He died & it was horrible.

[starente15]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad passed a year ago yesterday from ALS and our experience was similar.

If it's any comfort, I too had flashbacks, nightmares and couldn't sleep for weeks. I had terrible anxiety over thinking about what he must have felt and been thinking as things transpired. After some time had passed, the horrible images started to come up less frequently. I started sleeping again and the nightmares subsided.

Time will make it easier but you will never forget. As we approached one year, things started coming up again. I've learned how to cope by recognizing that it's just a thought and I can choose to think of something else at that moment to give it less power. It's a long road back to "normal", whatever that may be, but life goes on for those of us left behind and we slowly find our way.

 

[frankb]

So sorry for you and for such a difficult passing. I wish you peace.

 

[Duker52]

I am sorry for your loss. Take comfort in knowing that he is now at peace. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Bill

 

[vltsra]

CS, sorry for your loss and the hardship you are going through. I hope you can take comfort that you were by his side, and that he was able to hear beautiful music at the end.

V

 

[bear1973]

It's just not fair. Heartfelt condolences to you

 

[Raymiss]

What an amazing love you had for him and expressed so clearly in your writing. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Through your expression I am able to prepare myself for my Father's departure, so thank you for your contribution in that respect. I am sending you a cyber hug and praying you find peace and rest. There are no other words.

 

[scaredwifetx]

CS, I read through your post...again tonight. I am thinking of you and hope you are ok. Holidays are tough. I hope you are finding some peace. Hugs, hugs, hugs!

 

[sweetmozart]

Dear CS,

Thank you for writing. I'm sure it was hard. My heart goes out to you. I'm now in tears because what you wrote is what I feared all along.

I dread even thinking about the end, but when I do, I can see it unfold. He will probably be starving for oxygen and be put on morphine (or whatever meds hospice uses). I'm sure it will be awful no matter what we try to do to ease it.

I understand your pain and pray that it will lessen in time. Bless you.