Good days, bad days

[ccraig1771]

I am still very new to this forum, my mother was only diagnosed three weeks ago and given less than 6 months to live, but in this time I will like we have been dealing with this forever. Watching the strong woman that I know struggle to swallow and breath. But we do have good days. We actually got the brand new wheelchair out and went to the mall. We had a good time. It's these moments that I will hold onto. The bad days are really bad, but we are with her. She keeps saying "I'm still here." I know that this is still denial for her, but I don't want her to be afraid. So I will let her hold onto that denial until she doesn't need it anymore. On a different note, does anyone have any suggestions on the saliva and swallowing issue. That is one of her biggest complaints that she is choking. She won't use her suction machine because she says that the problem is further down in her throat. Any help is very appreciated.

 

[GregK]

Do a Search. Start with "titles only". Quite a few hits.

 

[starente15]

Hi ccraig,
I'm glad she is able to enjoy the good days when they come. My dad was prescribe atropine to dry up his mouth and amitryptiline to decrease secretions. I believe there is another as well but someone else will have to provide the name of it as it wasn't a huge issue for us. Welcome to our little group!

 

[cheerleader]

Craig, in my mother's heart, wondering if her denial is really an effort to protect you, her child? If she is in denial, maybe you won't worry so much? Don't expect logical- think love! You are in my thoughts. Thanks for being there for her- the greatest gift you can give her. Donna

 

[Atsugi]

Don't expect logical- think love! --Donna

Outstanding perspective. That's absolutely right.

I have only one thing to add for Star: Don't forget the survivors. You and your mother will have a future even after your father passes.

 

[starente15]

Thank u Atsugi

 

[ccraig1771]

Thanks everyone! Thanks Star for the info. I will ask her nurse about that. Also @ cheerleader, I think that you are right. She began crying this morning, and when she saw the concern on my face she immediately composed herself. I think she is being strong for me. I told her that as her daughter that I want her to cry if she needs to because I cry over this, it helps as a release. On another note, she had a wonderful dinner with us last night. I made homemade soup and pureed and strained it for her. She actually had seconds. It was a good night.

 

[ccraig1771]

Don't expect logical- think love! --Donna

Outstanding perspective. That's absolutely right.

I have only one thing to add for Star: Don't forget the survivors. You and your mother will have a future even after your father passes.

By the way I love this. "Don't expect logical-think love!"

 

[gooseberry]

People are going to tell you to "stay strong". I hate that phrase. I try to control my emotions around my family so our times together can be as happy as possible. But when I can , I have a good cry. It does release all the tension and emotion and I think since that is gone I am a better cals for many days. Talk with your mom, let her express her concerns and if she has none, a few of your own for her will start the conversation. I have found many times that the not talking about what was happening with this disease just made it a lot worse.