I am heartbroken even though I KNOW that this is FTD an not him... When you have been with someone for 22 years, you know them... He has always been incredibly strong, moral, trustworthy, kind, sensitive, and caring. At the beginning of ALS, I started writing down all the wonderful things about him.I have NEVER met anyone like him before in my life. He is so loved and respected by everyone.
This morning, I was thinking that I feel like I am raising a teenage boy again. Ugh! He can't explain anything about what is going on. That's why I have so little hope that it will stop. He keeps telling people he is confused when they question the messages they are receiving from him.
The majority of the messages that are going out are fb messenger. He is using an ipad that can only work on wifi so there is no way to not have the wifi turned on. If I remove the wifi from it, it won't work at all.
I haven't spoken with his female friend yet. I started to send her a message last night but it wasn't going to be pretty so I refrained. I sent her a link so she would know about the FTD because I know they talk everyday and wanted her to know what was going on. It is like she is encouraging the behavior. She told him to ask someone for pics. She said she is no better than all the others you have asked... why don't you? He responded that he was scared. I asked him who he was talking about and it was a trusted friend. The writer friend that is writing his eulogy and obituary!!! Why would she encourage this? I don't understand???
Almost every time I walk into where he is, he closes what he was looking at. Ugh, I hate this damn disease. He would have never HIDDEN things from me before. This is the man that I ALWAYS knew when he would walk through the door after work...
I told him I was going to be monitoring his ipad and if there was anymore inappropriate messages, he wouldn't be able to use it anymore. Can he even comprehend that? I honestly don't know how to handle any of this. To be honest, I don't even want to... ALS is BAD enough.
I feel a DEEP HATE for FTD and ALS. I am quickly learning why CALS have PTSD.