the other side of that madness and see that if I take baby steps towards recreating my life that I'll be okay. You'll be okay too, when you're ready.
My thoughts are with you and I'm sending you some strength too to help you get through this.
Sandy