starente15
Senior member
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2014
- Messages
- 809
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 10/2017
- Country
- US
- State
- NJ
- City
- Northern
Hi everyone. We continue to ride the roller coaster that this monster keeps us on. Yesterday I thought it might have been my dads last day as he slept through most of it and wasn't eating. Today he was alert, eating well and spent several hours off the trilogy. Only around 8pm did he start getting agitated and distressed.
As I sat with him waiting for my mother to come back with morphine, he said, "it's hard" which just broke my heart. I tried to encourage him to take more medication if he needs it just so he can enjoy watching tv and eating more comfortably. He's fighting it but today he did start asking for more.
There's been stress in the house with both me and my aunt here. I knew it would happen because we're all tired, stressed and afraid. Everyone wants to do something to fix things but it's not possible. I've wanted to leave several times but I know it's because it's just too hard for me to be here and watch this unfold. I stay because I want to be here to help him and spend time especially while he knows I'm here.
On a lighter note, I've mastered the power chair, zip around and help him drive it which is funny because he hates how I drive a car.
As I sat with him waiting for my mother to come back with morphine, he said, "it's hard" which just broke my heart. I tried to encourage him to take more medication if he needs it just so he can enjoy watching tv and eating more comfortably. He's fighting it but today he did start asking for more.
There's been stress in the house with both me and my aunt here. I knew it would happen because we're all tired, stressed and afraid. Everyone wants to do something to fix things but it's not possible. I've wanted to leave several times but I know it's because it's just too hard for me to be here and watch this unfold. I stay because I want to be here to help him and spend time especially while he knows I'm here.
On a lighter note, I've mastered the power chair, zip around and help him drive it which is funny because he hates how I drive a car.