Tracy I too second counselling, so that you may get more sound advice than what we can do from a distance. Until that happens, I again suggest you leave the room close the door and let him scream away. When he finally realizes you will not answer to the yelling, he will quit. Once he quiets, then go back into the room. If he starts up again when you open the door, reclose it and walk away. No it's not easy, but your health and well being require it.
At first my DH didn't want to go all tube feeding either, but I reminded him that he barely made it out of the hospital after he aspirated scrambled eggs. I made sure he understood very clearly that taking food by mouth would bring about his death sooner, rather than later. If he can't make it to the kitchen to get it, do not bring it to him. Let him yell and stomp his proverbial feet. 24 hours w/o food won't kill him. By then he should be hungry and accept the tube feeding. If he doesn't have use of his arms, he can't really stop you. He can yell and you can feel like you are not following his wishes, but it's for his own good.
My DH doesn't like his cough assist and will tell the nurses no, but when I'm home I tell him well we can do this or you can get pneumonia again and I just do it. My DH has no movement left so he can't stop me. I know he doesn't want pneumonia and he will tell me that, so onward I press.
All this may sound harsh, but this is my opinion, you can take it or leave it - I won't be offended and I don't mean to offend you either.
In the mean time I will be praying for you.
Hugs,
sue