WhyMyDad
New member
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2018
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- US
- State
- Ca
- City
- Manteca
Hello all,
I’m new at this, hopefully I’m getting it right lol. June of this year my father was diagnosed with ALS. I was in the room with him when he received the news. Those words haunt me “1-3years, I recommend you go home and get your affairs in order”.
It started with a heavy feeling in his left arm and six months later..... no control of left arm, left leg barely hanging in there, right arm is starting to go, can’t speak, drooling, choking, constipated........
I am soo soo afraid. I’m not ready to lose my dad and not to the f*cked up disease. I’m angry! I’m scared. I’m worried. I’m drained. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I have never felt more alone in all my life and the worst part is I feel so bad for complianing about how I feel. I look at him and see how badly he is struggling and I want to cry and scream and I can’t. I Feel like anyone I try to talk to about this just doesn’t get it.
I started seeing. Therapist, ironically she has a family member also with ALS. She basically told me to stay off the internet, stop looking for help, it’s a terminal illness and I have to accept that. F*ck her! I want my dad comfortable.
I’m super emotional right now and starting to ramble. I am just so empty.......so lost.
I’m new at this, hopefully I’m getting it right lol. June of this year my father was diagnosed with ALS. I was in the room with him when he received the news. Those words haunt me “1-3years, I recommend you go home and get your affairs in order”.
It started with a heavy feeling in his left arm and six months later..... no control of left arm, left leg barely hanging in there, right arm is starting to go, can’t speak, drooling, choking, constipated........
I am soo soo afraid. I’m not ready to lose my dad and not to the f*cked up disease. I’m angry! I’m scared. I’m worried. I’m drained. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I have never felt more alone in all my life and the worst part is I feel so bad for complianing about how I feel. I look at him and see how badly he is struggling and I want to cry and scream and I can’t. I Feel like anyone I try to talk to about this just doesn’t get it.
I started seeing. Therapist, ironically she has a family member also with ALS. She basically told me to stay off the internet, stop looking for help, it’s a terminal illness and I have to accept that. F*ck her! I want my dad comfortable.
I’m super emotional right now and starting to ramble. I am just so empty.......so lost.