Sayen
New member
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2015
- Messages
- 8
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- CA
- State
- Nova scotia
- City
- halifax
Hi everyone,
I have recently found out my father has ALS. He's had it for about a year and a half now but they were treating him for something else that wasn't terminal. I live in Halifax and he lives in Ontario so I was unaware of any changes happening with him except for his slurred speech which I attributed to this other disease he was diagnosed with. Then a couple months ago I was informed that the treatments weren't working and the doctors thought it was ALS. I was devastated at the thought but remained hopeful that it wasn't that.
Then about a month ago I am informed by my sister that he does in fact have ALS and he has lost alot of weight.
So I booked a flight down for as soon as I could and I am here now with him. I was feeling like I had already lost my father before I came here so I've mostly been feeling relieved that he is still here and in good spirits, but now the weight of it is catching up to me. His neck has lost strength so his head hamgs when he walks sometimes and he can barely speak at times. Today we went to get a feeding tube for him so it will be ready for when he needs it. My parents are acting like they always have been, so this almost seemed normal. But the fact that my dad could lose his ability to speak and move around any time is so heartbreaking to me... Alot of people I've told don't know how to react to it and I feel like I'm being a burden by being sad about it. I know I should just enjoy his company while I can and that's easy when I'm here with him, but I'm scared when I go back to Halifax that I won't know how to deal with it... I don't want to miss the time he has left but I know he wouldn't want me to give up the life I've made for myself either... I just thought we had so much more time. It really hurts to see him this way..
I have recently found out my father has ALS. He's had it for about a year and a half now but they were treating him for something else that wasn't terminal. I live in Halifax and he lives in Ontario so I was unaware of any changes happening with him except for his slurred speech which I attributed to this other disease he was diagnosed with. Then a couple months ago I was informed that the treatments weren't working and the doctors thought it was ALS. I was devastated at the thought but remained hopeful that it wasn't that.
Then about a month ago I am informed by my sister that he does in fact have ALS and he has lost alot of weight.
So I booked a flight down for as soon as I could and I am here now with him. I was feeling like I had already lost my father before I came here so I've mostly been feeling relieved that he is still here and in good spirits, but now the weight of it is catching up to me. His neck has lost strength so his head hamgs when he walks sometimes and he can barely speak at times. Today we went to get a feeding tube for him so it will be ready for when he needs it. My parents are acting like they always have been, so this almost seemed normal. But the fact that my dad could lose his ability to speak and move around any time is so heartbreaking to me... Alot of people I've told don't know how to react to it and I feel like I'm being a burden by being sad about it. I know I should just enjoy his company while I can and that's easy when I'm here with him, but I'm scared when I go back to Halifax that I won't know how to deal with it... I don't want to miss the time he has left but I know he wouldn't want me to give up the life I've made for myself either... I just thought we had so much more time. It really hurts to see him this way..