more puns if you cn stand them

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frankb

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what's the definition of a will? (it' a dead give-away)

in democracy your vote counts. in feudalism your count votes.

a midget fortune teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

he had a photographic memory that was never developed.

every calendar's days are numbered.

that's all, folks ! !
 
brilliant, these are great :lol:
 
'Laugh out loud!!':D
 
I'll throw a couple back:

I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.
 
Tillie! That's awful...grooooan. (hurries off to use it immediately)
 
I love the hokie-pokie one! And the will was cute too!

Angie
 
On July 2nd this year 182 days will have passed. On July 3rd there will be 182 days left in this year. 182 and 182 equals 364. There are 365 days in a year... ? :) ?

PS. "Here today... gone tomorrow." Maybe not... tomorrow never comes.

As we say the words "purchase and probably" shouldn't they really be pronounced...

"Purr - chase... and Pro - bab - lee." :)
 
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic :lol:
 
love the Captain Kirk one!

OK to try and keep it bouncing around:

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
 
Do you know why I make puns? Because it's my respunsibility.


therefore I will also add:


If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?

A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.
 
good one, Tillie.
 
So, it seems that puns will never die:

with her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

if you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
 
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